Horror at the Multiplex

Kate's out of town for the weekend, leaving me here by myself (well, not counting the Queen of Niskayuna), needing to find something to do to entertain myself. My first thought was "big long bike ride," but it's raining, and I'm just not that committed to bicycling.

Second thought was "Maybe I'll go see a movie. So I punched up the local movie listings for the giant multiplex in the big shopping mall. I'll put them below the fold, to shield people from the soul-sucking horror:

  • Accepted
  • Barnyard The Original Party Animals
  • Beerfest
  • How to Eat Fried Worms
  • Idlewild
  • Invincible
  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • Material Girls
  • Monster House 3D
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
  • Pulse
  • Snakes on a Plane
  • Step Up
  • Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
  • The Descent
  • World Trade Center

What the hell is up with this? They're showing sixteen different movies, and not one that I'd be willing to pay to see.

(Well, ok, technically I was willing to pay to see Pirates of the Carribbean, but I'm not willing to pay to see it a second time...)

What a horror show. I mean, there's nothing on that list I have any interest in. Call me a bad blogger, but Snakes on a Plane just screams "Sci Fi Channel" to me. I can see how it would be entertaining with a large group of like-minded people, but it's just me.

And what are my otehr options? The hipster guy from those Mac commercials pretending to be a drunk freshman? Two weeks from now, I won't be able to throw a rock in the air without it landing on a drunk freshman. No thanks.

Marky Mark in a heartwarming story about a bartender trying out for the Eagles? I'm not that desperate for football.

Will Ferrell playing a dim-witted NASCAR driver? Let's see, I don't have any interest in auto racing, and Will Ferrell generally gives me hives... Yeah, that's a winner.

This is ridiculous. I might as well just spend the day at work.

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I have little clue what it's about, but my wife saw "Little Miss Sunshine" in a pre-release screening thingy, and said that it was quite amusing.

For what that's worth.

-Rob

Add my girlfriend and me on the list that thought "Little Miss Sunshine" was very amusing and well done. It just builds and by the end it is laugh out loud funny with greater significance given recent events in CO.

For what it is worth I have no interest in auto racing but thought "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" was very funny, poking fun at the superficial nature of the culture surrounding NASCAR. My girlfriend not a fan of Will Ferrell at all really enjoyed the movie. Given we saw those two though and Pirates, none this weekend jumped out at us. We thought about "Road To Guantanamo" but decided it was a little too heavy for us right now.

I'd opt for curling up with a good book and the Queen of Niskayuna, myself.

Actually, the Descent is pretty decent as a horror genre movie that knows that it is a genre movie. I saw it over a year ago with some students of mine who are caving enthusiasts and we had a blast. It goes through a lot of the standard motions of the horror genre, knowingly and lovingly doing several tributes (if you look carefully for the odd camera angle, portion of a scene, etc) to classic horror movies.

One thing I am curious about is how well it will do in the market... It is way better than a lot of the action+horror films that have been released recently, but can a US audience take seriously an action+horror movie where all the standard roles are filled by female characters? (In fact, there are no men in the movie at all, if I recall.) I hope so, but I suspect I'll be disappointed on that one....

-cvj

I'd opt for curling up with a good book and the Queen of Niskayuna, myself.

That's what I'll probably end up doing (though I'll swing by Blockbuster and see if they've got anything I feel like watching). The goal was to find something to get me out of the house for a while, though.

I ended up going for a bike ride, anyway. It wasn't really raining, just intermittently drizzling, so I decided to suck it up and put in ~15 miles down to the Erie Canal tow-path.

If you like horror flicks, you'd have a hard time topping "The Descent". It's very well done.

Might as well chime in here with my own plug for "Little Miss Sunshine," which sounds absolutely nauseating and is, in fact, quite funny...

That said, curling up with a good book is a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon... especially since I, to, have been foiled from a long bike ride by impending rain.

"Snakes" was actually dopey, loud, non-sensical yet amzingly fun. FWIW.

I also liked "The Descent," and thought it was well done but I like horror movies.

I iwll avidly watch "Beefest," but only when it hits HBO. "WTC," you couldn't force me to watch.

Both "Little Miss Sunshine" and "Talladega Nights" were outstanding. I was exceedingly skeptical about "Talladega Nights", given that I usually have an allergic reaction to Will Ferrell, but it was hilarious. It doesn't hurt that it's got both Sascha Baron Cohen and Jane Lynch in it.

Add me to the Little Miss Sunshine brigade. It's a small, measured comedy with a couple of outstanding performances; the only comparable film that springs to mind is Daytrippers. Then again, I'm a sucker for well-written, small-budget films with A-list talent.

And while I haven't seen Descent, a number of my friends who have--most of whom don't like horror films--thought it brilliant. (What I mean is, they all wouldn't shut up about it, which is usually a good sign.)

All that said, now that I'm a little out of the culture loop, I frequently have the same 57-channels-and-nothing-on experience. (Fifty-seven channels? How quaint.)

I'm actually curious about Idlewild, the reviews for which have been generally good.

Idlewild was surprisingly fun. I saw it in the Dome last night. I thought it was going to be a load of twaddle. It is a string of cliches for sure, but ones that I don't mind seeing from time to time, with good musical interludes (if you like OutKast). It was basically a cross between a musical and long pop video, with clever 1920s-inspired stylings. Ignore reviewers who were idiotic enough to think it was meant to be historically accurate. Think of it as historically accurate as "Sky Captain...., i.e., it is just borrowing a period look.

-cvj

I might be willing to give Little Miss Sunshine a shot, but it really doesn't suit my current mood. I'm not much for horror movies, even well-done ones, so Descent isn't terribly appealing. And I really don't like musicals, whatever the genre of music, so Idlewild doesn't really do it for me, either.

On the other hand, when I stopped in at Borders, I discovered that a new Chuck Klosterman collection has been released. That does fit my mood, and I'm shortly going to kill two metaphorical birds (the other being the bizarre craving for really bad Chinese food I've had all day) by going to read it in the buffet place across the street.

(This may be a terrible idea, stomach-wise, but I've got beer for that...)

Rent the Debbie Trilogy on DvD: Debbie Does Dallas, Debbie Does Pacoima, and Debbie Does Yeshiva (also released as Bar Mitzvah Boys in Bondage). In the last case, be careful about getting the Director's cut.