Maiyer's Half Century

PZ Mghserx hits the big 50, the youngster. And there's a poetry fest going on at his blog (for values of "poetry" that includes all Vogonesque contributions). I wrote this, but I thought I'd add it here, with typos corrected.

The Myers Biological Song:

You are the very model of a modern biological

You've information vegetable, animal and logical

You know the ways of genomes and can list developmentical

From zygote to fifth instar you can tell if it's pharyngical.

You're very well acquainted too with things creatonistical

And understand the politics of matters atheistical

About intelligent design you're teeming with the critical

With many snarky things to say about the hypocritical.

You're very good at deconstructing neocon rhetoricus

You know the names of pundits who are seen to be ridiculous.

In short, in matters vegetable, animal and logical

You are the very model of a modern biological.

You know the mythic history of religious intransigents

You answer hard apologetics offered by evangelists

You quote the sci-en-tific liter-a-ture very concisely

And give out texts so students can admire your actions wise-ly.

You can tell a proper explanation from a sketch miraculous

You know the physiology that goes along with baculus

You can hum the Internationale while dealing with the credulous

And love for reasons unknown all the shapes of things mollusculous.

Then you write a blog from which all the laity can be taught

And mess with people's minds by showing them they don't know what they thought.

When others make it harder or just try to further fabulate

And when they use religion over science to regurgitate

The dogmas of an early age we progressed by last century

You treat them with derision or project the penitentiary.

In short, when you encounter ignorant epistemology

You say that we had better all rehearse the real biology.

For your scientific knowledge, though you're feisty and all generous,

Though broad and full of clarity, is but part of your ingenious

Recall of matters vegetable, animal and logical.

You are the very model of a modern biological.

No apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan. None whatever.