Reality Lets Me Down, Again

From the "You Read Too Much SF" file: I was really disappointed by the press release that went with the headline:

Mysterious energy burst stuns astronomers

A headline like that really ought to involve bodies strewn about a remote observatory, and enigmatic alien forces roaming free, perhaps being hunted by menacing government agents. Sadly, it just refers to some sort of surprisingly large radio emitter in the very distant reaches of the universe.

More like this

Seriously. That headline just screams "Star Trek episode."

Mysterious energy burst stuns astronomers.
Astronomers retaliate, bombard energy burst with cold dark matter. Energy burst, deflated, slinks away with magnetars stuck to its refrigerator.

I thought it was going to be an article about a new vitamin drink the astronomers had been sucking down while trying to stay awake for yet another long imaging run....

panel explodes, killing redshirt