Darwinian gardening, again

I'm not a gardener, really I'm not. I once killed a cactus plant by underwatering it. I found it on the window sill one day three years after I last took note of it and it was black. I don't believe in the concept "weed". If a plant survives my tender ministrations, it deserves to be there. I call it survival of the fittest, or Darwinian gardening.

This simple idea has saved me from hours of drudgery. I think it ought to be a moral precept, or a commandment of God, for all of us who find the notion of trying to make the unsuited thrive in conditions that are resource hungry and basically a matter of vanity, distasteful.

As I have previously noted, I'm not the only guy to come up with this life-saving notion. But he's still delivering the goods:

Q. My whole lawn is dying, yet why does grass keep growing in the cracks in my driveway and over the sidewalk and slab beneath the air-conditioning unit?

Driveways and sidewalks emit an enzyme that stimulates St. Augustine grass. The Darwinian Gardener was told that by a guy in a bar. He was so impressed with its explanatory power that he posted it on Wikipedia. It's now an accepted fact.

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So, I'm not the only one in this case: "I once killed a cactus plant by underwatering it."
Mine was 'brownie' but I can't tell for how long.
Damn, I'm not living in the desert and it could have use some rain water.

My girlfriend pretends that it had a 'lot' of rainwater.

Darwinian Gardening? Awesome! Now I have a name for my technique.

It actually works well for me, and my garden isn't a shriveled wasteland. When I first moved into my home, I planted all sorts of stuff, helter skelter, just because I thought it would be pretty. After a year of my "care," about half of it (all the stuff that needed water regularly) was dead. Everything else was doing fine, though. So, I put more of that stuff in the spaces left by what had died. Now I have some really beautiful desert sage plants, rosemary, several lavenders, and some rose bushes. I never ever water any of them. Best of both worlds. (I live in northern California, btw, and for several months out of the year we don't get any rain at all).

I guess I'm just lucky (or just good at following the instructions I've found on the web): I had never seriously attempted to grow any kind of plant, but last year I started buying orchid plants and now I have 15, out of which only 2 have died on me. I blame my cat for one (he threw it on the floor and it lied there for several days, as I was out of town... I guess my cat doesn't like to be alone and took revenge on me through the plant). The other one refused to grow from the start, I think it was to damaged to begin with (I bought it without a pot). Living in Mexico in an area in which temperatures aren't very extreme also helps.

As I dimly recall remarking last time this came up, I've practiced Darwinian gardening for decades. The garlic that has naturalized is doing particularly well.

Heh. Killed a cactus. And I thought it was only me.

We have a good friend, one of those people who can make anything at all grow and flourish apparently by merely thinking about it. She keeps giving me plants and I dutifully carry them home and kill them. The last casualty was a crown of thorns (and I had such hopes for it--it managed to last months!)

I think I'm going to have to try Wendy's approach. I already have chives and hostas and some lilies that thrive on neglect, there must be some other stuff....