It's Not Easy Being Green

Today's view out the windows of my new neighborhood coffee shop.
It's cold outside today, and snow is predicted overnight, with snow and
sleet tomorrow morning.

GrrlScientist 2008 [larger view].

I am not sure if you've noticed or not, but I've been having a rough time leaving my apartment these past few weeks, which has affected my writing. Even though I've tried to keep my mind focused on books and DVDs and my own book ideas, and I've tried to write about them, I've been so unable to concentrate and I am so uncomfortable with being away from my apartment that I've just been rather .. lost recently. When I found the new neighborhood coffee shop, I thought this would be the perfect thing to get me out into the world on a daily basis once more, especially since it's open all the time, but this has not been the case. But I am out today, which probably would not have happened if this place wasn't here, so that's good news at least.

But, as Kermit the frog would say, it isn't easy being green.

Anyway, that being said, I was sitting here at my coffee shop when a man asked me if I believe there is a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow. I laughed and said that I wished it was so, but I doubted it. So he reached into a bag and dropped a bunch of chocolate-filled gold coins onto the bench next to me and said, "I really like your rainbow socks."

Those funky extra-soft neon rainbow socks are something that I wear when I am feeling especially overwhelmed by life in general, so it is amusing and kinda sweet that someone else noticed them, since I think of them as my little secret.

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Its so easy to get caught in a rut and not to go out. I've been in that position myself many times. If you can overcome the initial inertia and do get out again, even just for small trips, you have won half the battle.

Do you notice any change in your moods when you get out? If I'm manic or depressed and I am hibernating (that's the term I coined for the times I stay holed-up in my apartment) I notice a day outside makes me feel better.

sometimes, i do feel better, happier when i get out, although other times, i feel upset and overwhelmed and can hardly wait to hide.

Yeah, I get that feeling too. I have it today, as a matter of fact. My preferred counters are

(1) to set up appointments or arrangements with people to go, talk, work, help out, do -- something. Since I won't break an arrangement, I will do it.

(2) to acknowledge my feeling, and be conscious of it -- as a feeling. Just one feeling among many, one that is with me now, and will go away; not something that I have to base my decisions on. Got that one from the idea of "mindfulness".

Typing them in, I am now reminded to put them into practice. Thank you! :-)

What a wonderful thing to carry around with you and give to others. What a nice person.

On the getting out and about thing, I'm really bad at that.
I pretend that it is the stress of work or whatever excuse I can come up with but sometimes it is just fear of rejection and/or loneliness I guess.

Weird I know as I live & work in foreign climes with some very interesting people.

It comes and goes, has come just now hopefully will go away again as I do normally enjoy it when I'm out and about.

Making appointments helps me, whatever they are formal or just writing down what I plan to do and then doing it.

I hope that you feel better soon.

By Chris' Wills (not verified) on 20 Feb 2008 #permalink