Scientific excuse for favorite snail jokes

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A press release about Snails on methamphetamines works for me.  The story is about memory. The jokes are about snails:

 

Snail Joke #1

A turtle gets mugged by a gang of snails. Cop is interviewing the turtle afterwards, still at the scene. Turtle still flustered. Cop asks, "Just start at the beginning."

"I don't know," says the turtle. "It all happened so fast."

 

Snail Joke #2

Guy opens his front door and grabs the paper off the porch. There's a snail on it. He gives a flick of the wrist, and the snail sails off the porch into the garden.

Three weeks later there's a knock at the door. Guy answers. It's the snail.

Snail says, "What was that all about?"

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