Failed. My hair is as blonde as ever. Maybe blonder, as if that is possible.
So the saner people among you are probably wondering; Why am I trying to turn my blonde hair red? Well, in my book, which I may write, the main character will be bipolar and will change her hair color with wash-in hair colors to match her mood, so I thought I'd give it a try in real life, just to see how/if it works.
I also have bad news: I have a hole in my jeans on my ass -- right on an inner buttcheek! This is really embarassing, and I am not allowed to fix it, either. I think the staff remains convinced that I will commit suicide by repeatedly stabbing myself in the eye with the needle.
So because of the staff's unfounded fears (i am the queen of drug overdoses, afterall), I can spend the rest of my stay here, flashing people. I am sure that the men on the unit will appreciate this cheap thrill. I asked for a 3-inch piece of strapping tape or silver electrical tape or duct (duck) tape to put over the hole, but the staff won't give me any. Instead, they told me to change my pants. Well, gee, if I had any other pants to wear, I would have thought of that very thing all by myself, but I don't! I guess I will have to use a wheelchair to get around now to protect everyone from my lurid display of buttage.
Addendum (Addenim??): my jeans size is an affordable Levi 560, 30-36.
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Could you just dye your buttcheek blue?
Bob
You also have patients' rights to appropriate personal clothing. Check out this link: http://www.omh.state.ny.us/omhweb/patientrights/inpatient_rts.htm
A book! Sounds like a bestseller to me. Your sense of humor is so outstanding. Pain and humor are always a sell...but you could use some sex (note my post on your blog above.) Just kidding.
I guarantee if you post your jeans size you will get more jeans than you can wear out!!
Duct Tape is, after all, the most powerful force in the universe, so you can see why they might be hesitant to freely hand it out in a nuthouse. After all, you might use it to change the fine structure constant, or something, and then the Sun would collapse, or something. Can't be too careful.
Re: hair color, what you REALLY need are little nanothingies that let you literally change your hair color at a whim. One of my guilty pleasures once upon a time was the TV show "Andromeda" (although I stopped watching it after 2 seasons. I used to call it "my dumb show" to my wife. Then, after the second season, the booted the writer because his scrips were, yes, "too cereberal." Yipers.) There was a character who had (usually) blond hair, but she could change them at a whim thanks to some sort of nanothingies embedded throughout her hair. (There was also a Secret Messgae from her uncle in them, but you don't need that.)
In any event, the staff probably isn't worried about you stabbing yourself in the eye with a needle. They've probably watched too much Alias and think that you'll be able to both escape and bring down two or three third-world governments if given a needle. Here's how you can tell: do they ever get within spin-kick distance of you? If not, they think you're Sidney Bristow.
-Rob
Grrl....
Sorry to hear that your hair experiment didn't work, but you didn't really want someone screaming "looooooooooooooooocy...I'm HOOOOOOOOME" at you anyway, did you?? (If you did, well, you're more nuts than i thought!!! jk!)
As for the hole in your butt, well... you could always get a sharpie or a laundry marker and color a big blue square on your cheek, and if staff asks you what you're doing, you could explain that you're exploring creative non permanent body modification. THAT ought to get them to get you some new pants....
Not sure about the needle...maybe they think you'll use it to dial up your alien captors from venus to get you out of there?
*HUGS*
J
Ugh... would it be possible to ask them to let you borrow a pair of pants in your size, or a skirt, so that you can change in the presence of a nurse if necessary? I'm going entirely out on a limb here; I don't know what standard procedure is like in that situation.
I think your hair is a lovely shade of luminous blond. I am quite envious, actually!
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