Update: HELP! My Captors are Torturing Me

I just thought I'd let you all know -- while I still can -- that my captors are restricting my computer usage to 90 minutes per day. To say the least, I am depressed as all hell about this because I won't be able to provide as much new content for you as I have been recently and also because I won't have as much time to respond to your comments and emails.

In short, to use their terminology, I think this move on their part is NOT THERAPEUTIC. They have cruelly removed my voice, denied my ability to express myself. This action is also offensive because I've never caused a problem for anyone else with my computer useage and because this near-loss of my computer access is isolating me from my world. So please, amigos bonitos, don't think I've forgotten about you, or am ignoring you. I am doing my best to stay with you and to keep my blog going for you.

I do have some things scheduled to pop up here throughout the day every day, so you still will have things to read, but right now, who knows what will happen with recent events? Can I speak about them, or not? But the patients on the unit just got together and decided to ignore the sign-up sheet, so we shall see if that works for us. One of the patients said that he is involved in this boycott of the sign-up sheet because he knows how important the computer is to me.

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And then what happened?

How the heck did this nuthouse story get started in the first place?

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It is an outrage that they would deny a privilege once it has been extended. That seems cruel. I hope they permit you more unlimited access time, especially if it is contributing to your health and well-being.

What?? Was your application for release rescinded? Is this a follow-up action to help you meet your goals:"negotiate an agreement with me for outpatient care such that I can be discharged when those goals have been met"?? or is it retaliation, abuse or a test of your emotional control when confonted with restrictions.Hmmm,what do they have planned for you to do instead of blogging or computer use that would help you bring about these goals??? Hospital stays are sooo comfortable and entertaining - NOT! Contact attorneys...doctors are afraid when support systems,the law,and not following protical in theraputic treatments are not followed. Shake the tree,Hedwig...I wish you mentally healthy and out of that place when goals are met and restriction of your computer useage is pretty lame. I am suspicious and can imagine how this must re-enforce your distrust.argggggggg....

By Diane in Ohio (not verified) on 05 Dec 2006 #permalink

I'm going to be optimistic and hope they're trying to make sure everyone has time on the computers - if there's a sign-up sheet it sounds as if you're all using a small set of machines. If that's the case, I hope your chosen tactics work out - I'd say it's self-evident that being online is helping you stay balanced. (Plus, we miss you!) With luck, they won't actually stand over you with timers, just enforce sharing if need be... Most of all I hope you get out SOON!!!

The following three paragraphs are my personal opinion based on what I have seen:

As in other hospital events I have witnessed, the staff may be, probably unconsciously, using methods that actually induce in the patients the feelings and symptoms that the hospitalization is supposed to be treating. This reinforces the staff's expectations and comfort level by keeping patients familiar and predictable.

It seems to me to be incredibly important that you not allow their restrictions to induce depression in you, thus giving them an excuse to keep you longer. You could use your time away from the computer to plan in great detail your computer activities so that you can accomplish more in the computer time you have. One thing you can possibly do is to ask some specific people to send you, say, two links a week to specific items you can comment on here on your blog. Develop your comments ahead of time, and type them in quickly during your ninety minutes. Are there any people who would write "guest posts" and E-mail them to you for quick posting with just a sentence or two of your own as introduction?

I do understand that it can be extremely difficult for an adult raised in a free society to figure out how to survive undamaged in a closed environment where every aspect of life is controlled by others. But please re-consider any breaking of rules. The staff is evaluated by their bosses on their ability to keep tight control of everything that happens in their units. If you make them look bad to their bosses, they may well respond with further controls of the type that are likely to induce depression and apathy in patients, making further control even easier.

Sorry, there's nothing we can do now that Bush has eliminated habeus corpus. If they advance to waterboarding techniques we can try to get the Red Cross to intervene.

By Mustafa Mond, FCD (not verified) on 05 Dec 2006 #permalink

As others have already suggested; put on a happy face', become nauseatingly cheerful and helpful to other inmates.
Staff would never admit to retribution for behavior problems that they couldn't identify anyway!
Your intellectual proclivities make you wide-opened to manic diagnosis to those not use to curiosity of the mind-full
What you judge rightly as enthusiasm for ideas, facts and awesome pictures, seems pathological to the pedantic staffers, who regrettably are going home to watch American Idol.
This evaluation is probably a bit over the top, but there is truth there too!
The old saw about Genius and Madness is always floating around. So get to work on the new persona, we stand bype requwstr per request!

By judy roth (not verified) on 05 Dec 2006 #permalink

Waitafrickinminute!!! They argue against releasing you because they think you have no friends in the city. Then, having confined you and therefore denied you access to any city friends you might have had, they then restrict your access to your friends on the Internet too!!?!!

What Judy (and others) said, you need to put on the happy face rather than give them any excuse to keep you inside. Yes, it sucks that only the officially sane are free to throw a screaming wobbly at the general shittitude of the world, but you have to play the ball from where it lies.

Strength, Courage, Truth,

Grrr! I actually didn't see this note until after I saw your more recent update. I agree with Julia, whose first paragraph especially put things rather more politely than I could have. I really hope you got that 10-14 days in writing....

By David Harmon (not verified) on 05 Dec 2006 #permalink