"[S]elf-defeating efforts at cost control" See also "deferred maintenance."
This week, in the Journal of Unsurprising Results.
"This phenomenon will allow researchers to achieve various quantum effects in graphene for fundamental research and for technological applications,"
"[W]hen our own Matthew Bolin suggested that one of our first lists should be a rundown of our favorite age-inappropriate rock songs, the suggestions came fast and furious. "
The simple solution to "no bottled water" is for graduate student labor to dig a well in the Main Office then place tiger striping and wheelchair ramps about its periphery, plus a blue-delineated handicapped waitng zone (with audible pingers for the sight other-abled). Add grant-funded activated carbon adsorption, reverse osmosis, and UV sterilzation, then bottle the product and note it falls under the the intent and letter of the original proscription.
Solution? Dig a second well; add a pulley, ratchet and release, rope, bucket, dipper; card swipe access, shaft encoder. Post instructions in seventeen languages; Braille (sight other-abled), and Ameslan (hearing other-abled). Add supervisory software plus a quarterly PowerPoint summary. Add Security personnel to search for bottles.
Dig several wells for statistical validation of Management parameterized models re performance bonuses. Declare a Magnet Well Site for other universities to emulate. Do studies. Establish a Department of Sociohydrological Science (including ISS FUBAR field work to attract diversity students). Grant degrees.