What is it about that person? You know the one... You can't explain it, but when they're in the room, no one else matters. You light up and feel more alive. Try to think of something clever to say... a joke, a story, anything that might invoke a smile. Attraction.
'They Always Do' is a track about this force of nature. A jazzy melody by singer/songwriter Heath Brandon on his new CD 'Stand Clear of the Closing Doors'. About sixteen years ago, Heath and I played percussion together in the Suffern Jr. High School orchestra. His voice was much squeakier back then and he didn't know it at the time (or maybe until this post), but I had crush on him. He was a year older and far better than me on drum set. I've always been a sucker for musicians... So what is attraction?
Biologists and psychologists say it all has something to do with pheromones--those chemical signals that could signify immune compatibility for offspring. Maybe. Cosmetic companies sure cash in on the concept. Or perhaps it's defined by the social norms and cultural expectations for cues we've been trained to pick up on. Or do we innately search for universal exhibitions of health and vitality like long shiny hair, voluptuous hips, or height? Still, these explanations don't account for the fleeting attraction to a passerby wearing the cologne of your first love, or the reason Norah Jones or that extra glass of pinot (or viagra pill for that matter) stirs up a different kind of drive. What is it that invokes desire?
The thing is, science hasn't got it all figured out yet. And I like that. Call me a romantic, but when there's something there, I'm not sure I want it measured and calculated. In fact, mystery is half the allure. And while my ephemeral preteen crush on Heath ended abruptly upon meeting a 9th grade soulful guitarist, I still do love his music. Readers will too. My favorite song on the album is the called 'I Can't Wait' about the very best kind of attraction... A head-over-heels-in-love desire to be with your partner:
More from Heath here.
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Mr. Brandon was a lucky lucky man for that short period when he was 13. Even though he didn't know it ;->
I like his stuff and am looking over his website. A good discovery of talent. Thanks
I think the pheromone story in humans is horribly overblown. We're visual creatures, our olfactory system is really poor relative to other mammals, and our vomeronasal organ doesn't do anything. There may be some subtle influence of pheromones, but I highly doubt that it's more significant than our visual input in terms of sensory stimulation that regulates attractiveness. Obviously, there's a huge cognitive component as well, but still, most of that information is generated by visual and auditory stimulation.
As sort of a snarky demonstration of that point--if pheromones played a significant role in our attraction and/or stimulation, then most porn and romantic media would be scratch and sniff!!
Pheromones can't be the full explanation, because humans can fall in love/lust based on a photograph, a voice on the radio, a well-written blog entry.
Heath's got a great voice. Would like to see him live sometime.
Daryl wrote:
Speaking of attractive bloggers, have to agree with John. I'm jealous of Heath just for playing drums with Sheril, let alone a preteen attraction.
Some commenters here really creep me out. Holy crap.
Good artist. Thanks.
If it's time for us science bloggers to talk about our high school heartthrobs, I have to put in a plug for my old friend Dr. Gian Gonzaga and his work on romantic compatibility. His NYT interview links to some of his original research on long-term compatibility and the cues of attraction. I don't think psychologists actually put that much credence in pheremones as much as behavior, communication & values. Though they all seem to agree there's something you can't quite quantify that makes that initial attraction happen, makes you give that second glance or linger over coffee.