The Onion Sums Up the Trump Campaign

This is perfect:

The latest polls are out, and just as I predicted, I'm leading the Republican presidential race by a wide margin. You might be wondering how that could be. After all, it's hardly been a month since I entered the field and I've already alienated America’s largest immigrant population, seen dozens of my high-profile business deals implode one after the other, and publicly insulted a national hero’s military service, all while not offering a single viable policy idea. But none of that matters at all, and my candidacy continues to surge forward, because none of you—not a single one of you—can look away. Not even for a second.

Admit it: You people want to see just how far this goes, don’t you?

My campaign’s just barely begun and I've already got you begging for more. Sure, you can say you oppose me or that you don’t even take me seriously. But let me ask you: How many articles have you read about Ted Cruz lately? How many news segments have you watched on Bobby Jindal? Or Rand Paul? But if those stories have the name “Donald Trump” in them, well, look who suddenly can’t get enough.

The thing is, I’ve got all of you eating out of my hand and I haven't even released a single campaign commercial yet. Don’t look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to stick around and see what that looks like, because you and I both know these ads are going to be absolutely incredible. I’ll be standing there projecting my best presidential air, saying “I'm Donald Trump, and I approve this message,” and you won't be able to take your eyes off it.

Go read the rest!

More like this

yeah, Trump is fodder for a lot of humor, but honestly, it's bad enough what the support for various other Repub. candidates represents; Trump's popularity is beyond the pale and not a good omen for the judgment of the American electorate.

A poster on another site pointed out that Trump has only partially fulfilled the FEC requirements for declaring candidacy; he has yet to release all the financial info he ultimately needs to do so to run. He's not in breach of the law or anything, its just that he has a couple months where he's allowed to call himself a candidate before getting all the paperwork in.

Now, I am very skeptical that he will get it all in. So it could be the case that this is all a giant con game, with Trump doing a full court PR campaign in order to pull in lots of financial contributions, only to pull out of the race (but keep all that money) a few months from now. IOW, he could be Palining.

Shecky R,

I don't know. I haven't checked it out for myself, but from what I've heard the same poll showing Trump in the lead also shows that over 60% of Republicans said that they would never vote for Trump in an election. He's entertaining and all, but at the end of the day, I don't think he'll get many voters.

Polls at this point in the cycle are pretty meaningless; mostly they are about name recognition (especially in a 16 candidate field). Trump already had the name recognition and all the media attention he's garnered lately has only helped him in that regard.

I read the whole article you linked to, Jason. I must admit that if I didn't know that it was posted on the Onion, I might well have taken it seriously! I could see Trump publishing this exact article as an op-ed somewhere.

Trump's campaign slogan:

We Shall Overcomb!

sean s.

By sean samis (not verified) on 22 Jul 2015 #permalink

This year's Republican candidates are overtly dangerous.

Envision Trump negotiating with Putin, and if you contemplate that for a while you may decide to build a backyard fallout shelter.

But Trump is merely a bombastic narcissist. Half or more of the present crop of Republicans, are "end-timers," meaning that they eagerly look forward to the Biblical "end-times." Some of them are also deluded enough to believe that they could be God's special anointed angel to bring on the end-times. That would mean the war of Armageddon, which today translates to starting a nuclear war in the Middle East. But unlike Las Vegas, what starts there won't stay there.

Y'all need to know about this: is the leading site for research & writing about the religious right, and they have numerous articles about politicians' end-times beliefs. Also look up articles on NAR, the New Apostolic Reformation, whose members believe they have "apostolic authority" in the same manner as Jesus' original disciples. In other words anything they say carries a type of Biblical authority. Rick Perry is one, Huckabee is another, there are more.

Much of what's on Talk2Action is written by members of the religious left, but atheists need to know this stuff so don't let that get you down. From the atheist perspective, Perry are merely delusional; from the religious left perspective, they're heretics; but either way you look at it, they're as dangerous as poisonous snakes in your bed.

There's a clear "what you can do" here, which is for each and every one of us to make sure that every person we know is registered to vote and then votes for anyone other than these dangerous lunatics.

There is some evidence that in the early months of a campaign the folks who become engaged first are the folks on the extremes (for each side of the political spectrum). I buy that, and I think that's what we're seeing now with the Donald. (should "the" be capitalized? I can't remember.)

What I can't reconcile is the ability of some of his local (to me) supporters to ignore basic facts: every Friday morning I spend an hour or so in a local bagel/coffee shop catching up on simple work, and have gotten to know a group of retired military men. Big Trump supporters. Why? "He's a self-made man." "He's got a fantastic business record." "He's never wavered or changed course on what he believes."
I pointed out a couple of his comments from 2012, about how Romney and the Republican party had immigration issues completely wrong. I was taking him out of context. I mentioned how in 1999 he said that he viewed himself as "quite liberal" on health care and considered free health care to be something that "should be considered a basic right for everyone in this country."
That's ancient history and not relevant.

Mind you, only one of these guys is an extreme anti-President Obama type: they all disagree with his policies, but most think he just didn't have enough experience to be president. They just really want a change, and they've convinced themselves Trump is the person to bring it.

The Donald's books are difficult to read because they all start with Chapter 11.

Addendum to Eric(#2): Doesn't Trump have to finish filing to qualify for the Faux debates?

I also wonder for all the wealth he claims, what is on the debt side of the balance sheet.

@10: I don't know anything more than the info I got second-hand. Here is a little more but it isn't very helpful. Regardless of whether he's a legit candidate or just in it for some wallet- and ego- stroking (and plans to back out later), the Onion is kind of right, its hard to keep ones' eyes off his antics at the moment.