mementomori
Posts by this author
July 19, 2007
One of the proudest traditions in the health care field is the delivery of "good news and bad news." The following examples were culled from Lamplighter's Smile When You Say That: How to Develop a Gentle Bedside Manner, 2nd edition.
"Well, I've got good news and bad news."
"Give me the good news…
July 17, 2007
Roll over, Grandma, and tell Grandpappy the news - it's time for him to get off his duff and hit the weights:
A scientific statement released Monday by the American Heart Association indicates that weight lifting, also known as resistance training, can provide multiple benefits for patients with…
July 16, 2007
Hey, guess what? One of these things is not like the other - can you determine which anti-cancer treatment does not belong in this list?
JM-216 (satraplatin): an oral platinum analogue active against hormone-refractory prostate cancer
JM-/AMD-473 (picoplatin): an intravenous platinum analogue…
July 13, 2007
Near the Dordogne River, Southwest France, 14,207 B.C. - The inhabitants of a new settlement along the river have become ill. Several months ago they settled near the present-day village of Montignac after a long hegira to free themselves from the cold, not to mention the amateurish musical…
July 10, 2007
"Boob job with your hot dog, ma'am?"
"Patient's Own Body Fat Used in Breast Remodeling"
These two headlines have something in common. Did you decipher what it is?
That's right - they both refer to the same news release about an advance in reconstructive surgery for breast cancer patients, and I…
July 9, 2007
reputation (noun)
1. the estimation in which a person or thing is held, esp. by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation.
2. favorable repute; good name: to ruin one's reputation by misconduct.
3. a favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit,…
July 6, 2007
[Editor's note: the following allegory has something to do with cancer. Sometimes we have trouble figuring out what the narrator is trying to say, so don't blame us.]
There are certain bursts of perfection in summer that if noticed, bring such a feeling of joy to the observer it seems as if a…
July 3, 2007
One billion people will die of tobacco-related diseases this century unless governments in rich and poor countries alike get serious about preventing smoking, top World Health Organization (WHO) experts said on Monday.
This is discouraging news and not just because of the tragedy of watching…
July 2, 2007
First it was cancer, then AIDS, now with the release of a new study showing once again the astonishing prevalence of a serious disease that gets meager attention in this country, one is forced to ask:
Is alcoholism the next health problem to be undertreated due to shame, guilt, blame and ignorance…
June 29, 2007
During my internal medicine residency one of the surgical residents at our hospital got into the habit of addressing us by the moniker "Swami," as in "This guy's going down the tubes - better get the Swamis to see him." As is the case with most jokes, this term of endearment soon came into…
June 27, 2007
[Editor's Note: By a strange coincidence the following exchange was secretly recorded on the same day this report was released: "Personal Comments By Physicians Distract From Patient Needs."]
Dr. Xavier Yonder Zither: Hi, Ms. Ursaline. How are you feeling these days?
Ms. Penelope Ursaline: Not…
June 25, 2007
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost, 1923
I saw a patient today who is about six months out from her last treatment for a vicious lymphoma that darn near killed her before she even got a…
June 21, 2007
Fellow ScienceBlogger Orac has posted the latest on Abraham Cherrix, the Virginia teenager who rejected conventional medical therapy for his relapsed Hodgkin lymphoma in favor of what we in the business call "spot-weld" radiation therapy, as well as unproven alternative supplements, presumably…
June 19, 2007
Parents who smoke in front of their children expose them to the toxic chemicals found in passive cigarette smoke, but surely this is only seen in older kids, right?
"Researchers issue new warning on risks of smoking near babies"
Parents who smoke near their newborn babies are turning their children…
June 18, 2007
We live in exciting times, and not just because David Hasselhoff is back on prime-time television. GlaxoSmithKline has just announced it is developing five new agents to fight cancer and expects to have them introduced within three years. A story like this has the same effect on oncologists as an…
June 14, 2007
Ovarian cancer is difficult to diagnose in its early stage due to the lack of a highly sensitive or specific screening test. The National Cancer Institute's website summarizes the meager data on screening tests, such as CA-125 levels or pelvic ultrasounds.
Now a coalition of cancer organizations…
June 13, 2007
Things you don't want to hear from your hospital nurse:
1. "Oh, do we have a big surprise for you today!"
2. "Let's see if I've got this straight - you're on for a castration at 1:00, right?"
3. "Here, give me that newspaper - it'll just bore you."
4. "Now where did I leave that thermometer?"
5…
June 11, 2007
Most patients want physicians to shake their hands when they first meet, and about half want their first names used in greetings, according to a report in the June 11 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine.
Researchers at the Norwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine conducted a survey of…
June 11, 2007
What's the difference between a plastic surgeon and an oncologist?
A plastic surgeon says, "I guarantee I can make you younger."
An oncologist says, "I can't make you any younger, but I will try like hell to make you older."
June 10, 2007
[Editor's Note - the management and staff of "The Cheerful Oncologist, Inc." wish to remind the gentle reader that the following comments are only meant to be general guidelines on how to cope with a malpractice lawsuit. No matter what he implies, the C. O. is not only completely unqualified to…
June 6, 2007
In the following excerpts from a new study on testosterone levels in old men, a certain recurring theme appears. I have placed this notion in italics. Can you guess why this story made me laugh?
"Older Men May Not Live As Long If They Have Low Testosterone"
Low levels of testosterone may increase…
June 4, 2007
A new drug looks poised to become the first effective treatment for liver cancer, one of the most common and deadliest cancers in the world and one whose incidence has been rising in the United States.
Today at the annual ASCO meeting the results of a clinical trial of 602 patients with…
June 1, 2007
I have a question for any students in the audience today. Are you ready? Here it is: what is the most important part of the medical history?
The medical history, by the way, is what physicians document when they meet a patient for the first time. The doctor asks a series of questions and the…
May 30, 2007
What's more disturbing, a frustrated patient or a frustrated oncologist?
I only bring this up because I had one of those days at work today where it seemed legions of smartly dressed nurses, secretaries, pharmacists and lab techs were conspiring to drive me insane with their bureaucratic edicts all…
May 29, 2007
Summer is here, and everyone is getting into the swim. Before donning that stylish and flattering bathing suit, though, let us review some lessons on summer water safety from our friends up north:
A report from Canada reveals that 86 percent of parents believe that swimming lessons are enough to…
May 25, 2007
Things You Don't Want to Hear During an Ambulance Ride to the Hospital
1. "Sir, would you like some music?"
2. "Wait! I think we forgot the defibrillator!"
3. "Relax, willya...this is a shortcut."
4. "Now, you're not going to say anything about this, are you?"
5. "Isn't that your wife over…
May 22, 2007
San Diego, 1932 - Dr. Philip J. Hooley, a popular otolaryngologist, is enjoying a round of Saturday afternoon golf with friends when he is approached by a club valet with an urgent message. Little William Mackapease, six years old and heir to the Mackapease frozen food fortune, has swallowed a…
May 21, 2007
Concerned that this country's lackadaisical attention to our environment is a threat to the populace? Interested in forming a new society where human behavior is tightly regulated, so as to not upset the delicate balance of nature on this planet? Looking to grab a few more carbon offsets before…
May 20, 2007
Walt Whitman (1819-1892), regarded as one of our nation's greatest poets, broke many barriers with his writing, resulting in criticism, controversy and of course worldwide and everlasting fame. His use of freestyle verse, his audacious (for the times) description of sexuality and his egocentric…
May 16, 2007
We interrupt this program to bring you this special report:
"Study offers hope of remedy for baldness"
Suddenly tens of millions of men in this country stop in their tracks and strain to hear the voice on the radio:
"Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania report in the journal Nature that…