A Strong Dose of Reality

Yeah I've got a life like that too. My tropical fishes are dying because I can't afford a new striplight. I would give you a hug if there wasn't an ocean between us. At least we don't have hospital bills here.
Best wishes (I have nothing else to give).

Take heart and be comforted - you aren't alone, and there are people who love you.

Yesterday, a Saturn tried to cross five lanes (including two turn lanes - near an intersection) in order to go in the opposite direction. Since the light was red, vehicles in otherer lanes (me included) stopped to allow her to go across. In the process an SUV entered the turn lane, and not seeing the Saturn, slammed right into the nose. The Saturn took most of the damage including cracking the radiator spilling coolant all over the street. This occurred right in front of my truck, so I hit my hazards and jumped out to make sure everyone was okay, and stuck around to give witness account. While waiting for the police to arrive, the driver of the Saturn was crying, and quite emotional over the situation over her smashed up car, saying that her Dad was going to kill her (she was 17 or so). Understandably she was shaken up, but was concerned about the driver of the other car, and asking if he was okay. She continued to repeat things like it was the worst day of her life, etc. At one point, the driver of the toyota told her, that if this was the worst day of your life, then you can count yourself pretty lucky.

The reason I told that story was to illustrate the the point that, even though the situate seem pretty dire, if you have the ability to get up and do a job, you can get things back in order. Trying to hide from the situation is natural, and I understand how you feel, but being active towards the situation would be a better course of action. If nothing else, throw up a donation link in order to support the cost of caring for your birds. I'm sure people would be willing to help. Let people know more of the situation, and find out more for yourself. The more information, the better.

Take small steps. Don't wake up trying to take on all the problems in your head at once. Accomplish very simple tasks, and keep moving. You'll come out of this. You have education, and an audience, you've got yhings going for you!

Good luck

-- jolt

That sounds like a bad week. At least you didn't get hit by that exploding manhole cover ;)

I have had my fair share of problems with bills I can't pay. As far as the bill for the birds, did you already have some kind of pre-existing contract or business relationship with the caretaker? Didn't some of the birds die in this person's care?

There are legal services that can help people with legal problems, like questionable bills, who would not otherwise have access to legal advice. I am not familiar with the ones in the NYC area. When I lived in NYC the MDSG had a lawyer give a lecture on the legal system for people with mood disorders. Maybe there is some info on MDSG's site.

There is always hope. Don't let the bad times get you overwhelmed. And stay away from exploding manhole covers ;)

I agree with Joltvolta...have u got ahold of legal aide yet? where is your advocates??? are u following up on things as we all offer suggestions?!!! I hate a whiner but there have been many people who have tried to offer suggestions for you to try but we never hear any feedback. I could tell something was wrong as I have had a comment for "life of birds" which was held for review 2 days ago - did it fly away? Are u taking your meds? My x would quit taking his and I couldn't cope. It led to divorce and reclaiming my "peace of mind". You have 2 good feet,go get a job and put things in order. I scrubbed toilets for 2 years and worked on a large chicken farm processing eggs for a time all with a college degree. Yes,abit over quailified but it paid the bills. my village has alot of low-income people who don't work steady and I hear this kinda "talk" ALOT. Where is your social network - if not supportive, get new friends! Negativity does no good. Change your enviroment if caustic and your attitude. Take a walk,clear your head...........

Hang in there Grrl. We're behind you!

I never know what to say Grrl. 8( Sucks.

Grrrl, you are sliding down that well. Call friends, call your doctors, get ahold of somebody you trust. You know the symptoms well enough to recognize it when you are sliding into depression. This is one of those times. Don't let it happen. If I were in NY, I would be there myself to help. There others here are right, you have friends, many of them. There has got to be somebody you can turn to for help.

Hang in there.

--JK--

Grrl, this just plain sucks--on 2 levels--1) how it messes with your head, and 2) because this bizarre so-called-caretaker is still on the loose and causing you grief. I agree with JK--now is the time to pull in your support systems to boost your own mental health. And once you do that, one of those support folk should have an idea about how to get Ms. Bizarro off your case...whether it's some sort of Legal Aid, or a personal connection with a lawyer with a lovely Fearsome Letterhead, or even some social worker or outreach type back at the hospital you were in...
Also, I hope you're not reluctant to ask your friends for help; if you flip the situation, it's my guess you'd be there for your friends, so that's how the world is SUPPOSED to work...
Hang in there. Hang in there. Take it in small pieces--with personal support first... Sorry I'm so far off in snowy St. Paul...I'd be there with tea and chocolate, but a virtual hug will have to substitute...
Blessings, and a more peaceful heart.

well, that's the problem with a mood disorder .. one hour, i am feeling alright, as if i can accomplish things, and the next hour, i am in the depths of a crippling despair and barely able to do anything. this emotional roller coaster makes it really difficult to keep my chin up and to believe the best outcome for the situation. the meds only modify those ups-and-downs somewhat right now. in fact, the meds are supposed to take as long as six months before i see significant improvement in mood so i have some time to go before i notice anything.

i have contacted legal aid but they are not open until monday morning, so i missed the boat on that and thus, have an entire weekend to brood over the situation before i can call them back during their office hours.

i currently am working odd jobs for cash since i have been unable to find anything else, and it is too late to get a teaching position (it's the middle of the semester right now) even if i could handle the demands of teaching, which i cannot right now, so basically, i am doing what i can to survive but it's not enough so far. further, i am awaiting the decision as to whether i can get on disability, which should last for six months from the time when it is awarded. that would make my recovery a lot simpler after that kicks in.

and yes, one of my birds died under the care-giver's care.

Indeed, mood swings suck big-time!

Even so, try to hold on, there's always room for things to improve, and this bill is just a paper tiger. To reiterate what I said last time you brought this up: this lady can bill, and even sue ,you all she wants. Getting any money is another story entirely, because even the courts can't squeeze blood from a turnip. My father, a lawyer, used to refer to indigent defendants as "judgement-proof", for just that reason.

Perhaps you could meditate upon Mark Twain's advice for happiness in life: First thing every morning, you should swallow a live frog. That way, for the rest of the day, nothing worse can happen... to either of you. ;-)

Oh yeah, and disability (SSD) can last longer than that -- I've been on it for several years since my last big "crash".

The only thing I can add to what other people have already written is that I think your self-assessment is wrong: a sissy wouldn't have got this far.

Bob