What It is Like to Be Me This Week


These are two of my sons, Judah and Zion. Adorable, no? Yeah, I think so too. And they are so sweet. Zion loves animals, he wants to know everything about them. And anything that begins with the letter Z 'My yetter!" Judah is one of the sweetest natured kids on the earth - if someone tries to take something from him, and I tell them to give it back, he'll say "It is ok, I will share." He wants to help with every single thing in the world - he's the first volunteer to do anything, to clean, to help find something.

And someday they will be Black Men. Tall, and strong, with cars and hoodies and responsibilities, and yes, anger. Someday some of you will instinctively think "trouble" when they come down the street, or maybe wonder what they doing where they are. I only have a decade (less, they are six and four) before they are teenagers, and move from beautiful to frightening to many white people - not for what they did, but for who they are. Maybe they'll make some mistakes. I certainly did at that age. They aren't perfect now - they won't be then. But they are so very beloved, and have so much promise.

And then when they walk out the door, I will wonder if I will see them again. I love them just as much as you love your children or your family. They are no more frightening than your sons and daughters and nieces and nephews and grandchildren. And yet they could die because of our fear and our failure. If they are murdered, I could listen to the media say it was really their fault. Sit with that. I have to. Every Black mother has to.

When do my boys with their stuffed zebras, giggles and cookies become something so fearful that they can be destroyed for it?

More like this

"It is soooo hard to wait, Mom!" Isaiah is seven years old and when you are seven, uncertainty is torture. He asks me when the mail will get here 20 times a day, and can he go out and wait for the mail truck? I point out that it is 4 degrees F out there, and the mail won't be here for three…
If you're grabbing some quick blog-reading amongst your other goings on, I have a few posts to recommend. At Wampum -- you know, the fine blog that runs the Koufax awards-- Mary Beth faces down a holiday with tight resources: A few hours ago, my eldest asked me when we were going to go pick up our…
I think these win not only on cute but on awesome naming: meet the Dik Dik. They're named after the sound they make when startled, which I would guess is really just their way of saying "you're a total jerk" to whatever disturbs them. They live in open plains frolicking amongst other adorable grass…
Take five little pieces of paper, and write down the five things that matter most to you in your life, whatever they are. Your parents. Your partner. Your kids, Your community. Your grand passion - art or the Red Sox, guitar or hunting or knitting. Your home. Your favorite chair. Your dreams for…

Thank you for this information .i like your website because it have a lot of articles that they happen in everyday of our life.

By Online term paper (not verified) on 21 Jul 2016 #permalink

I'm sorry that the first comment you got on this post is some silly spam.

I try to overcome/ignore my childhood socialization to fear black men. Or at least to get it down to the same level as white men. I usually don't succeed, but for your boys I will try harder.

By JustaTech (not verified) on 22 Jul 2016 #permalink

Lovely boys. Too bad their mum has swallowed all the racist tripe coming from BLM. Hopefully the hate filled ideology, bigotry and grievance mongering they espouse won't infect their young minds like it has their mother's.

The real problem with your Yank police is militarization and occupation-force style policing, not systemic racism. BLM is exploiting this in the same manner that the Klan used to frighten poor whites in the Southern States, with tales of ravaging black men.

What beautiful boys. I wish the best for them & all others like them, and I appreciate the perspectives you share.

I am commenting in part because of the obnoxious comment about BLM. Perhaps policing style is also a result of racism, hmmmmm? And not to diminish an allegation of rape (which I think it what is meant by 'ravaging black men'), but that in no way compares to an authority figure using a rigged system of power to end someone else's life with legal consequences.

Your boys are lovely and I will think about them and the need to make the world safe for them when I look at my own boys.