Story From Onion Accidentally Breaks Free, Invades Reality

Ohio Senate Schedules a Fetus to Testify About Abortion Bill

In support of a bill that proposes banning abortions after the first heartbeat (something that can happen within eighteen days of conception), the anti-abortion group Faith2Action has scheduled a nine-week-old fetus to testify as a legislative witness before Ohio's House Health Committee. ...

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This is a 5-week-old human fetus. It's an awesomely cool period of development. Organogenesis is well under way, segmentation is completely, limb buds are forming. The heart is beating, which is neat, but then you have to keep in mind that you can tease a heart apart into individual cells in a…
Hilzoy and Megan McArdle have had an exchange over abortion, which includes, as these discussions always do, a ton of talking-past-each-other. This tends to happen, because anti-choicers tend to ignore the pregnant woman, and put all their attention on the well-being of the embryo (and my friend…
I am pro-abortion. Not in the sense that I think abortions are good. I don't. In the sense that I am pro-surgery for medical conditions that can be surgically treated, or pro-pharmaceuticals for medical conditions that can be treated with drugs. I consider an unwanted fertilization to be a medical…
Oh gob, the stupidity. The latest wave of anti-choice legislation is based on one trivial premise: it's got a heartbeat! You can't kill it if its heart is beating! So stupid bills have been flitting about in the Ohio, Mississippi, Wyoming, Arkansas, and North Dakota legislatures trying to redefine…

Man, I hope the Dems tear that fetus apart during cross-examination.

Well, I can somewhat understand Faith2Action's choice of witness: at 6 weeks a fetus has a heart and a few grams of working brain cells - that's a lot more than can be said for Janet Folger.

By Phillip IV (not verified) on 01 Mar 2011 #permalink

Facilitated speaking?

By uncle Glenny (not verified) on 01 Mar 2011 #permalink

I think that means using a medium to talk to it.

By stripey_cat (not verified) on 02 Mar 2011 #permalink

I've been waiting for The Onion to issue a press release saying they're closing up shop: "It's just too hard. We can't compete with the real news anymore. Nobody can tell the difference."

By Equisetum (not verified) on 02 Mar 2011 #permalink

I just hope this stunt looks just as foolish to everyone in their audience as it does to me....but I'm afraid it won't.

paulmurray @ #8:

It's kinda what heart muscle does for a living.

And doesn't do for a dead.

By Phillip IV (not verified) on 03 Mar 2011 #permalink