Han Solo and Chewbacca weigh in on their new hybrid Millenium Falcon


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I'm thinking of highlighting a few of the silly things I write every Wednesday on this blog. And so this particular piece, which was written about 2 years ago, seems as good a place as any to start. At the time I was thinking "environment" and "Chewbacca" - how can I bring those two together? Yeah, I know - wierd.


HAN SOLO: Well, so far, it seems like it's a pretty good thing. Me, I'm not too up on the technology, but Chewie is pretty good at that stuff. Right Chewie?

CHEWBACCA: Uuuhhhggg. Rrrrggghhh. Hhhgg-aaa. Rrrrn.

HAN SOLO: Yeah, that's a good point. Chewie just reminded me that this new system has significantly increased our energy efficiency. Which basically means less money spent at the pump, and more money for blasters and stuff like that.

CHEWBACCA: Rrrrrr! Aaaa-Ghhhuuurr. Uuuuhggg.

HAN SOLO: Right. And lower emissions too. Although, I don't get why that would be such a big deal in deep space. Do greenhouse gases do anything out there anyway?

CHEWBACCA: Uuuuhhh-rrrr. Ghhhgggg. Uuugggg. Ggg. Rrrrr-uuuuaa. RRRR! NNHHHUUUR!

HAN SOLO: Alright, alright. Hey buddy, calm down. I'm not saying it's not a problem. I know there's good science behind all this stuff. It's not like you haven't told me about being environmentally conscious like a hundred times already. Look, I'm sorry buddy. I didn't mean to sound negative. It's not like I'm one of those Empire dudes.

CHEWBACCA: RRRR! Grrr uuur huuurgg RRRRRRRR!

HAN SOLO: Yeah, for sure. It would be pretty funny to watch you pull the arms off a one of those guys.

CHEWBACCA: Gghhnn. Nnnnh.

HAN SOLO: Uh huh. But listen, Chewie, seriously, O.K? How would lower emissions in deep space help? I just don't get it, you know?

CHEWBACCA: Grrrrgh. Uuurhh. RRRggllhh. Hhuu-hhhuu. Auhhh-ghu-gh. RRRRR!. Ggg-rrr, uurrghh. HHGGU! Uuuuhh. Rrr, ggghhu. Huuhhhg. GGGrrr. Uhh?

HAN SOLO: Oh, O.K. That makes sense. Fewer emissions is still good because the Falcon still has a trajectory that leaves or returns to a planet. And that act still directly contributes to increasing greenhouse gas amounts within the confines of the planet's atmosphere - hence, not helping with the global warming problem.

CHEWBACCA: Rrruuhh. Hggu. Rrr-ghhuu. Gggrr. Ggggrrr. Rrrrh. Uuuhhggr. RRRR! Uhhgghug.

HAN SOLO: Definitely. Global warming is bad in so many ways, not the least of which is that Tatooine is already too freakin' hot.

CHEWBACCA: Rrrrrhhg. RRRGGH! Hhhuurrg. Ggrrgh. Huurg. Grrhhg. Guuuaaauu. AAAURRGG! RRRRGGG!

HAN SOLO: Yes, that is a good point to end this conversation. And as for me, basically, I'm pretty happy with the hybrid situation. I mean, as long as we can still make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, I'm content. Plus, I can still say stuff like "Punch it Chewie," which is cool. Chewie loves shit like that, you know.

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You might also note that since electric engines require little to no time to warm up, and offer more rapid acceleration than gas engines, that there is most definitely a performance aspect that would appeal to smugglers trying to get out before the Empire arrives.

we can still make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs
I know it is straight from canon, but I always wtf over this line. A parsec is a unit of distance not time. So they took a shortcut? Wow?
(and yes, I do know the official explanation for this - that they skidded the event horizon of a black hole - and thus their distance travelled was impossibly short)

magnificent issues altogether, you just won a new reader. What might you suggest in regards to your put up that you just made a few days ago? Any certain?:)

By Best Charity F… (not verified) on 27 Sep 2014 #permalink