Some guys on a mailing list that I'm on were talking about a game they were playing during breaks in the NCAA tournamnent last weekend, trying to come up with appropriate alternate mascots for colleges and universities. The idea is to pick mascot names that fit with the school name to make an amusing phrase.
My favorites from the list discussion were:
The Creighton Barrel (Singular, like the Harvard Crimson or Stanford Cardinal).
The Seton Hall Monitors (A Komodo dragon that checks late passes).
The Iona Spheres (A team with real balls).
I'm sure ScienceBlogs readers can come up with some good ones, though, so I thought I'd throw it out here and see what people come up with.
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It's kinda tough for any school ending in "State" or for directional schools, though "Ball U" is a common usage.
Niagara Falls is just too easy.
Belmont Stakes... meh.
The Butler Didits?
Austin Peay Sand Carrots... heh.
The William and Mary Chain?
/Got Nothin'
I'm sure I can come up with some :-). My favorites are the ones that are legitimate mascots and have a sort of subtle double-take cleverness to them: The Delaware Wolves, The CMU Collies, The Elon Gators, etc.
What does the Creighton Barrel mean?
My favorite is still the "Stanford Robber Barrons", seeing as Leeland Stanford actually was Robber Barron. It was almost the actual school mascot, it won a campus-wide vote to replace Cardinal, but then the higher-ups decided not to use it (at least, according to my dad, who was here when it happened).
The William and Mary Chain?
I like that one.
The CMU Collies,
I have to admit, I don't get this one.
What does the Creighton Barrel mean?
"Crate and Barrel" is a fancy housewares store, in the Williams-Sonoma vein.
In fact, the "Williams Sonomas" would be a possibility. I don't know what a "Sonoma" would be, but it's not much dumber than "Ephs"...
Clearly Union needs a new name...
Union Jack
Union Suit
Union Organizers
Moving hurriedly along, how about
Pace Setters
Pace Makers
James Madison Avenue
Villanova Locks
Temple Money Changers
Drexel Spreadsheets
Smith Brothers
Harvey Mudd Slingers
Reed Actors
You forgot about the Union Agitators
Is the Harvard Square any worse than Crimson?
Skidmore Grease guns?
Pomona Deer and Antelope. You could call the stadium the Pomona Range.
Colgate is left as an exercise to the reader.
CMU Collies makes a lot more sense when you exapand the TLA...
And I nearly forgot the famous Oberlin Wall.
I usually pride myself on never writing this, but RE: Austin Peay Sand Carrots: OMG LOL ROFLMAO!
Ahem.
A few quick ones, mostly awful:
St. John's Worts
UC Berkeley Perceptions (Get it? Their being is their perceiving?)
St. Augustine Confessions
SUNY Shiites
Indiana University of Pennsylvania Virginians (Texans, Hawaiians, whatever)
Richmond Poormonds (ouch.)
Idaho Udaman (double-ouch.)
George Washington Carvers
Whitman Samplers
The Illinois Makers
(I really hate to add that, since the "s" is Illinois is supposed to be silent, but so many people mispronounce it . . .)
Chapman Homers
Clark Bars
Hofstra Men
Vassar Deans
Hampton Roads (boring, I know)
Mary Baldwin Apples
Adelphi Oracles
Amusingly, I see that Pace actually is the Setters.
Elon Gators (or for another Florida school reference: Elon 'Noles)
Kenyon Email Scammers
Occidental Tourists
Emory Boards
And this one doesn't fit with the contest, but wouldn't it be great if there were a Liberty U. Equality Fraternity? Of course, equality would have to be a priority of that school for it to make sense....
A quick few, although none to compare with the SUNY Shiites or the Indiana University of Pennsylvania Virginians:
Bates Stamps
Bowden Blancs
The Cobly Cheese
Yale Locks/Cells/Birds/Wardens
Brown Cows/Shirts
University of Pennsylvania Dutch, or maybe just the Penn Sills
Wake Forest Fires
Georgia Tech Stocks
Duke Nuke-ems
CW Post Grape-nuts/Age
Liberty Belles (women's teams only)
University of Miami Vice (kind of fitting, that one)
University of the South Ribbers, typically referred to as the Sewanee Ribbers.
Rice Bowls
Notre Dame Ednas (men's teams only)
And in the somewhat tasteless category:
Columbia Explosions
Beaver College Pussies
Dave,
I can't believe you put the Duke Nuke-ems but left out the
Brown Coats.
Dave,
Only "somewhat" tasteless? Egad, I'd hate to see what qualifies as "truly" tasteless, then!
Actually, that's a lie. I would enjoy the hell out of it as long as no one was looking.
Cox Sand Balls?
@agm: I like Brown Coats - it gives me a feeling of serenity.
@Decline and Fall: I went back and forth between that and just calling them the Beaver College Vaginas. Totally crass, but imagine them palying with your Cox team.
(Nice 'nym, BTW. That's my second favorite Waugh book, after Brideshead. Everybody talks up The Loved One, but I think D&F is the best of his shorter comic novels.)
Air Balls
Cal Poly Theists
I don't get the Delaware Wolves but another real one is the UConn Huskies.
How is it that there is an Indiana University of Pennsylvania and a California University of Pennsylvania? They must have a serious identity crisis over there.
Everybody talks up The Loved One, but I think D&F is the best of his shorter comic novels.
I agree, although I typically refer people to The Loved One if they've never read Waugh. It's more visceral and in some ways more fun, if less nuanced.
On another note (showing more restraint than I did previously),
Morehead Hunters/Masters/Lights/insert something inappropriate here
Great Neck St. Wranglers?