I'd really like to win an iPod Touch

This is terribly crass of me, I know, but I'd love to win a free iPod Touch or iPod Shuffle. All I have to do is get the most people to click through the link posted below, and if I'm one of the top 3 promoters, I win! I get all these readers here, so I figure I might as well use you for personal gain.

Here's the link. Come back and click on it every day!

Creation Minute is an exciting series hosted by Eric Hovind that explores the creation worldview using cutting-edge visual effects and digital technology. Each episode challenges the evolution theory and gives evidence of the Bible's historical and scientific accuracy.

Well, as you can guess, I'm not really after the gadget itself…I'm more interested in seeing Eric Hovind compelled to send it to me. Heh heh heh.

(Of course, given his family's criminal tendencies, and their adherence to Christian immorality, there is a good chance that even if I get the most click-throughs, I won't win.)

More like this

While I'm off at meetings, you could be voting to help me win Eric Hovind's iPod Touch. All you have to do is CLICK ON THIS LINK. Note that it has to be that link — it's got an imbedded code in it to let the tabulators know that the incoming click comes from me, PZ Myers, so that the Hovind crew…
You all remember that I'm trying to win an iPod Touch from Eric Hovind, right? You're supposed to click on this link every day! (The way it works is that every click through to the silly creationist site gets counted as coming from me, and that click adds a vote to my tally. The top referrers get a…
I love the way Web works! So, I was on FriendFeed earlier today and I saw through this link there that Paul Jones posted a note on Pownce (on which I am registered but never check) about this article in Raleigh N&O: An iPod Touch for each student? A Chapel Hill middle school could become the…
This is "a new website that brings together images and viewpoints to create insights into science and culture." Sounds like Seed, no? It's what Scienceblogs is/are about. This page, on the dilemma of science in the public -- the "fine line between intellectualism and elitism" -- is really…

From the website:

How Big is Big?

The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?

Your god is my god's stool. So there.

It would probably cost you less to buy a new iPod (without creationist videos) than to have a professional exorcist wipe that one clean.

I suddenly feel so...dirty.

Some days PZ, you are positively evil. I'll hit it with every browser every day.

By Nerd of Redhead, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Oooh yes. Anything to further the noble pursuit of childish amusement!

No way.

By Rorschach (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Wow. The creation minute on Isiah 66:1. The Earth is god's footstool really misses the point. Wow we live in this big universe but it's all about us. Biblical glasses blocking out the truth for 6000 years, give or take a few billion.

well PZ you fill my head with facts i might as well try fill your head with music!

good luck

By Porco Dio (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

So God is big enough to use Earth as a footstool, but he's really, really tiny if you put him next to anything bigger than the sun--which is most of the other objects mentioned in the video. After that, God pretty much disappears when compared to galaxies, galactic clusters, or pretty much anything photographed by the Hubble.

By mollywriter (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

But PZ, you do realize that the ipod comes "filled with creation videos". Be sure to restore that baby back to it's factory settings.

By Jonathan Christian (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Oh, maybe Kent shouldn't put his ears next to Footstool Earth.

Not sure if I want to give that website any hits. Does it have ads? Our clicking could give them more money than the ipod is worth.

So sizewise its:
death star < christian god << tengen toppa gurren lagann

By CrimsonFace (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

mxh,

While that probably is the point, they may also just be trolling for new email contacts from the people that sign up for the contest, who can then be harrassed for donations. It's probably both, to be honest.

Oooooo..... purty computer graphics!

I wonder if creationist videos make much money. They've gotta be cheap to create: TRON had better CGI. I figured they're even easier to write, as all you have to do is spout some nonsense about "ultimate purpose," and "obvious design" and "god's eternal flatulence." I even have an hypothesis: the more nonsense, and the more it mentions the "absurdity of the materialistic atheist worldview," the more popular it'll be.

I think I haves me a new get-rich-quick scheme!

By nigelTheBold (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win.

I can't say what it is yet, though -- I don't want to give them more incentive to arbitrarily disqualify me.

If you do get one, raffle it here, and donate all money to a charity. Just thoughts.

PZ on the radio today! I think it starts at 9 am PST.

http://www.ijpr.org/ProgramGuide.asp?StationID=3

Today on the program:

Superstition, pseudoscience, and blind spirituality -- P.Z. Myers says these are the ills running rampant in our society. Myers, a blogger and biologist at the University of Minnesota-Morris, writes about science and snipes at political reactions to science on his website called "Pharyngula." We talk with Myers about evolution in schools, religion in science, and life as a confirmed atheist.

By CalGeorge (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Don't just click on it once per day, folks! They aren't doing any checking for repeat clicks that I can tell, so when you click, click it a bunch of times!

By maddogdelta (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win.

I can't say what it is yet, though -- I don't want to give them more incentive to arbitrarily disqualify me.

Assuming you best me, I hope it has to do with two things.

Porn and squid.

With a soundtrack by Frank Zappa.

Nich @ 22: That's a cool idea! I bet you could get a decent donation amount for auctioning it. Hope you win. I clicked.

not that i expected logical connection, there doesn't seem to be any narrative, emotional, metaphorical, mythological, cognitive, or any other sense here?

lets see: ok, here's the earth. It's about as big as god's feet. Other planets are WAY bigger than that, i.e. much bigger than god.

so what's the point?

The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?

Err, if God is using the earth for his footstool, isn't that like, crushing stuff? Also, it's rather humiliating. A "floor boy" was a slave whose job was to serve as a footstool, back in the glory days of the South. I'm certainly not willing to play that role, although it apparently makes these creationists feel they're in their proper place.

By cervantes (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Ah, looks like PZ has moved on from sabotaging internet polls - he's now sabotaging internet competitions! I really hope he wins this!

How can we compete with computer graphics like that!

We may as well give up now.

As a former (and, sadly, all too recent) xtian who's so grateful to have resources like Pharyngula to ward off susceptibility to religious superstition, I just opened four browsers for clicking.

(And it would have been five except that Minefield won't open unless I close Firefox first.)

I don't think round objects make good footstools. Although it does nicely show what their god really thinks of them.

By Richard Eis (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Will PZ sell it and give the money to the Richard Dawkins Foundation?

(Writing as if PZ won't read it feels nicely wrong).

By ColonelFazackerly (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Err, if God is using the earth for his footstool, isn't that like, crushing stuff?

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,
He is wisdom to the mighty, He is succour to the brave,
And the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,
Our God is marching on.

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,
He is wisdom to the mighty, He is succour to the brave,
And the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,
Our God is marching on.

Walton's favorite song.

No I'm not kidding.

What’s truly amazing about that Creation Minute video is that all that information on size-comparison of solar bodies was derived from an independent line of Christian research that entailed nothing more than praying to God for answers and then praising Jesus.

Really!!

By RamblinDude (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

The Earth is God's footstool? I guess that explains the funny smell in my backyard...

By pdferguson (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

If the Earth is God's footstool... is God actually pretty small compared with say Arcturus or does He just have disproportionally small feet?

By dertfgyhuiko (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Planets are big, stars bigger. Thus, god.

Really, is it any worse than ID's "life is really complex, thus god"?

The only thing that's amazing is that a biochemist like Behe is at the bottom no more sophisticated than a hick like Hovind.

Glen D
http://tinyurl.com/6mb592

I don't think round objects make good footstools. Although it does nicely show what their god really thinks of them.

God is working on His core.

My god is teabaggin' your god while he's got his feet up on Earth.

You'd better come up with a good stunt PZ, Big Bad Bill has forgotten about you. *snicker* He's pissed at Ron Howard now.

By Patricia, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

You'd better come up with a good stunt PZ, Big Bad Bill has forgotten about you. *snicker* He's pissed at Ron Howard now.

Because of the new Tom Hanks movie?

I guess that doesn't surprise me even a little bit.

does He just have disproportionally small feet?

With other portions of the anatomy sized to match.

By Randomfactor (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

It's a trivial task to write a Python script to "click" the link as many times as you like...

... but that would be dishonest *whistles innocently*

Not surprisingly, creationminute does not have anything about black holes.

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win.

I can't say what it is yet, though -- I don't want to give them more incentive to arbitrarily disqualify me.

OMG! You're going to drive a nail through it, along with a Zune and a vinyl record, throw it all into the trash, and post pictures of it! Oh, the humanity!

By Richard Smith (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

"does He just have disproportionally small feet?

With other portions of the anatomy sized to match."

No that portion in relation to his body is microscopic. How else do you impregnate young middle-eastern virgins without tearing them to shreds.

Does it really not care about multiple clicks? Because we have ways of clicking many times if that is so.

Hmmm... actually the video was quite enjoyable and I thought it was very well done -- except for the last 5 seconds or so, which completely went against the point that was (perhaps unintentionally) being made. We are but a dust speck in the vastness of the universe.

By FirstTimeCaller (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

AntiVir says the site contains the JS/Dldr.agent.agr.1 Virus.
Be careful

I was just talking with a co-worker about this. Super X-ian sties and fundie sites seem to have the most amazing amount of viruses. Lots of them. You'd think it's just the porn sites, but no. Not at all.

So if the earth is god's footstool. Take into account that the footstool in my house is about 1/6th my height and the result is that god is 76537.2 miles tall... making him 5.06x10^-5 times the height of VV Cephei. Pretty small god if you ask me.

By HumanisticJones (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

The archives contain the future posts? Ok, maybe they don't understand evolution too good, but they certainly don't understand web usability.

Eric really doesn't have the presence that his old man has.
Kent could tell you that the Earth is flat and have everyone believe it. However, great visuals but compared to Sagan's pale blue dot I thought they had the Earth coming off a tad too big.

By bunnycatch3r (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I have decloaked to do your nefarious bidding. Good Luck.

By mostlywater (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I'll support this only if you make a video of you deleting all the creationist videos off the ipod then show you replacing it with pro evolution videos.

By Furious_Six_Cl… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Damn those production values ain't half bad.

By Hauntedchippy (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,
He is wisdom to the mighty, He is succour to the brave,
And the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,
Our God is marching on.

It's some weird variation on "Solidarity Forever" right?

That's a well designed website! Kind of makes me sick that a legitimate web designer would stoop to designing that for them but whatever pays the bills I guess.

The video makes a good point, but one that science has been making for ages. Why do fundies steal our good ideas, do they not have any good ideas of their own?*

*Note to fundies, that was sarcastic.

By Peterd102 (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I'm sorry. I think I'm lost.

Is this the website devoted to iMacros? The Firefox Macro extension?

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/3863

You know the one where you can record inputs into a browser and the set it to automatically perform the same task over and over again? It's the same extension that internet pranksters used to get Rick Astly MTV's Artist of the Millennium award.

If not, I'm terribly sorry for wasting your time.

The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?

That's God's mysterious plan for us? To have us smell his stinky feet?!

I watched that video.

WOW! It totally shattered my atheist views!
So, the universe is REALLY REALLY big?
WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN?
Where can I get baptized and turn in my 10% tithe?

(but let's be honest: technically, it WAS nicely done! Maybe next time he'll actually have a POINT?)

I strongly suspect that the winner will be the person who is clearly not a non-creationist who generates the most traffic (and that is not assuming he just does not just send it to a buddy).

I just watched the video and my first reaction besides "I knew this by the third grade at the absolute latest" is that I don't think that the Earth is big enough to be a "footstool" anyways. I might as well toss a small fragment of a small grain of sand in front of my chair and call it a footstool. And of course, the very techniques that tell us the sizes of those stars make believing in a young universe absurd.

Well at least Mr. Hovind is not being a pathetic as someone else I once saw. Some years back, I was in a university football stadium and some idiot was telling a group of young kids that as awesome as the stadium was, it was nothing compared to God. I kid you not.

PZ -- you are NOT evil.
You are funny and charming!

Personally, I think the worst thing that could happen to a man is that he becomes boring.

PZ -- you are NOT boring!

I really want PZ to win the iPod touch, too. Mostly because it's stuffed with creationist videos. I'd love to see a "2 Girls 1 Cup" style reaction video from PZ watching these nonsensical movies. Who's with me?

By Scooty Puff, Jr. (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

According to Eric Hovind the earth is god's footstool. Wow! Who knew.

The contest mentions the prize will go to the "...visitor who logs the most unique clicks", so it's possible all the multiple clicking is for naught. Not sure about different browsers - depends on how they determine uniqueness. Don't expect it to be logical, though.

What I love about that video is the way he is gleefully making exactly the opposite point of the one he intends.

"How big is big?"

Turns out to be not all that big, actually.

RBDC - Yes, it's over Angels & Demons.

PZ just said he's fairly outspoken... ha! Ha!

By Patricia, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

All I could think of when watching the video was...

"Space is big - really big - you just won't believe how vastly, hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. You may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space."

I'll do my part.

(click, click, click...while laughing hysterically)

Gaming the system again, PZ?

(click, click, click...)

By Ranger_Rick (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

from "Physics Show That Six Day Creation is Possible":

As the universe expanded, there was a point at which time was moving very rapidly at the outer edge and essentially stopped near the center. At this point in the expansion of the universe, only days were passing near the center, while billions of years were passing in the heavens. This is the inevitable conclusion based on our current knowledge of physics...

Which is the exact opposite of how time dialation works. We should see very little time passing for those distant, fast moving galaxies. Sheesh, if you're going to be a creationist, don't try to justify it with science, it just doesn't work and you'll look even more stupid.

I get all these readers here, so I figure I might as well use you for personal gain.

Don't you already get paid by the viewing or the comment or something?

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win.

Nail it to a cracker and a copy of the Koran and toss them all in the trash?

I suppose that Hovind would use the argument that god can alter his size any way he wants, essentially getting to how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

RBDC - Yes, it's over Angels & Demons.

And he's still pissed about The DaVinci Code. I am too, but only because Howard somehow took a fast paced book and turned it into a leaden snoozefest of a movie. Hope he doesn't do the same to A&D. [Neither were great books, but they were a fun ride]

PZ could upload the Cracker Desecration video. That should crease the creos.

There are no ads--click away!

If you do get one, raffle it here, and donate all money to a charity.

That's an excellent idea. The charity should be Richard Dawkins's foundation.

I was just talking with a co-worker about this. Super X-ian sties and fundie sites seem to have the most amazing amount of viruses. Lots of them. You'd think it's just the porn sites, but no. Not at all.

Well we know xtians are opposed to using protection...

All those special effects to promote primitive beliefs. Nice.

By Citizen of the… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I vote you nail the ipod touch to a cross, with a eucharist over it's screen and a yamaka nailed on top of the cross. Then, impale a bacon-wrapped Koran with the aforementioned cross. Then, douse the whole thing with sacramental wine and light it on fire, only to put out the fire with a steady stream of atheist urine. Finally, post to youtube, and title the video "A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Mullah Prove that God Exists".

Sit back and enjoy the flame wars. Link us when done, plz.

By Ahnald Brownsh… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

or better title: "Eric Hovind gives P.Z. Myers a gift..."

By Ahnald Brownsh… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

RBDC - Yes, it's over Angels & Demons.
The story about a macroscopic quantity of antimatter being stolen from CERN in an ordinary box?
I? agree? with? Bill Donahue?

douse the whole thing with sacramental wine and light it on fire,

I'm not sure wine, sacramental or otherwise, has enough alcohol in it to ignite. You might want to spike it with vodka or lab alcohol or something.

I wondered that too, Dianne...but there's only one way to find out.

Oooorrrrr we could put our creation in a manger made of straw and wood, and light the straw on fire while singing "Joy to the World."

By Ahnald Brownsh… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

This offer is coming from the same family with that fraudulent million dollar prize. Both of the parents are in prison for tax fraud. There is precisely ZERO chance that this iPod actually exists.

By Bueller_007 (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

That link was worth clicking on even without the prospect of Hovind having to award PZ a prize.

The "God's footstool" line is a classic!

Donahue has his objections posted on the Catholic League web site.

Unfortunately he does catch Ron Howard getting his historical dates wrong.

By Patricia, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I'm told, in child psychology, that the parents have very little influence on personality beyond sharing genetic traits. Influence comes from peers and environment. So, I guess I'm wondering if the dishonesty and stupidity is genetic or if the Hovind family keeps company with the dishonest and stupid... or both. In any event, let us hope the Hovind clan doesn't spread very much seed.

By Anonymous (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

That's God's mysterious plan for us? To have us smell his stinky feet?!

That explains New Jersey

By Gruesome Rob (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win

Sign the ipod itouch. Raffle it off. It will be enormously desirable to your fans, as a symbol of our victory over Hovind. Then donate the proceeds to a deserving charity.

If one accepts that the Earth is God's footstool, a number of questions immediately spring to mind:

1. Why, exactly, does God have feet? It seems to me that some kind of magical cosmic being would have no particular use for feet. Gods, I thought, are supposed to float. Does God get "deity's foot"?

2. On what would those feet tread in the empty vacuum of space? One would expect to find God's footprints everywhere. In fact, the existence of God's feet should be a testable claim based on what we know of feet.

3. What is God's chair? Even the Bible talks about God's throne. If the Earth is his footstool, where and what is the chair? That God needs to sit implies that God, perhaps, has an arse. If he has an arse, does he emanate, umm, "Divine Wind"? That puts a whole new spin on "kamikaze" don't you think?

4. If the Earth is a footstool, why does it move around in space? I'd be pretty pissed off if, every time I came home, my living room furniture had moved around all by itself. They made a movie that sort of had self-moving furniture, and it was creepy. If the Earth was MY footstool, I'd be fixing that orbital crap straight away. Maybe only part of the Earth is a footstool? The Ottoman Empire stands out as a likely candidate.

5. If the Earth is a footstool, what is the moon? Perhaps some sort of moving beer holder? Cruithne is that annoying little fly that you can never quite swat.

Of course the ipod exists..... It's orbiting with the teapot.
So (an averagely proportioned) God is less than half the earth/moon distance tall? Kinda tiny compared to almost anything astronomical.

Ouch, I did it. I became a fan of their facebook page and commented on their discussion site. *grabs chips and beer*

By Jochen Bedersdorfer (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Here's a similar video showing the earth compared to other objects in the universe. It goes a bit further than Hovind's, but his audience probably doesn't have a long enough attention span for 2.5 minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRU43nbVaz8

1. Why, exactly, does God have feet? It seems to me that some kind of magical cosmic being would have no particular use for feet. Gods, I thought, are supposed to float. Does God get "deity's foot"?

I followed Mollywriter's link at #14. Judging by the photos, for Earth to be a comfy size as a footstool, God would have to be about the same size as Uranus. Hur hur...

This offer is coming from the same family with that fraudulent million dollar prize. Both of the parents are in prison for tax fraud. There is precisely ZERO chance that this iPod actually exists.

I think Bueller here nails it.

If there isn't a disclaimer on that site about the "contest" I wouldn't be surprised if there will be soon.

Even without a disclaimer of some sort I doubt there is an ipod.

If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win.

Before you trash it, check out the content. I bet if you can play any of it backwards, there's a message from the devil :}

Yeah, that bit with "The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?" is amusing.

So, let's work this out rationally.

Let's say God is the cosmic equivalent of 6'0" (a very patriarchal height), or 72". For him, a footstool should be about 18" tall. So, with a simple ratio, using the earth's diameter as height (equatorial, to be generous, at 7,926 miles), we get God's height at 31,704 miles.

Now, for the sake of argument, let's say my god is Apollo. The sun is his chariot, and judging by most pictures of chariots I've seem, I'd say the chariot would be about half the height of the man riding in it. The diameter of the sun is 865,000 miles. That means my god, Apollo, is 1,730,000 miles tall.

How do you say "PWNED" in Greek?

"Each episode challenges the evolution theory and gives evidence of the Bible's historical and scientific accuracy."

I must have missed that part of the minute. And if the earth is so small doesn't that mean God's really small too?

Clicked. Good luck! But aren't you slightly concerned with giving the Hovind's your address? I would be.

Michelle #108,
Ah! You must be one of those sophisticated theologians I keep hearing about.

By Emmet, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

As my husband is in the IT business, we have two PCs and three laptops in the house. If I were to sign on to each, in both mozilla and the other one, can I get ten clicks a day for PZ?

Each episode challenges the evolution theory and gives evidence of the Bible's historical and scientific accuracy.

Did anyone else notice that disclaimer?

How, exactly, does God's footstool have any bearing on the ToE?

I clicked. If you get the Ipod, I expect a detailed review of each video on the thing.

I also watched the video there. He quite accurately describes the size of the Earth, in relation to the other planets, the Sun, and to other supper massive stars.

Then comes the silly quote about footstools and thrones, meh.

My question, how does he accept that astronomers can measure the size of distant stars, but not accept the measured age of those stars?

The cognitive dissonance is painful to watch.

By Revyloution (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Oh Sherry, I just noticed your comment above mine. You probably have a router in your home that has its own IP address. When you log onto a website with any computer connected to a router, the computers at the other end only recognize the router IP address, not the individual addresses assigned to the individual machines in your home.

If you took the laptops to local free access points around town, and logged on there, then you could vote from any of those IP addresses.

That is, unless they have a cookie authentication program. If thats the case, then you can game the system by flushing your cookies.

By Revyloution (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Ok, Hovind: Can God make multiverses so infinite in number (aleph-omega universes) that he can't fill them with his immanence?

Thank you Revyloution. I'm off to the coffee shop with three laptops! He he he.

Is the footstool on the back of an elephant, which stands on the back of a gigantic turtle? Or is it footstools all the way down?

By DiscoveredJoys (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Let me guess - if you win, are you giving it to Kwok?

By Hockey Bob (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Michelle explaining something rationally...

How do you say Idiot in Greek?

By Patricia, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

(Pointing at tiny, tiny Earth) "That's the Earth. Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it?"

Oh, why, yes, Mr. Hovind, it shows how insignificant we are to the Universe; that we can't be the sole focus of the Creator of said Universe. You seem to have a very sensible head on your shoulders; I guess you inherited it from your mother. Oh, please, continue....

"Which is why God says in Isaiah...."

Oh, fuck you.

Seriously, the jackass is standing on a green screen set using technology created through science, not prayer, to point out the massive insignificance of Earth compared to planets and stars that weren't even known to be orbs to the ancient nomads who wrote his precious snot-rag of a book and this all still proves his precious snot-rag of a book is the inspired Word of the Creator of the Universe?!

It's like he took a paragraph from Carl Sagan (stripped of all writing genius), and then tacked on "therefore: God" to the end of it.

Seriously, the jackass is standing on a green screen set using technology created through science, not prayer,

pffffft says you. He told me via mind to mind prayer that he created that by kneeling undisturbed for 4 hours.

Boy, there's some weapons-grade crazy over there.

Look out physicists; the creationists are coming after you next:

As the universe expanded, there was a point at which time was moving very rapidly at the outer edge and essentially stopped near the center. At this point in the expansion of the universe, only days were passing near the center, while billions of years were passing in the heavens. This is the inevitable conclusion based on our current knowledge of physics and starting with Biblical assumptions instead of arbitrary ones.

By Physicalist (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

That was quite a nice bit of video; rather well done, I thought. With cool information about astronomy from astronomers, and cool graphics using the latest in technology. And surrounded by these spinning marvels, what does Hovind bring to the show?

"The earth is God's footstool", he declares.

The bible also says something about casting pearls before swine, so it's not entirely fascicle.

Please post every day so my aggregator picks it up.

Maybe I just don't get it, but what is the point of that video? Was there supposed to be some premise of proving creationism? All I got was "Earth is small. Other planets are big. Stars are even bigger. Oh, and god uses the earth as an ottoman." WTF?

By Kevin In Phila… (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Imagine if Eric Hovind claims scientific respectability because 50,000 people from all over the world visited his site, mostly from .edu and .ac domains.

By Xenithrys (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

How Big is Big?

The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?

Read as: my dad can beat up your dad.

Imagine if Eric Hovind claims scientific respectability because 50,000 people from all over the world visited his site, mostly from .edu and .ac domains.

I don't think his scientific respectability is enhanced by having a lot of visitors from Ascension Island.

By Emmet, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

@87:

I vote you nail the ipod touch to a cross, with a eucharist over it's screen and a yamaka nailed on top of the cross. Then, impale a bacon-wrapped Koran with the aforementioned cross. Then, douse the whole thing with sacramental wine and light it on fire, only to put out the fire with a steady stream of atheist urine. Finally, post to youtube, and title the video "A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Mullah Prove that God Exists".

Now that-thar's funny, I don't care where y'all come from.

By Anonymous (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Is this the doofus (I thought of another D word, but settled on doofus to keep your G rating... ;-) with the banana argument? OMG, I can just see him all pissed off, sending you an iPod Touch.
Good thing you'll be deleting those "creation videos" that will be polluting the drive when he sends it to you...

By Rachel D. (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

I thought of another D word, but settled on doofus to keep your G rating…

Douchebag? Dickhead?
:o)

By Emmet, OM (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink
If you think I'm evil now, wait until you learn what I would plan to do with it, if I did win

Sign the ipod itouch. Raffle it off. It will be enormously desirable to your fans, as a symbol of our victory over Hovind. Then donate the proceeds to a deserving charity.

I was going to say "Give the iPod to me" a la Sam Kinison and "the story." I'd fill it with blues and swing since I'm trying to learn how to dance. It's part of my evil plan to do very un-xtian things with young women. Things like treat them with respect, do what they want to do and make their enjoyment of the evening a priority.

But the charity thing sounds like such a better idea though. Unless you're inclined to see my social life as a charity case. If there's a free iPod involved, I won't disabuse you of that notion.

A footstool ay? Who would be so petty and unimaginative to assume that their god has "feet". I assume their god has a prostate gland and light colored skin too.

If you do win, I hope you will auction it off and donate the proceeds to a pro-science organization.

Perhaps a poll to decide which one... But then, it being an internet poll, you'd have to suggest that the readers swarm it.

By Seraphiel (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Anonymous (Socraticgodfly) @ 95

I was deliberating whether to make a poignant remark at your post but decided not to unduly rile the other posters with unnecessary and diverting banter.

"the soul of Time His slave,"

What is that even *supposed* to mean?
Time has a soul? does that mean it can be saved and/or end up in Hell? And if it's "God's slave," does that mean God sends it around to do stuff?
Weird, anthropomorphized version of a human-constructed interpretation of the universe based on our limited perception...
wait, that sounds familiar.
Never mind.

<creiPod link> *click*

------------------------------------

Dr. Dino, Jr. sez,

The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?

VY Canis Majoris is barely enough of a footstool for one of my gods:

------------------------------------

@Michelle, [#108],

How do you say "PWNED" in Greek?

φωηεδ.

By «bønez_brigade» (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

If, by some odd circumstance, you do get the iPod Touch, you're going to have to instantly jailbreak it. Not only will that wipe the creationist videos away, it'll unlock the iPod to a wonderful world of possibilities inhibited by the Apple Store.

By Steve Ulven (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

#87:

I vote you nail the ipod touch to a cross, with a eucharist over it's screen and a yamaka nailed on top of the cross. Then, impale a bacon-wrapped Koran with the aforementioned cross. Then, douse the whole thing with sacramental wine and light it on fire, only to put out the fire with a steady stream of atheist urine.

"That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

#138:

φωηεδ.

I am so saving that for future use.

PZ, I can't bring myself to do it because since he's a scam artist of the first magnitude, you'll never get the ipod and I'll have to go to his site and hold my nose until I can x out of it.

φωηεδ.

Works better visually than phonetically...

hmmm something about being a small footstool, well now i'm convinced. i cant wait for more science to be twisted into creationism

Is that it? You just have to be the referring site? We don't need to be Hovinized and fill in any forms? I just want to make sure I wasn't missing anything; I want you to win your iPod.

By MadScientist (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

There is no way I am going to help you win an Ipod, Oh shit I already clicked it.

By Voldemort13 (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

@14

I can't properly comprehend how big some of those stars are or how amazing it is that we can see things from so so so so so long ago.

Wow. It astonishes me how they can show you (really rather well, to be honest - I liked the first 50 seconds of this video) the scale of the Earth to stars and whatnot - which to me makes me go "whoa, how cool is the universe!" - then at the end they just go...

..."and in this book, someone wrote that it's a stool, so god is real".

And that's the end. And they're happy. And. Er.

What?

By John Noble (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

Emmet, Patricia... do you guys recognize sarcasm?

I was mocking the "footstool" comment on that webpage by showing just how ridiculous their "the earth is God's footstool" comment is. They talk about their ridiculous ancient myth, so I pulled out another one for comparison. Seriously.

Me? A theologian? Not hardly. I'm a biologist who just happens to have a pet fondness for ancient mythology, and a sarcastic streak when it comes to bitch-slapping arrogant Christians who think their mythology somehow magically trumps everyone else's ancient fairy tales. They're still all fairy tales... but it's really fun mocking one person's fairy tale with another.

That's all that is.

Hmm. Why is it that Eric styles himself as "Mr. Hovind"? Didn't he learn from his father how easy it is to get a "doctorate"?

Yessir, Tentacled Overlord! The noxious video is happily playing away in a minimized window, with the speaker turned off.

Even for you, I'm not going to listen to that shit.

By Leigh Williams (not verified) on 23 Apr 2009 #permalink

It's ok Michelle - I knew you were joking...

"Some things are big, therefore God exists!"

Totally convinced me.

I'd love to see the look on their faces when they find out they have to send an iPod to PZ. That is, if they actually keep their word.

By Anonymous (not verified) on 24 Apr 2009 #permalink

Oops, that last post was meant to be attributed to me...

Drat, PZ, now I'm really conflicted. After watching that video, I'm finding Eric Hovind is "teh cuuuute". I wonder if that's encoded in my moral DNA.

Please only post videos of cute atheist boiz. ;)

Notice how they agree with the science that doesn't challenge their literalism...

Perhaps we can recruit the /b/tards who manipulated Time magazine's Top 100 Influential People poll to engage in a little ... rearrangement. Perhaps arrange the clickthrough websites to be listed in order, so that from winner downwards, the first letter of the websites spells out "posterboy for creationist stupidity".

By Calilasseia (not verified) on 24 Apr 2009 #permalink

It will not be difficult, Mein Fuhrer!

By Dr. Strangelove (not verified) on 24 Apr 2009 #permalink

From the site: "The Bible says that the Earth is God's footstool. How big is your God?"

Viewing god in the only way I know how, in the pantheistic sense of course, how big is my god? Orders of infinite magnitude bigger than that. To my god, the earth is but the tiniest speck of dust ... if even that ... more likely barely a quark.