Things you don't want to hear from your hospital nurse:
1. "Oh, do we have a big surprise for you today!"
2. "Let's see if I've got this straight - you're on for a castration at 1:00, right?"
3. "Here, give me that newspaper - it'll just bore you."
4. "Now where did I leave that thermometer?"
5. "Dmitri will be giving you your bath this morning."
6. "Why don't you take a guess first."
7. "Time for a walk in the halls!"
8. "Hmm...there seems to be something stuck under your mattress."
9. "Let me get you a band-aid."
10. "You haven't had a cigarette in three days - aren't you proud?"
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The other day I had a dental student working on one of my teeth. The professor came by and said "This is tricky. Are you sure you can do this?"
That was the scary moment. The student actually did a great job.
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