"Grope Patrol Effective"

This is why you should read local weeklies. From the Back Bay Sun:

GROPE PATROL EFFECTIVE

Sgt. O'Connor of the MBTA Police gave a presentation on transit crime at local subway stops that highlighted the effectiveness of the city's current undercover operation aimed at deterring groping on the subway.

"Many more people are reporting incidents because of the patrol," said O'Connor. This past week, the patrol arrested a man on the Green Line when it was noticed that he did not appear to be going anywhere, simply riding back and forth between Kenmore and Park Street.

The plainclothes officers finally approached the man, who was acting suspicious and sitting with his hands in his pockets. As they approached, the man asked, "Are you the grope patrol?" it was subsequently found that there were outstanding warrants for the man, and he was arrested.

It's the Grope Patrol, suckas!

Actually, this is a really good thing, but it needs a better name...