Â
A press release about Snails on methamphetamines works for me.  The story is about memory. The jokes are about snails:
Â
Snail Joke #1
A turtle gets mugged by a gang of snails. Cop is interviewing the turtle afterwards, still at the scene. Turtle still flustered. Cop asks, "Just start at the beginning."
"I don't know," says the turtle. "It all happened so fast."
Â
Snail Joke #2
Guy opens his front door and grabs the paper off the porch. There's a snail on it. He gives a flick of the wrist, and the snail sails off the porch into the garden.
Three weeks later there's a knock at the door. Guy answers. It's the snail.
Snail says, "What was that all about?"
- Log in to post comments
More like this
I'm sitting at the computer typing, when the dog bumps up against my legs. I look down, and she's sniffing the floor around my feet intently.
"What are you doing down there?"
"I'm looking for steak!" she says, wagging her tail hopefully.
"I'm pretty certain that there's no steak down there," I say…
So, today I was on my way to the pharmacy to buy important medicine for my son. The medicine cost about 50 bucks, and I had a fifty dollar bill in my back pocket.
In my front pocket, I had a twenty.
Just before I walk into the pharmacy, this dude with a mask comes along and says, "I've got a gun…
The Bottleneck Years
by H.E. Taylor
Chapter 15
Table of Contents
Chapter 17
Chapter 16
Carman, Sept. 25, 2055
Matt had been on the west coast for two months. Jon was in Ottawa with the Senator. I was happy with Olivia. Our life was never dull. Doc Y, as Jim Yablonski was affectionately known around…
The Bottleneck Years
by H.E. Taylor
Chapter 40
Table of Contents
Chapter 42
Chapter 41
Theft and Meditation, June 27, 2056
I was between classes in mid-afternoon when Edie phoned.
"Luc. There are men in the shed stealing things."
"Call the police."
"I did. There's no answer."
"What?"
"I…
What goes "Wheeeee!"?
A snail riding on a turtle.
A Swiss arrives at the hospital with two broken arms. The doctor asks him: "Holy shit, what happened to you?"
"I slipped on a snail."
"Didn't you see it?"
"No, it came from behind."
This was just what I needed today. Excellent.