Small Town America and institutionalize hatred

Constance McMillen is a high school student in a small town in Itawamba County, Mississippi. She's also gay.

I think you can guess where this is going. I can see the flames of someone's personal hell from here.

It looks like Ms McMillen is a very confident person, though, so I'd guess that her situation has made her stronger. She decide to attend the high school prom with her girlfriend; Ms McMillen was planning to wear a tuxedo. Good for her: she's proud of who she is, and was going to be respectable and decorous about the issue. The flames are licking a lot higher, you can tell already.

I think you can predict that Small Town Mississippi was not going to react respectably and decorously about it, though, and they didn't. The ACLU informed them that they were violating her rights.

So the school cancelled the prom altogether, and let Ms McMillen's fellow students know why.

Hey, I don't think that's just a small hellish fire on the southern horizon, that looks like a mushroom cloud now.

The mayor is saying the community thinks this was a good decision. People are talking about putting together a privately sponsored prom…probably one that could exclude faggots (although, wouldn't it be cool if someone did put together a prom that was inclusive, thumbing their nose at the cowards in the school administration? It could happen — younger people aren't quite so hidebound as the calcified upper crust of small town USA, and that cohort also includes a lot of people who are itching for graduation day and their opportunity to escape Itawamba County forever).

I predict that Constance McMillen will be one of the progressive young people who will be fleeing Small Town America as fast as she can, as soon as she can. And the old geezers and flea bag preachers will sit around in their shrinking, backwards-looking community and wonder why the young people are so anxious to abandon them.

More like this

I thought the town was bad before, when they cancelled the high school prom because a young woman was going to bring a female date to it. But then there was a ray of hope: the school administrators changed their minds. There would be a prom after all, and Constance McMillen could bring her date!…
There are good people living in Mississippi, I just don't know how they can bear it. At least this first story can't be blamed on Mississippi. Fred Phelps is planning to picket Constance McMillen's graduation. This will be very interesting … how will the town and her fellow students respond? Will…
A lesbian student wanted to wear a tuxedo and accompany her girlfriend to the prom in a Northern Mississippi school district. Chaos ensued. It turns out that Itawamba County school district has an explicit policy requiring that senior prom dates be of the opposite sex. (This is the same school…
So far, this sounds so much like the Constance McMillen story: school has a big dance event, young lady wants to go with a date, the school tells her she can't because her date is also a young lady. This time, though, the story is set in Australia rather than Mississippi. I know there are many fine…

Constance rocks and has a heart filled with courage and passion that will serve her well all the years of her life.

The fossilized school board? They've decided to waste what little life they have left on trying to make life that little bit more difficult for someone with a life.

I'd pity them, but I'm too busy scotch taping fireworks to their office chairs.

School officials get an F for douchebaggery.

By bulletproofcourier (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I'm so glad you posted on this, PZ. This is nothing but draconian bullying done to a child by a bunch of bloodthirsty adults who should all be spanked soundly and sent to bed without supper!

By aratina cage (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Holy Bologna on a Stick. What kind of message are they sending to the other kids?

I wonder... What DID the other kids say about this situation? Is there hope? Any support from them for their classmate?

By Michelle R (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Better to take away from the majority then to allow a minority in. Wouldn't want the straight teens to find out the can live life and enjoy themselves while in the presence of a tuxedo wearing dyke.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

So the school cancelled the prom altogether, and let Ms McMillen's fellow students know why.

Crispy fried Christ onna stick. That takes mob mentality to a new low. Shameful, despicable behaviour. I hope Constance has support, a whole lot more than it would seem on the surface.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

argh! actually no they haven't, that link was for a lesbian student in Alabama.

/mutters something about the idiocy of commenting while tired

AnneH, do you have an other link. I do not have a Facebook account and I am not about to get one.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

http://www.itawambaahs.com/

Their website, they have a 'contact us' page I used to send this E-mail:

Atleast be honest about your bigotry

"Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events, the Itawamba County School District has decided to not host a prom at Itawamba Agricultural High School this year,"

'distractions'? Just say it. "We hate faggots. We don't want any of those diseased freaks at our prom." It's bloody obvious that's your entire reasoning behind this descision, so why not just be upfront about it? Go find a news article about you *theirs one on the front page of yahoo right now* and check the comments, notice how the ONLY people defending you are ones who obviously hate gay people?

I hope the prejudiced pricks on your school board enjoy eternity in the history books next to the bigots who tried to ban blacks and jews from their events like your banning gay people.

By samilobster (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Ah yes - when bigot's actions cancel everyone's fun, the bigots blame the party they're bigoted toward instead of themselves. Typical behavior and the sick, sick thing is that it works. It really does convince people. The public blame-game of "Well, we wouldn't have cancelled the dance if that gay couple hadn't insisted on showing up and being all gay amongst us, therefore it's their fault there's no prom- go direct your anger at them because it's their fault" of course glosses over the fact that there also wouldn't have been a cancellation either if they had decided to just put up with having a gay couple there.

There isn't enough bile to express how I feel about people who engage in that tactic. "You ruined it for everybody by being the target of our prejudice. If you weren't present that wouldn't happen. The solution therefore is for you to go away."

By Steven Mading (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

If you haven't seen it yet, I highly suggest the documentary "Small Town Gay Bar". It mostly takes place in small town Mississippi, and really shows the plight of the disaffected. I grew up in that area, but I'm straight so I actually wasn't aware of most of the communities till much later in my life.

By calinthalus (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Janine @#9, That link was an error.

However, Constance's case was not the first time a high school has discriminated against a lesbian student going to the prom with a same-sex date.

In the Alabama case I mistakenly linked to, that student had been on the prom planning committee, and had personally raised $200 for the prom. Even then, her school still wanted to cancel the prom instead of letting her take her date. She won her case.

I hope Constance is as fortunate, as her case is ongoing.

the hatreds and bigotries of the older generation will do more to boost the growth of tolerance and acceptance in the younger generation. across political, religious and civil ways of thinking.

i have personally gone through such a transformation. i was raised by a far right family on my dads side. only until the election of Obama did i see for my self the level of irrational, emotion based, fear mongering, distrust for new ideas (especially liberal ideas) than ever before, both in my family and across the country. there is an awakening going on. but the older generations have to go in order for us to evolve, like unchaining the shekels that keep us pinned to the past.

so i firmly believe that the "red will continue to shrink over the century (but will grow more hateful, loud, intolerant, and extreme) there is a reason that big cities are more liberal, a mixing pot of ideas

By SkeptikSnarf (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Janine, MOFMA OM:

I do not have a Facebook account and I am not about to get one.

Same here. I just checked Google news, and the prom is still canceled from what I'm reading. It seems the ACLU gave the board a deadline to reinstate in order to avoid being sued; the board has refused.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Thank you AnneH.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Poor kid - I hope those folks don't ruin her life. If her family don't help her out she'll have an awfully tough time though.

By MadScientist (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Ahh, going to a prom with the person of their choosing. Will these homosexuals never stop ruining it for everyone by demanding special rights?

By Naked Bunny wi… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

(although, wouldn't it be cool if someone did put together a prom that was inclusive, thumbing their nose at the cowards in the school administration?

I think we have a plot for a Footloose sequel!

Well, why not? Why shouldn't religious asshats act like, well, religious asshats?

Washington DC recognized that human rights (such as the right to get married) apply to all humans. Catholic Charities disagreed. Of course, they have contracts with DC and, because of the contracts, they cannot discriminate. Rather than be inclusive and include gay and lesbian spouses, Catholic Charities points to the GLBT community and explains that they are no longer covering any new spouses for any benefits because of the gays! The gays make it impossible for Catholic Charities to engage in discrimination based on their mythology (sorry, that should read church teachings (I guess)).

Out in Denver, a parochial pre-school finds out that a student has two mommies. Rather than be inclusive, they kick the little girl out. Without a government contract, they can be as assholish (sorry, religious) as they wish.

Now, Tupelo, Mississippi (a town known for it's inclusiveness, as well as a progressive policy on all forms of discrimination), knowing that they would lose and have to allow a student (a [horrors] gay [/horrors] student) to attend with her girlfriend, they are pulling the same shit that Catholic Charities pulled in DC: we can't legally be religiously dicrimminative, so we will take it away from everyone and blame the gays.

I am a firm supporter of free speech. Voltaire had it right (I've been dealing with a religious asshat on my blog recently (Matthew)) -- free speech is for everyone, especially when I disagree.

Part of me, though (and I suspect it is the reptillian part of my little historian's brain), wonders -- if harm comes to Ms McMillian and it can be shown that it was a result of the school board singling her out for cancelling the prom, could this be covered under the hate speech provisions of the recent law? I don't think it can (I may be wrong (and now I'm arguing with myself on a comment)).

Regardless, Catholic Charities, the Denver pre-school and the Itawamba school board all, to me, pass the fertilizer test: if it looks, smells, feels, tastes and sticks to your shoes like bullshit, it is.

Why should religious asshats acting like religious asshats surprise us?

@SC:"I think we have a plot for a Footloose sequel!"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

BACK OFF.

By Michelle R (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Should have kept it under wraps until the day of the prom and then showed up with her girlfriend in her tux. Sure, the teachers would have had a shitstorm, but would anyone actually have the guts to confront her to her face? Although, they might have thrown her out, and this way I kind of like the idea of punishing the straight kids as well. But they didn't have to be dicks and purposely try to get her classmates against her. I hope they realize it's not her fault, but rather was totally the school's decision and they in no way had to do it.

By nonsensemachine (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Wow, what a mature response on the school district's part. They are literally taking their ball and going home.

the ACLU gave the board a deadline to reinstate in order to avoid being sued; the board has refused.

Woohoo! They won't know what hit them if they don't relent and reinstate the prom. This is not even close to the legal level of same-sex marriage. All it is is two people of the same sex who want to share a date together! There is no way in hell that a public school can stop a lesbian from loving another woman!

And.... the suit has been filed!

By aratina cage (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Nonsensemachine: Most schools (including my high school in Maryland and my kid's school in Pennsylvania) have you fill out a card with your name and the person with whom you are going. That way, if the person is not acceptable (there being many variations on that -- in MD is was acceptable for a girl to go to the prom with a male up to the age of 25 unless they were married in which case there was no age limit (wish I were kidding)) the administration can say no. Or if the kid is from a different school, (as she was for me) they can call the other school and find out if my prom date is a problem child (she wasn't and we went to the prom together).

So it would be hard to 'surprise' the school.

Shorter schoolboard: "We're bigots and it's that dyke's fault our bigotry is exposed."

By 'Tis Himself, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

The extent of this bigotry just makes me sick. I hope Constance keeps strong and kicks that school at least into the 20th century (the 21st seems like wishful thinking).

I think we have a plot for a Footloose sequel!

Definitely! The villains could be the heroes from the original Footloose who, after half a lifetime of living in a small town and having their ideas trampled on have forgotten that they ever were rebellious...until the spunky lesbian teen shows them how to do it and reminds them of how life can be...end with everyone dancing to bad music.

A further unfortunate side to this is that the town has put this student at risk. By canceling the prom, and telling the students who was "responsible" for the cancellation, they have opened the door for a resentful homophobe to commit an act of violence - they've provided both the motivation and the target.

I admire Constance MicMillen. She is obviously an island of courage in an otherwise conformist, oppressive ocean.

Wow @ the comments on the news story. It goes full-blown Poe inside of 20 posts.

Here's one I just saw: "If it comes to that , let it be . No one wants to see a girl in tux . It will ruin the whole prom anyway ."

And that's pulled 114 thumbs ups (thankfully it also got 291 thumbs downs, but that's still 33% of readers agreeing).

Bigots...gotta love 'em....oh wait, no, we don't!

By NewEnglandBob (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Wow, I fail at math.

The best part of the suit:
"The suit asks for $1 in damages, plus legal fees and court costs."

I love it when they do things out of principle and not to fill their pockets.

By Michelle R (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Nonsensemachine:
The school has a policy that says that if the couple arrived together they would not be let in, and if they arrived separately but their presence made others "uncomfortable" they would be made to leave. After the school handed out information about the policies for the prom Constance took it upon herself to ask the school if they would reconsider the policy and allow her to bring a same-sex date and wear a tux (also against the rules). They said no.

This sort of childish behavior from homophobic school administrations happens at a few schools every year.

But, but, if they make the school bring the prom back and allow the lesbians in, then we're not tolerating their intolerance or some stupid shit like that! I'm sure that argument will come up, if it hasn't already. What I hate is the comments I saw somewhere (maybe on the yahoo link) where people were accusing the girls of "shoving their lifestyle down everyone else's throat." Yeah, because asking to go to the prom with a date of your choice is such a mean thing to do to somebody.

Wow. Depressing comments. I forget how much people can suck some times.

The girl in a tux thing is a huge part of why I didn't want to go to prom. All these dumb traditions. Gods that shit is stupid. But I hope the ACLU suit wins. It's awful they're trying to make her life as shitty as possible over their stupid (a)moral values.

"Either way someone was going to get disappointed — either Constance was or we were," Watson said."

Here's a neat idea Watson: have the prom, let in the lesbians, and mind your own Jehovahdamned business. Who gets disappointed there?

By tdcourtney (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

aratina cage @ 24:

And.... the suit has been filed!

Yes!

On Feb. 5, students were given a memo specifically banning same-sex dates.

[link]

Hmmm. I hope the ACLU mops up the floor with them.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Constance, you have far more courage than the idiots giving you trouble. Remember that—and that the world has plenty of places that aren't like Itawamba County.

By Ben in Texas (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Haha, 4chan beat you to this one, P.Z.! :D

By Doc_Murray (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

About ten years ago, my daughter went to the prom with a young gay man. She wore the tux, he wore the dress. They were accused of "ruining the prom." I was very proud.

By feralboy12 (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Holy Cow ! There are over 30 000 comments over there !

they would reconsider the policy and allow her to bring a same-sex date and wear a tux (also against the rules)

Wearing a tux is against the rules ? I guess pants too ? So, girls have an obligation to wear dresses ?????

BTW, sorry for long google name, but Typepad refuses to sign me in and google account doesn't show my username for an unknown reason...

By https://www.go… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I don't get it. Why is a girl in a suit a bad thing? I'm only asking because people seem to be throwing a fit over that as much as they're doing it over the fact that she's gay. A suit is formal, right? So it's fine for prom.

Of course, taking your girlfriend is fine for prom too, but obviously the school board can't apply that to lesbians because that would be weird. Much weirder than blaming one couple for a complete overreaction to their existence. Yep. All reactions completely in proportion there.

Anyway, I'm fairly sure there was a girl at my prom wearing a suit. There was a guy the year before in a kilt too ZOMG SKIRT CROSSDRESSING NUUUU. Having said that, here in England we seem to have stolen the prom tradition without having all the 'we don't like people like you round these parts' going along with it.

They are literally taking their ball and going home.

[PetPeeve]No, they didn't. They are figuratively taking their ball and going home.[/PetPeeve]

At my granddaughter's graduation, a young man showed up in a dress. He got his diploma and handshake, and a round of applause from the student body.

Of course, this was Canada.

Way to go, Constance! Keep up the good fight! There's hope yet.

By wanderinweeta (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

So, girls have an obligation to wear dresses ?????

At my school they did. Yep. Annoying isn't it? Tux on boys, dress on girls. No exceptions.

Everything at prom has to look a certain way so that some people can have the pictures they want. You don't get paid either. Hell, you have to pay for it!

Tense fail.

Frankly, as someone who was homeschooled (for secular reasons), I don't understand the entire purpose of the prom. As an outsider looking in, it looks an awful lot like "Hey! Look who I'm gonna go home and fuck!" (Which makes it an awful lot like every other day in high school for those lucky few who aren't pariahs.)

By Benjamin Geiger (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Don't worry. I'm sure Gawd has a special place for all them pious, heterosexual Mississippians in heaven.

*chortle*

I'm glad they're not suing the bejeezus out of the school though. Schools are already hurting for money as is. ...Though I get the feeling academia in this school district isn't exactly held with as much importance as it should be. I'm envisioning an assembly line sausage factory a la Pink Floyd. Dissenters be damned!!

Is there anything that can be done to directly support students that buck the fundiservative status quo?

Ugh. I really need to stop reading the news. It literally makes me nauseous. *pops a Tums* :(

And someone mentioned earlier about people complaining that 'teh gayz are always throwing it in your face'. When people say stupid shit like that, my fist starts to ache with a desire to meet their face. (I don't act on it) They never stop for a goddamned minute to think, "hey, I probably pass by a decent amount of gay people every day, and they're so "normal" that I don't even notice them."

Cheesus Crisp, I hope the future is better than this.

Anodyne:

I disagree. Lawsuits need to be used to dissuade dumbshits from doing dumbshit things, or at least keep other dumbshits from voting for them.

Granted, deals should be made: "if the people responsible for this decision all step down and swear not to run for office again, and (if possible) reinstate the prom, then I won't request or accept monetary damages".

By Benjamin Geiger (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

PS: Tums is not a good idea when facing nausea. It doesn't stop the nausea and it neutralizes the acid that kills harmful microorganisms (which may be causing that nausea in the first place). Just FYI.

By Benjamin Geiger (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

As an outsider looking in, it looks an awful lot like "Hey! Look who I'm gonna go home and fuck!" (Which makes it an awful lot like every other day in high school for those lucky few who aren't pariahs.)

That's pretty accurate, only maybe substitute "give my promise ring to" for the more seriously pious.

You wouldn't believe the rude comments I got for taking a picture (for my mom, who was the one who forced me to go anyway) by myself. The thought! A girl buying a picture of herself in that chintzy olan mills setup ALL ALONE!

As an outsider looking in, it looks an awful lot like "Hey! Look who I'm gonna go home and fuck!" -Benjamin Geiger

Not really, at least not at their homes with their parents there, and it isn't all a public spectacle broadcasting who you are going to sleep with either. Some people really do treat it like a classy date or a fun event marking part of the ascension into adulthood. I'm sure there are other reasons people go to the prom. It isn't all about sex.

By aratina cage (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Benjamin Geiger:

I disagree. Lawsuits need to be used to dissuade dumbshits from doing dumbshit things, or at least keep other dumbshits from voting for them.

I never said I opposed the lawsuit. I'm all for it!!!

And re the TUMS, it's not literal nausea, more like heartburn. And I only take a half dose :)

tsg, you need to work on your pun-spotting skills. The literal version works.

I disagree. Lawsuits need to be used to dissuade dumbshits from doing dumbshit things, or at least keep other dumbshits from voting for them.

I think you're misunderstanding: the girl IS suing, but not for money. It's a principled stand that won't further drain the already meager educational resources. that's an excellent way to go about it, I think.

By Jadehawk, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Holy SHIT! 36,000 comments on TFA! I've never seen more that 1000 or so comments on any place I've ever been pointed to.

I'm just going to go read a few, I promise. Only a few. See ya all in 2013, unless I respond. SIWOTI, ya know...

By MetzO'Magic (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Private proms... having grown up in rural Georgia, I can almost guarantee that the private prom will be heavily exclusionary. We had two dances for every school event that would involve a dance (homecoming, prom, etc). One was the school prom which was open to everyone. The other one was called the "private prom" but was well known for what it actually was, the whites-only prom.

I wouldn't be surprised if their privately organized prom has that level of exclusion.

By Humanistic Jones (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Posted by: tsg

They are literally taking their ball and going home.

[PetPeeve]No, they didn't. They are figuratively taking their ball and going home.[/PetPeeve]

Ball (2nd definition from dictionary.reference.com): "a large, usually lavish, formal party featuring social dancing and sometimes given for a particular purpose, as to introduce debutantes or benefit a charitable organization."

I think "literally" works in this case.

tsg, you need to work on your pun-spotting skills. The literal version works.

Yeah, I missed it. But, I did say it was a pet peeve.

"All I want is the same chance to enjoy my prom night like any other student. But my school would rather hurt all the students than treat everyone fairly," McMillen said in a prepared statement. "This isn't just about me and my rights anymore — now I'm fighting for the opportunity of all the students at my school to have our prom."

The suit asks for $1 in damages, plus legal fees and court costs.

----------------------------------------------
That young woman not only has courage, she also has class.

By Frankencone (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I said something on my FB page about taking their ball and leaving, but I didn't even think about the pun. I'm just going to have to claim that's what I meant. ;-)

Last year was my Senior Prom and I have a friend who is a lesbian. She went with a girl and in a tux and no one batted an eye. Alabama needs to change its motto to "Making West Virginia Tolerant in Comparison".

Apologies to anyone who actually lives in Alabama.

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

That young woman not only has courage, she also has class.

Quoted for truth.

@Ol'Greg #47:

You don't get paid either. Hell, you have to pay for it!

Hmm? You don't get paid for what?

By Naked Bunny wi… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

This came up in my Humanities class today, even in the middle of Methamphetamine Florida most of the class agreed it was bullshit.

Then a few minutes later someone tried to argue that prayer in schools should be mandatory and that Atheists could pray to themselves.

Moderately acceptable progress I suppose. :/

By tiger-salad (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Damn first post ever and already a mistake.

that should be "Making West Virginia Look Tolerant in Comparison".

By https://me.yah… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Posted by: SC OM Author Profile Page | March 11, 2010 3:57 PM

(although, wouldn't it be cool if someone did put together a prom that was inclusive, thumbing their nose at the cowards in the school administration?

I think we have a plot for a Footloose sequel!

SECONDED.

By truthspeaker (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Ugh, this really, really, REALLY pisses me off. When are people going just going to get over themselves and realize that the a person going to a dance, or going on a date, or kissing, or even having sex with, the person of their choice has no effect on them? That not wearing the kind of clothes that have been arbitrarily decided upon for us is not immoral or inappropriate?

Sigh. Anyway, she's a very brave and admirable young woman. Kudos for standing up to these assholes, I hope they learn something.

By Kyorosuke (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I don't understand the entire purpose of the prom

enforcing heterosexuality and gender normativity.

By MAJeff, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

No, just kidding. No way am I even going to look at even 1 comment over there. Inanity will surely prevail.

That young woman not only has courage, she also has class.

No one could say it better than that.

By MetzO'Magic (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

At my school they did. Yep. Annoying isn't it? Tux on boys, dress on girls. No exceptions.

Way to stereotype... I guess girls in pants aren't real ones... And you can't be classy without a tux...

And what happens to those who don't consider themselves neither a boy or a girls or who aren't sure about their sex/gender ?

Everything at prom has to look a certain way so that some people can have the pictures they want.

But what if the pictures I want are pictures of girls in pants ? Who are the "some people" ?

By https://www.go… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Gah! "Anxious" and "eager" are not synonyms. Not at all. "Anxious" means having apprehension, worry, even painful uncertainty. Anxiety can even be a psychological disorder. You meant "eager".

By nwdaniels91 (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Hmm? You don't get paid for what?

Haha... for putting on a show. To me prom just seemed like a bunch of people who want to enact a scene from some movie and in my case insist on your participating in exactly the way they like.

I live just one county over from Itawamba and I've been surprised at how many people have actually come out in support of Constance. It's not near the number it should be but it's still significant.

I'm so proud of this young lady for standing up for what's right even though it will likely mean that she and her family will face numerous threats. Hopefully, one day soon, we Mississippians will all join the rest of you in the 21st century.

By Skepticat (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Haha... for putting on a show.

Ah, I get it. For being the extras in their romantic drama.

By Naked Bunny wi… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

But everybody knows about Mississippi, God damn!

Ah, Nina....

By MAJeff, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

And what happens to those who don't consider themselves neither a boy or a girls or who aren't sure about their sex/gender ?

AAAAH! My ears are ringing from the sound of small town heads exploding at the thought. Followed shortly by the sigh of a hundred thousand "Oh, bless their hearts maybe we should have a prom for the *specials* too..."

AAAAH! My ears are ringing from the sound of small town heads exploding at the thought. Followed shortly by the sigh of a hundred thousand "Oh, bless their hearts maybe we should have a prom for the *specials* too..."

You can just imagine it. A prom with the kids from the special needs school, the gays, the dykes and those with gender identification issues.

You just know the people organising it would think it was wonderful how liberal and inclusive they were being.

By Matt Penfold (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Here is a message somebody sent to the superintendent of the school:

Dear Superintendent McNeece:

I offer my applause in regards to your school district's decision to cancel prom in order to prevent the "distraction" of a lesbian student bringing a female date, and the request that a private group sponsor a prom instead. But do you go far enough? I don't think so. I would like to make a few suggestions.

First, many people would consider inter-racial couples a distraction. Please ensure that any private proms will be racially distraction-free.

Second, even within racial and ethnic groups, further distractions can ensue. Please ensure that any African-American private proms will be arrayed along color lines, so that darker and lighter-skinned students don't mix.

Third, as someone with your surname should surely be aware, many people hate the Irish and Catholics. Please ensure that any private proms will maintain WASP purity and allow Papists and other distractions their own private space.

Sincerely,

Bill

You know, that's part of the reason why I didn't go to my prom... I couldn't go wearing my witty video game t-shirts and jeans. Nope, had to go and wear a dress. No pants allowed on gals. And since I had sworn I'd never wear a dress unless it's halloween... I stayed home.

...there was also the part where I thought it was just costly overhyped bullshit and because I knew I was not exactly wanted there since I was the unpopular nerdy girl.

By Michelle R (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I have a difficult time understanding how reasonable ADULTS would try and ruin Constance's life by behaving as the school board did.

---Oh, right, fundies.

Go Constance!!

Sheesh. The comments on the linked article about the cancellation are just ... unbelievable. How can so many people be so blind that they blame Constance (or occasionally the ACLU) for the cancellation of the prom? It was the school board! The school board!! Jiminy, how hard is it?

And of course there are some abusive and really unpleasant comments there too, but even ignoring those, the clear majority just fail to place the cancellation blame where it belongs.

I wonder - can anyone find out whether the timing of the Feb 5 notice was a response to Constance's intentions? It's kind of marginal which came first - but the prom announcement could easily have been back in December.

"Oh, bless their hearts maybe we should have a prom for the *specials* too..."

"Bless his/her/their heart/s" has my vote for phrase I'd most like to see removed from the English language. If the word "little" is added then I'd like it removed with extreme prejudice.

Yeah, frivolous comment but the substantial comments have already been made.

If two girls at the prom together can be booted out for making other students "uncomfortable," then where does the school board draw the line at defining what makes people uncomfortable?

I don't like seeing other couples make out on the dance floor--out with them! If I don't have someone who's willing to be seen swapping spit with me, then no one can!

By alysonmiers (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Oh, bless your little heart and your pretty cotton socks, Dianne, we'll get that done straight away.

;-)

("your" was not on the list).

The school board's reaction was so over-the-top. Most schools are more worried about the amount of skin showing than whether or not a girl is wearing pants. Seriously, what about the kids that don't have dates, or that go in big groups with unofficial dates? What if a straight girl had a girl_friend from another school who she wanted to invite? Requiring everyone to have a heteronormative night is kind of mean to the socially awkward kids as well as the homosexual ones. And they want to take a moral stand at the prom, a stereotypical night for the unmarried to fornicate in a potentially baby-making, life-altering way? Not to mention the underage drinking, which *will* happen after the dance only if before-the-dance-drinking is prevented by testing at the door. Unless they can ensure that all the teenagers will be abiding by their moral code, I don't see where those hypocrites get to suddenly draw this line.

Alysonmiers makes an interesting point: where does the board draw the line at defining what makes people uncomfortable? Surely it would be beyond possible for them to accommodate the needs of each and every student at the prom, including doing each and every possible thing to ensure that they are under no circumstances uncomfortable for one moment? If I said that an inter-racial couple on the dance floor made me severely uncomfortable and had many other students agree to make a statement, what would they do?

Seriously, unless the two lesbians were troublemakers (which I highly doubt), then how could they become a distraction if all they intended to do would be enjoying the prom like all of their peers? Would one student be so disturbed by the sight of a girl in a nice tuxedo near the other end of the room? It's not like they're being forced to talk to the two lesbians attending, who, from the sound of it, are two mature, lovely individuals.

Look, a lot of things in high school made me uncomfortable, but I dealt with it. Seriously, some people need to grow up and realize that people come from different backgrounds and have different interests.

By MatthewScience (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

enforcing heterosexuality and gender normativity.

Not only that MAJeff, it also enforces mid-class privilage. Consider the fact of how expensive it is and all the excess consumption involved.

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

alysonmiers @87
Suggested list of banned activities:
1. Making out (in public)
1a. Obviously having just made out privately
2. Dancing in a style unsuited to the song played
3. Slouching at the table
4. Bad hairstyles
5. Any evidence of an infectious disease
6. Any evidence of a non-infectious disease
7. Nose-picking
8. Irritating laughter
9. Talking about frivolous subjects
10. Talking about serious subjects
11. Not talking

Which probably gets us to where the school board is right now...

Bless his/her/their heart/s" has my vote for phrase I'd most like to see removed from the English language.

Haha... where's the petition?

This shouldn't really be a suprise. I remember watching a documentary on HBO a few months back narrarated by Morgan Freeman. Apparently, some school systems in Mississippi still have separate proms for the blacks and whites. Guess they don't want the kids dancing together.

Not only that MAJeff, it also enforces mid-class privilage. Consider the fact of how expensive it is and all the excess consumption involved.

This was the angle that bothered me at the time. I worked and really resented having to spend that money on tickets and a dress I really did only wear once. My parents were broke too so it was a big deal actually. Not to mention the other shit. I didn't do hair or nails but there's that too. In order to look like the right kind of girl its easy to blow hundreds of dollars.

alysonmiers @87

"Are there any queers in the audience tonight/Put em up against the wall"

Guess they've either never heard Pink Floyd or didn't understand the point of that song.

All that I know about Constance McMillen is from this story. And just from my limited experiences, I will say this about her. When she moves to a more friendly community and gains a new circle of friends, even if most do not know about her prom experience, they will find her to be almost impossibly cool. No matter how this lawsuit goes, it appears that she is strong enough to make it through.

If only the same can be said about the cowards who shut down the prom.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I said that I wouldn't, but I looked at the debate going on in the article's section for comments. And, as I scrolled down, I saw posts that became increasingly more hostile and homophobic, focusing more on the "fact" that the girl should have quietly moved on after this embarrassment without trying to be heard. I really do despise the state of this country sometimes.

By MatthewScience (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Uh... blockquote fail... again.

Michelle R, #83:

"...there was also the part where I thought it was just costly overhyped bullshit and because I knew I was not exactly wanted there since I was the unpopular nerdy girl."

That's exactly why I went to mine. I knew the rest of them didn't want me there, so I turned up just to annoy them. It was worth the money just to see their faces when my little group of blue-haired freaks stepped out of a big fancy car.

Well, that, and there was cheesecake.

If only the same can be said about the cowards who shut down the prom.

Amen Sister...

By Nerd of Redhead, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I say the ACLU funds a free expression prom for the kids. Cross dressing encouraged (but of course not mandatory).

By souper genyus (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

bobber@29-

A further unfortunate side to this is that the town has put this student at risk. By canceling the prom, and telling the students who was "responsible" for the cancellation, they have opened the door for a resentful homophobe to commit an act of violence - they've provided both the motivation and the target.

For these folks, that's a feature, not a bug.

By silversurfer (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Gay-free prom isn't unique to Mississippi (though the school's reaction was truly outrageous). My High School in medium-town Virginia didn't allow same-sex couples to purchase tickets. My girlfriend and I had to find male cover dates to take us so we could attend together.

By rueobscura (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

When I went to the Senior Prom with my Senior boyfriend in 1991, that was the first year that students were allowed to buy a single ticket for themselves. And that was in Oregon. Of course, the rules about how the participants dressed were still in full force -- tux for the guys and a "suitable" dress for the girls. I remember that one girl wasn't allowed into the prom because one of the chaparones felt her dress wasn't formal enough. And I went to the poorest high school in the district, where going to prom meant for many of my classmates getting a job and seriously saving up.

If I'd been then what I am now, I would have skipped it.

By ceestar42 (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

This school district doesn't sound too bright. If they had just ignored it, chances are the kids would have just shrugged and paid no attention. Then if some parents stormed in, they could just blame the ACLU. All fundies know it is always the ACLU's fault.

The chances that they now have a "private" prom somewhere else are now close to 100%. I doubt they would have canceled it without having one planned. And it will be even more exclusionary, I'm sure.

Oh good lord. When I went to my prom (waaaaaaaay back in 1998), there were several gay couples who attended AND there was a girl who wore a tux (who, by the way, looked hotter than most of the guys).

But, you know, the northeastern US us just full of us evil commie intellectual elites who encourage amoral things like acceptance and minding your own goddamned business.

By OurDeadSelves (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

From the BBC article that Joffan linked to in #105:

[blockquote]She also said that when she asked a teacher about the school's ban on same-sex dates at the prom, she was told she had to remember where she was.[/blockquote]

Yeah, remember where you are! A backwards, hayseed, community of stupid hicks who think that the invisible tyrant who lives in the sky gives them license to make homosexuals' lives miserable.

By Akira MacKenzie (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

We still have these awful things? Proms, I mean.

Proms are all about discrimination. Gay people get dumped on for being gay, single people get dumped on for being single, and otherwise unpopular people get dumped on for being otherwise unpopular.

Proms are a vestige of societal rules that haven't existed for over a century. What the hell do we need formal dances in high schools for anyway?

It's not like our kids aren't already meeting, greeting, and getting it on in middle school after all.

@Akira MacKenzie

I read that too. Constance had the right idea by symbolically saying, "I do remember where I am, America."

By ObviouslyRob (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

What the hell do we need formal dances in high schools for anyway?

Chimes in Anthropology

Why, it's all about display of power! There is economic power: People with the best dress or tux are given social praise. There is political power: Popular students are praise and compete for crowns. There is gender power: The males are expected to show some type of domninance by wooing females and doing "manly" activities for them. Marginalized groups are told that they are free to participate, but in reality there are so many factors that will deter them. Finally, it's a courtship ritual. Think of peafowls.

My school had it bad. While there was no active discrimination of marginalized group from the school board, the students themselves made situation harsh. The large number of evangelical students demanded that it be heteronormative. They also made it very expansive, in that they expect people to be in limos, expensive dress and jewels, expressive corsages. So poor students were left out. Finally the atmosphere in general made it uncomfortable for the socially inept or for those out of tune with pop culture. Cool thing though, it was in a science museum.

Yup, I worked to pay for all the expenses and asked the most popular student in school. All just to prove that I wasn't poor and gay. If I could do it over again, I'd ask the captian of our football team instead.

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I would suggest the young ladies get their asses to either the north east or northwest - Or any other blue state. disgusting.

By tradewinds (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Gyeong Hwa Pak @ 113:

Why, it's all about display of power! There is economic power: People with the best dress or tux are given social praise. There is political power: Popular students are praise and compete for crowns. There is gender power: The males are expected to show some type of domninance by wooing females and doing "manly" activities for them. Marginalized groups are told that they are free to participate, but in reality there are so many factors that will deter them. Finally, it's a courtship ritual. Think of peafowls.

Yes, yes, yes and yes. My prom would have been held in 1975. I graduated a year early. If I had been in H.S. my senior year, I wouldn't have gone. I had zero interest in that sort of thing.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Here is some contact information for the superintendent's office. Go use it (wisely, please.)

By Givesgoodemail (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Frankly, as someone who was homeschooled (for secular reasons), I don't understand the entire purpose of the prom. As an outsider looking in, it looks an awful lot like "Hey! Look who I'm gonna go home and fuck!"

Mine (or my girlfriend's, technically) was just a big dance party. No one was really excluded, so far as I could see; groups of friends danced together, loners (like me) bounced from place to place. Enough people were sufficiently happy and/or high and/or drunk that they'd obligingly hop up and down with you even if they'd never met you before and never would again. And the AP and artsy crowds, at least, didn't have spend that much money on their outfits; you got more points for scrounging vintage stuff and hand-decorating it.

There was a gay black couple who came in matching leopard-print briefs and faux fur capes, and very little else. And it was held on the floor of the Exploratorium in SF, with half the exhibits turned on. Fun all round.

But that was Berkeley High.

By Anton Mates (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

This girl does me proud. Rock the fuck on, Constance. I came out at 12 years old and endured beatings in high school from skinheads, and a Vice-Principal who told me, "That's the price you pay for being different," when I begged for protection.

So I got on my high horse and gave talks to state teachers' associations meetings about the experience of gay kids in public high school. Twenty years later, I'm delighted to see a flourishing Gay/Straight/Queer Alliance in my old high school.

Kids like Constance are the vanguard today. I just want to hug her to death, after I get over being a little verklempt and choked up at how damn proud I am of young people like her:)

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Sven

?

By Gyeong Hwa Pak… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

We still have these awful things? Proms, I mean.

Mine, even *mumble* years ago, wasn't anything like that. It was just a big party. You didn't have to have a date, dress was formal but not restrictive and no one got thrown out for not being properly dressed (one guy came in a t-shirt and jeans). Some people went with friends as their dates, and two guys went together (being openly gay was rare but not unheard of). The point being, yes, it can be a tool for discrimination in the wrong hands, but it doesn't have to be.

@ObviouslyRob

I read that too. Constance had the right idea by symbolically saying, "I do remember where I am, America."

The rub is that "America" means two entirely different things to both sides of this matter. Young Ms. Constance seems to believe that "America" is supposed to be a land of freedom, tolerance, and progress. TO the school board--indeed, the residents of that region of the nation--"America" is supposed to be a land of bigotry and superstition where their imaginary tyrant who lives the sky decides how everyone is going to live.

The right-wing are right about one thing: there IS a "Culture War" going on, the trouble is that our side are the ones on the defensive--and willingly so. It's time we stopped being worried about atheism's PR image and go on the offensive.

By Akira MacKenzie (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

The right-wing are right about one thing: there IS a "Culture War" going on, the trouble is that our side are the ones on the defensive--and willingly so. It's time we stopped being worried about atheism's PR image and go on the offensive.

Right on. Democrats, liberals, and atheists rolling over and playing nice ain't helping. These people aren't honest intellectual opponents, they're out for blood. Don't let them draw yours.

By Josh, Official… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Another interesting topic detour...

I'd never heard of half-male/half-female birds, but apparently it's not uncommon, and scientists at University of Edinburgh Roslin Institute have "solved the puzzle" of how this can happen.

BBC article with photos of male/female chicken (I would have thought it was a photoshop job if not on BBC):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8561814…

Original media release from Roslin - the study will be in Nature:
http://www.roslin.ac.uk/news/2010/03/10/scientists-solve-puzzle-of-chic…

I love science!

By SpriteSuzi (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Oh, Drat! Apologies to all - I meant to post this on the never-ending thread! It is related to Constance only in that I found the info after going to the BBC link to her story posted up-thread. Sorry again.

Now, can anyone tell me if there's a way to move it?

By SpriteSuzi (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

SpriteSuzi, you cannot move it. But you can cut and paste and repost it in the undead thread.

By Janine, Mistre… (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I bring a ray of hope for you guys. :D I'm a high school senior. At my school, couples' tickets are cheaper, so single people just pair off into random couples among their friends. Just from looking at the ticket line, you'd think we were a school full of lesbians and gay dudes. The ticket folks are good natured about it, and in past years quite a few openly gay (and transgendered!) students have attended with their girlfriend/boyfriend/etc.

Oh, and we have something called Pride Prom, which is open to students from all the high schools in town. Everyone is welcome, even straight, cisgendered kids, but it always has a queer theme, and it's always been a welcome refuge for LGBT students who are too nervous to go to the "official" school proms. The admission cost is a few cans of food to the Pride Prom food drive, which will be donated to the food bank.

And you want to know the best part? I live in Alaska. Yeah, you know, the state of Palin and Stevens and Young and all the other conservatives and creationists. Sure, we're the largest city in the state, but that's only about 300,000 people. Things are getting better, guys, They really are.

There is a poll at http://www.wtva.com about this:

Should same-sex couples be allowed to attend prom together?

and it is currently

Yes (48.2%)
No (51.8%)

I am asking all Pharyngulites to please do that voo-doo that you do so well!

And you want to know the best part? I live in Alaska. -Mak

Hah! I should have guessed. Anchorage has a wonderful community presence for lesbian, transgender, gay, and bi people except it could do without the anti-gay politicians and Prevo Baptists. I'm glad to hear the schools there are positively gay-friendly, too. And good to see another Alaskan on Pharyngula. :)

By aratina cage (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

dford17, I have complied:

Should same-sex couples be allowed to attend prom together?
Yes (52.5%)
No (47.5%)

By aratina cage (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Mak @ 127:

I bring a ray of hope for you guys. :D

That was a heartening post, thank you.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Thanks, aratina cage and all. I should mention that WTVA is the NBC TV station in Tupelo, MS, the closest station to Fulton and Itawamba county,

Thanks to all, again!

But my school would rather hurt all the students than treat everyone fairly

No, not exactly. It's an old and cowardly teachers' and army trick. Punish the whole school/platoon/whatever, and let everyone punish the "wrongdoer".

By Xenithrys (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

There is a poll at http://www.wtva.com about this:

Should same-sex couples be allowed to attend prom together?

that ain't the poll I'm seeing...

By Jadehawk, OM (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Joffan #85: back in 1996 the Salt Lake City school board passed a rule banning all after-school clubs rather than allow the Gay-Straight Alliance to meet. A number of students wanted to blame the ban on "the gays".
Article at The Free Library:

The Chess Club - gone. The Ski Club - no more. The same with Students Against Drunk Driving and Bible clubs.

Rather than let gay high school students form an organization, the city Board of Education voted to ban all nonacademic clubs.

"Everyone suffers because of the gays," complained Brett Shields, a 16-year-old at East High School and a member of the Beef Club, a social club that met last week to eat steaks and burgers and attend a "monster truck" rally.

By Cactus Wren (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Nice post Mak

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Most schools (including my high school in Maryland and my kid's school in Pennsylvania) have you fill out a card with your name and the person with whom you are going. That way, if the person is not acceptable (there being many variations on that -- in MD is was acceptable for a girl to go to the prom with a male up to the age of 25 unless they were married in which case there was no age limit (wish I were kidding)) the administration can say no.

My kids also went to public schools in Maryland, and our experience was quite different. Their high school didn't care if kids came with a different-sex date, same-sex date, alone, or as part of a group. And I know that several same-sex couples attended. That's the way it should be. Yay, for my kids' school.

By Bastion Of Sass (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

The poll on allowing gays to attend prom together is only ahead by 50.5% - 49.5%. It needs moar pharyngulation.

What I find astonishing is that the news pieces about this don't even bring up the obvious parallel - that these schools took the prom away when the ACLU brought suit against them for excluding Black students back in the day. It's not a new tactic, and it's exactly as reprehensible now as it was back then. And more importantly, highlights how incredibly identical all civil rights fights actually are.

FrankT:

The poll on allowing gays to attend prom together is only ahead by 50.5% - 49.5%. It needs moar pharyngulation.

If that's the poll dford17 linked to, there's a problem. I'd help out, but the poll I saw was about killer whales.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

As an outsider looking in, it looks an awful lot like "Hey! Look who I'm gonna go home and fuck!"

No going home and fucking right after the prom in my area.

Most of the schools have all-night-into-morning after-prom parties that are free for the students and their dates. Funds to put on these parties come from a variety of sources from government substance abuse agencies, local businesses, the PTA, parents. The idea is to provide a safe alternative to going to motels for a night of sex, booze, and drugs.

The events are well-chaperoned and the kids are "locked-in" for the night. Not literally, but they are not allowed to leave once the party starts. My kids' high school even provides free transportation from the school to the location.

The location is usually someplace the kids might like, with lot of activities and free food. Almost every student attends because it's become the traditional thing to do after the prom.

By the time my kids got home after a morning getting ready for the prom, a pre-prom party at a friends' house, going to dinner before the prom, going to the prom, then going to the after-prom party, they came home and slept through the entire day after the prom, and into a second day. Literally.

My kids' school used to have a PTA-sponsored post-after-prom breakfast too, but by then, the kids were too tired to eat and were falling asleep at the tables, so the PTA decided to eliminate that in recent years.

So, if the kids are going home and fucking, it isn't for a day or two after the prom. IOW, business as usual.

By Bastion Of Sass (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Sven: HCwDB is heeelarious!

By Antiochus Epiphanes (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

where does the school board draw the line at defining what makes people uncomfortable?

Yeah, for instance, seeing straight white guys try to dance typically makes me very uncomfortable. (Just joking.)
(No, I'm not.)
(Yeah, kidding.)
(No, that is a true statement.)

By Bastion Of Sass (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

This is truly appalling, and I applaud Ms. McMillan for her courage.

Twenty years ago I was acting principal of a large public high school for five weeks. On my first day as Principal, a sophomore boy brought his daddy's 357 Magnum to school, with ammo (he heard there was going to be some trouble after school). Someone snitched, and we dealt with it; I found myself on all three local news channels that evening.
But the most protracted “crisis” I had to deal with was the Senior Prom. The prom was scheduled for Good Friday (a school holiday, perfect for the girls to have their hair done and the boys to pick up their tux, corsages, etc.). Two Roman Catholic girls objected; they could not properly observe their solemn holy-day and attend their one-chance-in-a-lifetime senior prom. I asked them if they spoke to the SP Committee; yes, they won't do anything. I did my bureaucratic duty and spoke to the SPC advisor. Yes, they looked at changing the date to accommodate GF observers, but the hotel ball-room had been reserved two years in advance, and alternatives just were not available. I called in the girls and told them the prom would go on as planned.
This was not the end of the story! First came the parents, to argue that I was interfering with the girls' constitutional right to practice their religion. They called the District Superintendent; the deputy DS was given the problem, of course, and he called me; “can't you do something to make this go away?” “I'll see what I can do”, I said. I had another meeting with the SPA (I had to do something, right?), and told the DDS the prom goes on. To his credit, he allowed my decision to stand.
This was not the end of the story! They filed a complaint with the state Civil Rights Commission. They had their priest, a military chaplain, (Father O'Flaherty, or something equally Irish, with a fresh-off-the-boat brogue), call me. At this point, I must reveal two delicious ironies. One, I had 16 years of Catholic education, and was a member of a RC religious order of monks (that's what we called ourselves) for eight years right out of high school. Although I was now one of those evil secular humanists who control the public school system (I wish!) , my knowledge of RC doctrine was the equal of the good Padre's, and I was way ahead of the curve on the constitutional “issues”. Two, the SPA , a delightful young energetic teacher, was in fact the daughter of our local Episcopal bishop. She had a very good understanding of the meaning of Good Friday to the various flavors of Xians. I could not refrain from revealing this to the Padre. Any (ex-)Catholics reading this can predict what he said, “but...but...he's not a REAL bishop!” His closing argument was his most convincing, “but...but...it's the DAY OUR LORD DIED!”
The prom came off without a hitch, without the two girls in attendance. I”m confident that at their three-hour GF rites they prayed earnestly for the salvation of my soul.

By joe.bussen (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

The school has a policy that says that if the couple arrived together they would not be let in, and if they arrived separately but their presence made others "uncomfortable" they would be made to leave.

No, no, no, Itawamba County Agricultural High School!!! That's not the best way to word your policy.

Take a cue from the spokesperson for the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School in Boulder Colorado. Say something like:

"If a tuxedo-wearing lesbian comes to our prom, given that as administrators we believe, and have let the students of our school know, that being a lesbian is against the will of God and nature, then it can be expected that some of the other prom-goers might act in a disgustingly ugly manner at the prom, or, at the very least, be made "uncomfortable" by the lesbian's presence, and, as a result, the lesbian student may think that the other students harbor negative prejudical attitutes against her. We don't want to put any student, even a lesbian, in that tough position."

By Bastion Of Sass (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

@Caine, Fleur du mal #139 - Sorry, it looks like they took it down not too long after my post. Thanks all for trying though.

dford17, no problem. I got to the link too late, so sorry I couldn't help pharyngulate it. I'm sure this won't be the last we hear about this fundamental dust up though.

By Caine, Fleur du mal (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Sad.

I'm surprised nothing like this happened to any of the gay kids I knew back in high school. We lived in the Dark Heart of Southern WV, so ignorance and dickishness was not uncommon. Just it rarely seemed to be pointed towards teh gayz.

I had to deal with our Vice Principle trying to convert me to Jebus, and weeks of detention for saying "God damn", but my lesbian friends were rarely yelled at for kissin'. At least not by the administration.

I'm suprised no one has mentioned the all time greatest novel about proms.

Carrie by Stephen King!!!

Now that was a prom to remember. While it wasn't too realistic in many places, there were elements of truth to it.

@#20 I didn't see anyone correct this, but it was Fulton, MS, not Tupelo. Tupelo is actually rather progressive for the area. Fulton on the other hand is a cesspit. I can say this living in the area and having been in both. I can't support impugning Tupelo as it's about the closest thing we have to a city in over 100 miles and I'm not aware of many incidents of bigotry there (mind you, I rarely keep up with local events and didn't know about this until it hit national news). Hell, it has (if I recall correctly, as it's not my scene) 2 gay bars, one of which that holds regular drag contests, and to my knowledge, no one's tried to burn them down or organized any violence against them.

With that said, the bigotry is strong here. On a local news site with comments (Link), there were more than few people (less than half, but not by much) bringing up the Bible as if it was relevant. In fact, excepting one individual, all the arguments in support of the school were overtly religious, the one exception clearly held the bigotry religiously and was clever enough to disguise it. Fortunately, there were several well-spoken individuals in support of Ms. McMillen shutting down the arguments left and right, and at least one of them was atheist, which makes two of us now, time to start a group!

Well, seriously I know of at least 4 atheists in the area other than myself and we're too spread apart to do something like that, but I suspect there are more and would start an atheist group myself if I had any money or organizational skills. If there's some more NEMS atheists on here with better organization than I have, I'll help out (or try at least) if you wanna start something.

I just looked at said local news source, and it would seem her parents are quite supportive of her. That makes me feel kinda hopeful.

By uknesvuinng (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

Wow, that is incredibly unfair.

For my Year 11 school dance my date (a girl btw) wore a tuxedo. No one spluttered or closed the dance down. And yes I am a man.

What sickens me is that Constance is receiving much of the blame for prom being canceled, even though she's the one fighting to have it reinstated. I hope Constance wins this and keeps her chin up.

But don't get me started on the schoolboard! Ignoring for the moment that they are a bunch of hateful pomps, why would they ever cancel prom for the entire class just so that they can punish Constance? It's vengeful, petty, and pretty despicable.

By Cheerios623 (not verified) on 11 Mar 2010 #permalink

I'm in the UK so I'm not the best judge of what the outcome of this will be. But I hope that Constance gets the backing of most of the student body on this, it's not hard to get kids to think for themselves and buck authority, especially when that authority is their own high school.
Then again, the tool employed often when training soldiers (punishing the entire group for the in infraction of one, thus making the group turn against the one) is very powerful, and the propaganda about 'gay agendas' is widespread.

I'm hoping the student body gets it right

B

Keep in mind that it doesnt' even make any sense in the eyes of their own religion.

If she's being excluded because she's homesexual, and homosexuality is a sin, then in all fairness they would need to extended the prom banishment to anyone that has ever sinned by the standard of the Bible. That would pretty much exclude everybody. As it is, they're just picking on homosexuals.

Wow. I am not usually amazed at how stupid an individual can be, but I am amazed at how and entire school board could think this is a good idea.

I think the student is lucky she is a female. I have a feeling that a male would have been beaten mercilessly if this had happened because of a male-male relationship.

By Thegoodman (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

I used the contact information to leave an e-mail.

Dear Superintendent Teresa McNeece,

I am sure you are getting much feedback concerning the school board decision to cancel this years public prom. I'm sure that while you are getting great support for your moral stance, many would prefer that you keep the prom intact. I myself do not live in your state, and must confess I have no vested interest, I am just a concerned citizen with some questions. While I think you were standing up for closely held beliefs, I unfortunately am a yankee and am confused by some aspects of the story. Perhaps it is a failing of the new media which reported it and I hope you can fill me in

1) I am often told of Southern Hospitality(tm). I am told that we in the north lack such manners and social cohesion. I'm often told that southerners are friendly folks, very affable and believe strongly in their communities, banding together for the common good and all. I think this stereotype is in err since the Southern Hospitable response to the Promgate has been exclusion and mob rule. Clearly I am mistaken in what Southern hospitality and manners mean. I had thought it was inclusion and nobility while in reality it appears to be about exclusion and pettiness. Would you really rather hurt the whole community to spite a few 'bad eggs' rather than be tolerant? Is that what Southern Hospitality is about? Hurting many for the sake of excluding a few? I am afraid I am very confused, please clarify

2) I know religion is important and influential in the south, far more than up here in our godless blue states. However, if such an action as yours was based on biblical beliefs, I confess I am befuddled again. I read what people reported Jesus (whom I understand is a figure of some note in the predominant sects in your demographics) was about. I'm told by most "peace, love, forgiveness, understanding" and all that. I am told he was against judgment "Let he without sin cast the first stone" and "do not point out a splinter in thy brothers eye while ignoring the log in yours". I can't see how these tenants fit with spite and bigotry. So, I naturally went and read the bible myself looking for the justification. If your reasons were biblical, my dear ma'am I'm afraid you are in grave error. While the bible clearly says homosexuality is an abomination not to be tolerated, you're actions are not in line with the bible. The bible orders you to take any homosexuals and put them to death. I'm sorry, but canceling prom is simply not a suitable equivalent. Which religious view does the school believe justies it's actions? New Testement which has no word on killing gays from Christ, or the Old Testament which says you're not going nearly far enough? I respect you for standing up for your beliefs, but if you're going to do it, by dash, do it right!

3) What conceivable problem did you have with allowed ladies of the non-male persuasion to attend your ball? How did it hurt you or the other students in any way? I'm lead to understand that we are in a free country, where our freedoms end exactly where other's begin. Was this couple to infringe on another's rights? No one has the right not to be offended. On the contrary, if someone is offended by another, unless that other is infringing upon their rights, acting against them is unjust. I am fully aware many students and teachers would be made uncomfortable, but I do not think it is in the school authorities responsibilities to appease them. I think this is a matter of freedom and tolerance, which again, I am told are important to patriots. The price of freedom is the tolerance to respect others freedom. However, you live in an area that once committed high treason and fought a war for your 'right' to impose your will on the rights of others, so you may have a different view point on liberty and freedom. If so please explain to me what these ideals mean in the former confederate states (many of which still have race segregated proms...why do you not to that as well?).

4) What is it about this issue that would turn a normally reasonable and rational person such as your self into a shrieking hysterical effigy of a human being? I am unable to understand how someone possessing logic, reason, and cognitive faculties could possibly over react to such a minor thing. What about this triggers such a powerful transformation? The closest we have in the north is when the barista fails to correctly deliver our mocha latte at the corner Starbucks. Please explain the cultural context of this odd anthropological reaction.

Thank you for your time and I eagerly await your response. Understanding is the corner stone of harmony and I believe dialogue such as this will do wonders for breaching the clear cultural gap between us yankees and our more down to earth brothers to the south.

Best Wishes and God Speed,

James "Ing" English.

"If that's the poll dford17 linked to, there's a problem. I'd help out, but the poll I saw was about killer whales. "

THEY'RE EXCLUDING KILLER WHALES FROM THE PROM NOW TOO!? JESUS MIDGET DIDDLING CHRIST WHEN WILL THESE FASCISTS STOP!?

@Ing: They were upset by the female killer whales trying to wear tuxedos.

By Naked Bunny wi… (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

# 23 Posted by: wisnij: "Wow, what a mature response on the school district's part. They are literally taking their ball and going home."

South Park/Eric Cartman: "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

By Birger Johansson (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

Some gospel.

A prom in the Big Easy has to beat the hell out of a prom in rural MS.

By Grewgills (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

@Ing: They were upset by the female killer whales trying to wear tuxedos."

Shamoo: I CANT HELP IT ITS JUST MY SKIN PIGMENTATION!

Principal: Tell it to the judge, Elan!

My daughter, who is a high school student in a smallish town in America, says that 90 percent of the kids at her school would be just fine with a same-sex couple, but that the ten percent who would be upset would be very upset, very vocal, and very set on getting things their way. They would also blame the victim for the problems, and would exaggerate missing the prom into having their entire lives completely ruined. They would also be typical religious people, and not Christian at all.

By Menyambal (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

By the way, this story made it onto the BBC web site. "Way to make America look good, Itawamba Agricultural High School!"

But "brava" to Constance McMillen and "bravo" to her dad for supporting her.

By Menyambal (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

GO CONSTANCE! I hope the students are sane there and don't just blame the victim. Ray of hope: at my Indianapolis high school (self-described "Jesuit, Catholic, Interfaith") I'm sure the students and teachers would have been fine with it.

Also:

New Orleans hotel owner Sean Cummings said he was so disappointed with the school board's decision that he offered to transport the students in buses to the city and host a prom free of charge at one of his properties.

"We're a joyful culture and a creative culture here, and if the school doesn't change its mind, we'd be delighted to offer them a prom in New Orleans," he said.

Way to go Sean!

Ray of hope: at my Indianapolis high school (self-described "Jesuit, Catholic, Interfaith") I'm sure the students and teachers would have been fine with it.

And the local bishop would shut down the high school rather than allow a same-sex date.

By MAJeff, OM (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

A little good news on this subject:

At least one supporter has offered to help McMillen and her classmates hold an alternate prom.

New Orleans hotel owner Sean Cummings told The Clarion-Ledger of Jackson he was so disappointed with the school board's decision he offered to transport the students in buses to the city and host a free prom at one of his properties.

"New Orleans, we're a joyful culture and a creative culture here and, if the school doesn't change its mind, we'd be delighted to offer them a prom in New Orleans," he told the newspaper. "Concluding your high school experience should be a joyful one. One shouldn't conclude that experience with all their friends on a negative note."

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_lesbian_prom_date

By PirateBard (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

Posted by: Akira MacKenzie | March 11, 2010 10:19 PM
The right-wing are right about one thing: there IS a "Culture War" going on, the trouble is that our side are the ones on the defensive--and willingly so. It's time we stopped being worried about atheism's PR image and go on the offensive.

This hadn't occurred to me before your post but a parallel can be drawn bere between the culture "war" and actual wars, and that is that the aggressor will always try to portray themselves as the defenders. The Christian Reich^H^H^H^H^Hight is trying to claim they're the ones defending our culture when they're the ones trying to get it changed. (Sort of like trying to claim that annexing the Sudatenland is a defensive move).

By Steven Mading (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

@ 163 & 165
I guess I need to be a bit less cryptic with my links.

By Grewgills (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

A citizen from New Albany, Mississippi, not too far away, let me just say this kind of thing sickens me. The sexual repression and the Christian oligarchy haunt me every waking hour.

By Orson Zedd (not verified) on 12 Mar 2010 #permalink

www.itawambaahs.com - The school's website appears to be down. Maybe they were getting too many emails about what douchebags they are.

From the AAE's Code of Ethics for Educators:

1. The professional educator deals considerately and justly with each student, and seeks to resolve problems, including discipline, according to law and school policy.
2. The professional educator does not intentionally expose the student to disparagement.
3. The professional educator does not reveal confidential information concerning students, unless required by law.
4. The professional educator makes a constructive effort to protect the student from conditions detrimental to learning, health, or safety.
5. The professional educator endeavors to present facts without distortion, bias, or personal prejudice.

Um, relevant!!11elventyone! Emphasis mine, of course. I'd send a copy to the school to, ahem, remind them of their priorities, but the webpage seems to be down (I wonder why)...

For the record, I attended my then-girlfriend's prom without incident in MD, but we both wore dresses like good little girls should. I skipped out on my own prom a year later.

By Je craque (not verified) on 13 Mar 2010 #permalink

Update, the school and the parents staged a fake prom to avoid the ACLU getting all over their ass.

How fucking shameful can people be?

When those damn homos are tryin' to ruin our 'Merica, the shame pit is bottomless.

Constance McMillen, Mississippi teen, recently caused an uproar by wanting to bring her girlfriend, a lesbian, to the prom. Well, after much legal ballyhoo, the school district caved and invited her to prom. Turns out, though, it mighta been fake.

Well, if it wasn't fake, it was the worst attended prom since the year after Carrie White totally PMSed all over everyone. Basically the school district canceled the prom when everyone got upset about a gay person being gay at it, but then a little bit later — after much international scrutiny and ACLU lawsuit stuff — the school district's attorney announced that a parent-sponsored prom was being held and invited McMillen. Constance, her girlfriend, and seven other kids were the only ones to show up to the event.

The real trouble is that there's rumored to have been another prom held that night at a different location, one that, word has it, the parents were fully aware of, and the school district helped plan. So, basically a bunch of grownups may have staged an elaborate ruse so the gay girl and her gay lesbian girlfriend and all their totally homo friends could stand around one place looking like chumps, while the real teens did real things like give birth in the bathroom and rape each other in limos at their own very special real prom. Terrifically done, everyone!

Of course this could all be untrue scuttlebutt, but we find it hard to believe that all those kids really wouldn't go to their big dance just because one girl and her date were there, unless they had another place to party that same night. Though, as some are pointing out, it's kind of a tall order to ask all those kids to keep a secret prom secret, isn't it?

No matter the case, this is the most embarrassing story ever. People are horrible

By Rev. BigDumbChimp (not verified) on 05 Apr 2010 #permalink