Random Bullets of Bodily Functions

Warning: Do not read on if descriptions of women's natural bodily functions makes you queasy.

  • Last night as I was changing a diaper, I was suddenly debilitated by intense abdominal pain the likes of which I hadn't experienced since, oh, say, labor. The pain was sharp enough that I barely managed to get Minnow dinner and to bed, and I did beg Fish to come home from work early in case it progressed to vomitting. (I ate a place with "local color" for lunch.)
  • Eventually the pain eased, and the cause revealed itself.
  • My period returned overnight.
  • Mind you, I shouldn't complain because it's been almost 21 months since my last one. (Breast-feeding can suppress ovulation.)
  • And the 21 month deficit explains my inability to diagnose the cramps.
  • But it also seems like a cruel, sick joke because:
  • Yesterday was the first day in the past 11 months that I have not pumped at least three times and/or been available for full-time nursing. I was in the field with a colleague, and I only managed one quick hand-pump in a diry gas station bathroom.
  • You would think that the engorgement from lack of pumping was punishment enough for a fun day in the field, but apparently not.
  • On a happier note: I had a dentist appointment this morning (the teeth look good), and at the end they took my pulse and blood pressure. My pulse was 59, low enough that the hygeniest asked if I was a runner. I'm certainly not, but I'll interpret the low pulse as a sign that when I am forced to do nothing for an hour, I can calm down and relax. Maybe I even get more relaxed than other people.
  • Minnow has decided that I am a necessary pillow for her continued sleeping past 6 am. She insists on lying either with her head or her entire body on my stomach/chest, giving literal meaning to the term "body pillow." Any attempt to disengage her, much less substitute a sleepy Fish, has been met by full-on screaming.
  • I'm guessing this is a combination of adjusting to a new schedule and separation anxiety and will eventually sort itself out.
  • But it's not helping my productivity or stress levels in the meantime.
  • (And this is why I need a pseudonym. While I am happy to share my bodily functions with random strangers on the internets, I just don't think it's any of my students damn business.)

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my Aunt Flo returned after just 9 months, and has been regular ever since (4 times now). It is still hard when I'm tired, crabby and making less milk, then I remember... oh yeah, it's about that time!

babe won't sleep in the bed if I am not there... she'll wake up screaming from a deep sleep if I get up to pee in the middle of the night... but I have to tell you, 6 am seems like sleeping in compared to our babe's current habit of waking at 4... uggg!

By soil mama (not verified) on 09 Jan 2008 #permalink

Soil mama: You always make me feel better. But I bet your babe isn't still waking up every 90 minutes, like mine is. And I hope that makes you feel better.

Happened to me too today in fact. No cramps though. I've had a hormonal implant for six years (guaranteed to work for five years, so it seems I've got one year for free :-) and pregnancy before that. So this was the first time in 7+ years. Good to know I still work in case I'd get the chance to produce another one.

21 months! I just had mine at 7 WEEKS post-partum! I'm breastfeeding, too. I wonder if it's because I started on birth control - the mini-pill. I started menstruating a couple of days after taking it, and it was a pretty normal period. Maybe I'm just super fertile and my body wants to make more babies? :P

Wow. Still haven't gotten mine back, and frankly, I'm not missing it. :)

Of course, now I've probably jinxed myself.

OK, THAT is something nobody ever told me before. I mean, one's period doesn't return immediately after child-birth?! COOL!

I wouldn't want my students to know about my bodily functions either, but since I lecture them about sex, ovulation, and genitalia - they wouldn't necessarily be shocked at my level of 'openness.' I draw the line at telling them when I get Fred (my word for Aunt Flow)

My little guy was waking up every hour or two last night, but he doesn't do it every time--he started eating rice cereal yesterday, so maybe as he eats more he'll sleep longer . . . but that doesn't seem to have worked for you :(
I thought after a year they only nursed once or twice a day--I guess it just depends on the baby? I'm hoping not to have to pump during the day a year from now!

wow! your period stayed away lots longer than mine. I only got about 6 months period-free after each baby.

By Writer Chica (not verified) on 11 Jan 2008 #permalink

yikes, Minnow is waking every 90 min! sheesh, sometimes I wonder if there is a "problem" or if it is a habit (maybe resulting from when there was a "problem"??)... it's hard to not try to find some food reaction reason behind every undesirable behavior.

as much as DH and I HATE waking up early, we are still not going to let her CIO in the crib, but I've seriously wonder what other co-sleepers do with babes like ours.

oh, and congrats on the walking! it is amazing to think of our little ones squirming around together less than a year ago and now they're little people.

By soil mama (not verified) on 12 Jan 2008 #permalink