That's so sweet

Yes, let them pray. Pray, pray, pray!

As long as they're down on their knees talking to their imaginary friend(s), they won't be doing anything else.

Who are these mugs to question my creation of atheists?

If anybody's going to Beelzebub's B&B it won't be my chosen ones, the atheists.

You soul thief!

Why are you taking the souls that are rightfully god's?

Not to ruin the fun but I think Rev. Hipple and his website are satirical. Intentionally, that is. Doesn't anyone else get that impression?

That's the impression I got but frankly I can't tell anymore.

I'm wearing my T-shirt with the line from "Serenity": "Dear Buddha: Please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket." Just about as likely to be answered, I guess.

"And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell."
They sure don't have much confidence in the strength of their faith, their religion. They appear to fear (nice alliteration!) that mere exposure to rational thought will cause their kids to reject all the propaganda they've been filled with. Awww...

I definitely agree. Its a joke.

"Rev. Hipple and his website are satirical. Intentionally, that is. Doesn't anyone else get that impression?"

Of course they are. Did anyone see an address or a way to give money?

That P.Z. fell for it is hysterical.

That's the impression I got but frankly I can't tell anymore.

King Aardvark, I hear ya. I think religious satire is on life support at this point and maybe we should just kick out the plug.

"And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell."

Not a fan of Net Neutrality, I see. Figures. Christians are always in the pocket of Big Telecom.

But now I'm imagining a Peter Zebediah Meyers somewhere out there who is getting all sorts of unwarranted attention from the Big Man and wondering why.

Dear God, please find in Your great Heart warmth to share in the heart of PZ Meyers

Considering all the things they say about their god, I'm now picturing a sadistic, grinning, tiny bearded guy with a plasma torch ("great warmth") cutting away at PZ's left ventricle.

"so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell"

What are they trying to imply here? The inclusion of "impressionable bodies" is clearly an attempt to put an unrelated thought into the readers mind, perhaps hoping to leave it correlated with PZ's good name. Assuming they're real and assuming they can think that clearly or course.

"And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites"
God the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Hacker.

Doesn't anyone else get that impression?

No! Really?Next you'll try to tell me that Baptists for Brownback is satire, or that Betty Bowers isn't real.

This site has been difficult for my computer to visit lately. Is this happening for anyone else? What might be causing it?

I think it's funny that Sinbad doesn't get the joke.

He's probably a Baptist for Brownback. But not in on the joke.

What a tool.

First we learn PZ is an sports care driving elitist, then he kills kittens and now he steals souls from Jesus. It is just work, work, work for an atheist.

Wait... this was satire? How can you tell?

Hey, maybe the whole fundie evangelical thing is satire! What a great defense that would've been for Ted Haggard. "Of course I'm messing around with meth-dealing male prostitutes! What, you took that Jesus thing seriously?"

At last, a ray of hope for America!

Oops, sorry PZ, he misspelled your name. Looks like your blessing is probably going to get lost in the mail.

I'd be worried PZ -- it was you that reported praying for someone increased their odds of dying. This is an attempt to knock you off.

"And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell."

And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit the many websites where we Christians proclaim your Message of falacy and brainwashing so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under your spell. * FIXED *

If you're gonna pray for something, might as well pray you can break the greatest spell of them all.

That prayer is definitely satire.

OEJ

I'm going to say, as far as prayers go, that's a good one, but really, if people are going to pray for you, they should pray for more tangible things. Imagine a whole team of people praying for you to have a fridge full of your favorite beer in your basement guarded by Cerberus.

Now, if you wake up to find that, then there might be something to this whole prayer thing.

Isn't there a philosophical argument based around this concept?

If a christian prays in the woods and there's no-one there to hear it . . .?

Oh now come on PZ. You were suckered in to thinking the site was serious, and now it's obvious it isn't, you saying that your post about it was just entertainment? What do you think you are, a cartoonist??

;-)

PZ, I think he has a crush on you.

Oh now come on PZ. You were suckered in to thinking the site was serious, and now it's obvious it isn't, you saying that your post about it was just entertainment? What do you think you are, a cartoonist??

;-)

PZ is just saying that site is a real as the fires of Hell.

@ Sinbad -
"That P.Z. fell for it is hysterical."

Now I've seen it all - an Evangelical Christian making fun of PZ's credulity.

True religious zealotry is indistinguishable from satire.

I offer a prayer of my own: "Lord, please save me from your followers."

Heh, this Sinbad dufus is a real hoot, especially since he has announced on his blog that he's essentially here to troll. He's well over the three comment rule boundary, so y'all show him a good time now, OK?

"...[H]e has announced on his blog that he's essentially here to troll."

PZ (my favorite sycophant) -- You're conflating "trolling" with "fun." Do some research next time and you won't make the same silly mistake.

Y'know, we've been after Jesus for two thousand years to pick up his souls and put 'em away.

Now we're just making good on our threat that if he can't take care of his things, they're all going in the garbage.

O, Mr Great PZ,
I give my soul to thee.

(My wife gets the body, though)

Dude . . . in that prayer there are some great ideas for heavy metal band and album names . Rock and roll for Satan, baby! I propose that some regular readers start a metal band called Hellfire of the Beast. The first album will be Dark Message!

Sinbad, that we tagged you an idiot before your 3rd trolltastic post proves just how deluded and ready for a smack down you are.

My only purpose is do make people aware that Rep. Tom Tancredo represents not only a more than viable alternative to Sen. Sam Brownback, but is, in fact, Chosen by God to lead this great republic back to sanity and righteousness and protect us from the cancer of other cultures.

I really don't know much about things you discuss on this interweb except what God reveals to me through prayer and scripture or scientists who speak at my church, and so I will not make comments on this interweb so that you can judge me for my purity of purpose. I do not wish to disrupt your community further and apologize and ask for your forgiveness if I have offended any of you.

My only intention was to open your hearts to Rep. Tom Tancredo, as straight of a talking politician as you will ever find and MUCH better than Sen. Sam Brownback.

Dear God of Enduring Love, please teach those wacky fundies to spell "Myers".

Folks, if you are not yet 100% convinced these sites are satirical, I give you the kitten story from yesterday.

That was funny.

These three (Blogs 4 Brownback, Baptists for Brownback, and one PZ mentions here) are all working together, and I've never seen a satirical blog before. As noted before, I think the idea of a satirical blog (satiriblog?) is comedy gold.

Honestly, if you can't figure out a way to make fun of Sam Brownback, then just how good is your sense of humor anyway??

They're pretending to believe the earth is flat, because the Bible really is pretty clear on that point. But, heh, they don't really think it's flat.

TD Gaines-Crockett claims to be a "Christian, Republican, Biblical Authoritarian"...

And B4B gets email, too.

"Do some research next time and you won't make the same silly mistake."

Did you get this from the BlogWarBot program?

Sinbad, I believe you're the one with a conflation problem. You might consider trolling fun (after all, many do), but that doesn't mean it's not trolling. They're really not mutually exclusive. If you're going to troll, own the label.

Now that that's out of the way, what is your point exactly? I see nothing much but pointing and laughing at something/someone you've not actually comprehended, thereby making yourself look the ass, not the one you're pointing at.

Sinbad: I'm surprised by your 'fun' here given your (eventually) cogent commentary on other threads....

RE: Hipple: I.feel.used. Obviously a parody.

PZ: Can a *parody* of a fundie be banned for being *too real*?

Yeah, what Aaron said (#20): Since PZ's name was misspelled (unless they were actually praying for someone named "PZ Meyers"), the prayers will go astray and there'll be no blessing for the atheist from Morris. How sad that an errant "e" could cost PZ his miraculous salvation!

"[T]hat we tagged you an idiot before your 3rd trolltastic post proves just how deluded and ready for a smack down you are."

I quake in terror. Is the ad hominem always in season for you, Stevie, or do you actually have a substantive point?

"Sinbad, I believe you're the one with a conflation problem."

It's possible. I'm often wrong (if rarely in doubt, suggesting I fit in here better than many seem to think).

"You might consider trolling fun (after all, many do), but that doesn't mean it's not trolling. They're really not mutually exclusive. If you're going to troll, own the label."

Except my blog link is to entirely different set of comments wherein my post is decidedly substantive.

"Now that that's out of the way, what is your point exactly? I see nothing much but pointing and laughing at something/someone you've not actually comprehended, thereby making yourself look the ass, not the one you're pointing at."

My pointing out PZ's silly mistake (if he were in on the joke he would hardly have appended his comment to the "Rev. Hipple" quote, unless he were extremely comedically challenged, a possibility I should perhaps have given more weight) is hardly trolling.

"Sinbad: I'm surprised by your 'fun' here given your (eventually) cogent commentary on other threads...."

Prigs need a poke now and again and I'm simply playing the game by what are obviously the house rules. I'm more than willing to carry on a thoughtful discussion with anyone wishing to (as the thread to which you allude amply demonstrates).

Why do prayers always require so many capitalized letters? Is a deity really more apt to answer the prayers of Those Who Capitalize than Those Who Do Not Capitalize? What if you just CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING - they will your prayers have a better chance of affecting the outcome?

Hey, thanks for that prayer. It helped me find Jesus.

He fell between the seat cushions of my couch.

Now what should I do with Him?

Richard
http://lifewithoutfaith.com/

If satire dies, do we get to keep irony? I like irony.

it is easy to understand why good Christians would pray for the Absolute Damnation of his soul to an eternity in the Hellfire of the Beast.

seriously, what version of the new testament are these clowns reading? the "editted for jesus content" version?

The darkness of his Soul must cause you at least as much pain as do the souls of Muslims and Jews.

i don't know if there's much i can say about this, other than to point it out again -- they SAID this?

Anyone else remember Rod and Todd's favourite video game in the Simpsons? I forget what it was called, but you had to fire your 'converta-gun' at heretics and if your aim was true, they instantly became devout christians. (If you only grazed them, they became Unitarians.)

Well guess what, people of faith saw that episode too and thought "what a marvelous idea".

Now imagine the following scenario:
Tancredo/Brownback/whoever on the eve of the primary says to his flunkey, "We're down in the polls and its crunchtime. I need my next speech to be a bigoted screech against X group". Said flunkey googles web and finds stuff on baptists4brownback, or whatever and immediately plagiarizes it for speech. Tancredo/Brownback uses it to rouse the faithful and goes on to win the Primary and then the Election.

Man will the joke be on you then, Mrs. TDGC and co.

PS: Your sites still left me completely ROTFLMAO. Ditto for Mr. Neck and General de Jesus. I'm just scared that we'll all die of Irony Overload. ;)

Stagyar - the game was "Bible Blaster", IIRC.

Well either:

1. PZ failed to realise this was satire, then pretended he knew all along (#15), or;

2. he knew it was satire that was effectively supporting him, and wanted us all to admire the praise.

I very much doubt that this came from someone who was in on the joke: I am always so pleased to see my opponents appeal to the impotency of a non-existent being through the ineffectual medium of talking to themselves. But either way, it is kinda lame.

I dig the good stuff here, and it's one of only 3 blogs I read regularly, but let's not get all fanboi. PZ 'aint infallible.

Though the humor abounds in this prayer for your soul, I actually don't think there is much distinction between your belief system and that of the author of the prayer.

You both are 100% convinced of your own analysis of existence, neither one leaving room for much else. There have been many postings on here that hint to your zero tolerance attitude toward ideas or beliefs contrary to your own. I am not saying that one shouldn't question the science behind several of the "out there" claims one finds these days, but you seem to judge without doing your homework. Don't you see how this is exactly the same approach employed by those who subscribe to a God paradigm as indicated in that prayer above.

For instance, your past proclamations on non reductionist mind/brain theories complete ridicule existing and ongoing research into consciousness, though you yourself have never delved deep into the protocol and authenticity supporting such research. You are just shooting from the hip and repeating the pre-formatted, intellectual community reaction.

Fact is, you are so giddy over fMRI and other neuro-correlative data, you fail to acknowledge any other potentially viable models out there to explain the spiritual and metaphysical experiences reported by millions. In essence, you are a fundamentalist, just like the extreme religious, except that your religion is science.

Look, I am all for science, the scientific method, rigorous experimentation and skeptical analysis. What I don't applaud is the type of smug arrogance that makes a scientist with a blog think he knows it all.

Then again, you are just preaching to the choir here.

Several years back I was the recipient of religious harassment at work from someone who felt it was their job to pray for my soul.

Aside from the HR related process around it all, it got me thinking whether you could charge someone with assault if they decided to pray for your soul.

If I have a soul, which is up for debate, it's mine, no one else's, and no one else has a right to touch it, steal it, pray for it, etc. So is it possible for me to charge someone with assault on my soul if they decided to "pray for" or "save" it?

It would certainly be an interesting test of church/state. Maybe I'll write my own blog about this one if I can formulate more than a passing thought on it.

Good grief. How in the world will it ever be possible to tell a good candidate from a bad candidate when their supporters are so busy lying, distorting and mulching the facts surrounding each other.

This spoof (again) seems pretty obvious, but it says bad things to me about the candidate that these people actually support. I do find the spoofing funny, admittedly, but I think it says a lot about the true moral integrity of the party doing the smearing. If the candidate is willing to lie, or by omission, allow lies to stand which are advantageous to their position, what can we expect from him/her in the public office he/she is competing to win? Why not lie there also? It sets a hideous precedent.

People should not be surprised at all that their candidates go on to lie, cheat, steal and start wars once elected to office. Afterall, that's how most of them run their election campaigns.

*sigh* What a state of affairs. Somebody wake me up when a candidate appears who is not either delusional to the point of believing their own lies or psychopathic to the point of not caring what lies they've told.

As long as they're down on their knees talking to their imaginary friend(s), they won't be doing anything else.

Unless they're Ted Haggard, Florida legislators, or Young Republicans. All of whom can apparently multitask.

Then again, you are just preaching to the choir here.

No, no. "You're trying to ban the existence of choirs here." See? Still sanctimonious, and gets in an additional deliberate distortion of the anti-religious angle.

Funny how absolutely chock full of self-righteousness a complaint about "smug arrogance" can be, isn't it? Oh, wait, by "funny" I mean "clichéd."

NickM: Thanks.
I just remember the scene - a fundie muslim jihadist is crossing the street when Rod (or Todd) shoots him. Early Pacman/Space Commander type bleep-bleep-bleep sounds emanate from a white cloud and when the cloud clears, a fundie christian complete with halo on head is seen in his place.

I thought 'twas one of the most hilarious things I had seen. Guess it seems slightly less (but nevertheless still) funny now.

I don't have time to address the whole ball of earwax (I'm goofing off at work), but this ridiculous bit reached out and grabbed me:

...you fail to acknowledge any other potentially viable models out there...

What? We don't have to acknowledge potentially viable "models." We only have to acknowledge the demonstrably viable ones. Since you're so science-tolerant and all, you know there's a name for such things, and they're called "theories." Potentially viable explanations (not "models") are called "hypotheses." I am stating a hypothesis when I say something like, "I bet he posts such stupid, inane excrement because his parents dropped him on his head on the way home from the hospital after his birth." A theory is when I can support it by evidence, such as the post in question.

SmellyTerror:
3. Knew it was satire all along, and was playing along.

Yeah, ok, that's possible. But you gotta lrn2satire, ok?

The correct, satirical response is counter-satire. Ham it up with fundamental errors you can point to to show you were satirisin', too. Blast them for failing to have faith in the Ungod, and state your aim to have the religious confined to re-education facilities, where reason shall be mandatory! Mis-spell your own name or basic biological terms. Show some kind of god complex. Start a cult.

If your answer looks fully justified for a real religious wacko, the exact sort of thing you'd write to any god botherer, it looks like you've missed the joke.

"Preaching to the choir"?!? Gee, and here I thought that Dr. Meyers promised I could do a solo. I was even going to sing The Immigrant Song to commemorate the first preseason game tonite. :( Hey, come on, I sing good. Really. You should hear me sing Blinded By Science. :) :)

The reason the Christian god never answers these prayers is that these so-called Christians live in disobedience to their Lord. When they make themselves eunuchs (Mt 19:12)for the kingdom, give their wordly possessions to the poor (Mt 19:24) then maybe their god will answer.

They should follow that up with praying in tongues, drinking cyanide and handling snakes(Mk 16:17-18). Their phony faith will surely land them in the lake of fire! Frankly Jesus must be really p....d that they have so little biblical faith.

Jesus Christ people! You have GOT to start paying more attention to Dr. Dr. Dembksi and his Uncommonly Dense blog. If you did, you would instantly realize that this was all Street Theater(TM)!

"Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities." - Oscar Wilde

And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization...

Too bad, I, a teenager, just started visiting Pharyngula on a daily basis recently. Maybe God helped me find this site. =D

"Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities." - Oscar Wilde

except when the target is demonstrably not a genius in which case it's simply ridicule of a deluded fuckwit.

Geez, how many nubile young virgins do I have to defile before I get prayed for? Can a brother get a homily up in here?

And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell.

The best part. But why stop with children and teenagers? Why not pray to protect all the sinners of the world? Or, even better -- as long as they're seeking divine intervention, why not just have Him strike down all of PZ Myers' computers with, say, a perpetually re-installing intelligently designed computer virus? Less work to muck with one computer than millions, and surely a greater cost/benefit ratio for the deity.

Say, the satire was subtle until I got to this post:

Today's Scripture and A Quick Prayer.

That was just posted this morning, and just a little too obvious.

Gotta watch out for that "evil seculariza-shun". You might doubt that the "holy king james version" bible was actually god-inerrant. After all the English King James I is actually the "thirteenth apostle"! Those that doubt! You shall dwell in everlasting err... bad things! Yah thats it! You just need the Holey Spurrit to really understand what the "real bible" is.

I just post questions on the inerrancy of the English translations of the so-called Bible on Yahoo Answers. The fundies just came up with some answers that I need some Holey Spurrit just find out the true meaning of the Bible. I asked why there was so many different sects, they simply haven't replied yet.

A while back I left a comment on the Brownback site. Today I read some of the comments at the Tancredo site and found that they already had the nom de plume that I had used at Brownback. Mystery solved.

http://www.holyobserver.com/detail.php?isu=v01i08&art=caps

THO Guide to Christian Capitalization:
#1 Capitalize all personal pronouns ("He" and "His," for example). This is the most basic rule of Christian capitalization. Almost every Christian knows enough to capitalize these pronouns, but some shameful people neglect it, and we are sorry to report that they may be taking their cue from their own BIBLE!

#2 Capitalize other, less common pronouns. These include relative pronouns such as "Who" and "Which" as well as any other pronoun that might refer to God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Remember, if a word refers to God, it must be capitalized!

...

#8 As a general rule, when in doubt, Capitalize! Writing about God is serious business, and it would be better to capitalize a word that does not refer to God than to miss out on blessings by not capitalizing.

... and it would be better to capitalize a word that does not refer to God than to miss out on blessings by not capitalizing.

LoRL. Holey Pascal's Wager! Why not captialize everything then? Who knows which word god might be hiding inside.