Okay, I have a proposition for all of you, dear readers. In an attempt to increase my sicko rating while simultaneously adding some spice to my otherwise boring science blog, I have written an ad for a rare job opportunity, especially for all you struggling female scientists out there (below the fold);
Are you a female PhD in either the sciences or maths, between the ages of twenty-five and thirty? Are you tired of lying around in bed all day, depressed and unemployable, with nothing meaningful to do with your life?
Well, you never need get up again, because in six short weeks I can train you to be a high-class Ho.
Imagine this: you can earn fifteen hundred dollars each week without even leaving the comfort of your own bedroom. Does this sound too good to be true? Just send $29.95 to my Paypal account for my new book, I Wanna Be Yo Ho.
Covered in this one-of-a-kind book is a complete step-by-step program, along with its own DVD, that transforms you from a hard-working but barely-paid scientist into an on-your-back highly-paid entrepreneur. Learn important skills such as how to apply make-up, along with the fine art of the strip tease and the heart-pounding excitement of lap dancing -- all in the privacy of your own bedroom!
And if you act quickly, you can also get the advanced Ho Primer for ambitious Ho-wannabes for free. This Ho Primer teaches you valuable outdoor skills, such as walking in stiletto heels in the dark. For a limited time only, you can get all this for only 29.95! Buy today!
(Do I need to tell you that this is a spoof? There is no book, DVD or primer)
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Hello, Velvet Jones. Is your school of technology still in business?
Hmmm, some people may need a bit of surgery before they can really pound his heart.
Bob
Do you offer quantity discounts?
I don't have a PayPal account or the correct parts.
Another opportunity lost :o(
Excellent work... I especially liked Chapter 7: "Kinky is using a feather... perverted is using the whole macaw". ;-)
Here's a decent starting point for a riff on violence.... (Yeah, that Pizarro was just the worst sort of illegal immigrant... ;-) )
How about job placement services? Apprenticeship oportunities?
ah, yes, dave. i wrote that particular chapter last, as a reward for working on the others first. glad you liked it!
Well now I have to go get a PhD just so I can be qualified to order the course.
Will you consider opening this course to museum curators who, despite holding a master's degree, make less than the average truck driver?
So that is what my PhD is good for....was wondering.