motherhood

I'm back from my northeast travels - I had a great time at both NOFA and NESEA, and am slowly recovering from a glazed state of sleep deprivation to something sort of coherent enough to finish the book (3 weeks to go!). But I'm still sleepy and tired, so to remind you that Pi day is coming, I include my classic (ok, if I have any classics ;-)) essay on why the world can be saved with Pie. If you are inspired to follow up with a submission to the Pi-day contest, that would be awesome. The other day I got embroiled in one of those endless discussions/debates/headbangings about what the best…
Dear asshat, When you are only carrying a small garment bag and attache case, and you encounter a mother struggling into the airport parking deck elevator with a toddler in hand, giant carseat over one shoulder, suitcase rolling behind and attache case over the other shoulder, the correct thing to do is NOT to say: "Boy, you sure don't believe in traveling light." and then get off the elevator, striding toward the shuttle bus stop with nary a backward glance. The correct thing to do is say "Would you like a little help with your load?" and then help her carry something to the bus stop. It…
A. Non Mouse, who blogs over at NaCl and hv, has just written a great series of posts about her strategies for successfully bringing a baby to a conference. Check out her how-to posts on childcare, transportation, gear, and accommodations. This is a subject that is close to my heart, and one that I've written about before (here, here, and here on a trip when Minnow was 9 months old, here at 18 months, and here's a manifesto on the subject that was featured in last year's Open Lab ). And it's funny timing too that A. Non Mouse writes about motherhood and conference travel now, when I am…
If she lives in New Jersey, she might be. Because apparently, refusing a C-section (and then successfully vaginally delivering a healthy baby) and acting "combative" "erratic" and "noncompliant" during labor is considered child abuse and neglect and is grounds for the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services (NJ DYFS) to immediately take away your newborn child and permanently terminate your parental rights. Sounds unbelievable, right? But I am so not making this up. In the case of New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services v. V.M. and B.G., In the Matter of J.M.G., new mother…
Don't worry I'll be back to the course design series soon, but I spent yesterday focused on other things (paper revisions, grant proposals) and I haven't completed the necessary work to get the next post up. And it's Friday, so let's divert to lighter equally serious but different topics. As the mother of a toddler daughter I've been struggling with the overt patriarchy of the classic Disneyfied fairy tales, in which a stereotypically beautiful damsel in distress is helpless until rescued by a prince. I'd been trying to avoid exposing my daughter to the princess stories (Cinderella, Sleeping…
In January 2008, a reader (Serious Scientist) sent me a query about dealing with inlaws who thought she should give up on her scientific career when her baby arrived. They wanted her to go to a baby shower across the country, without her husband, and she was dreading the trip and the questions and judgements that would certainly arrive during the party. I encourage you all to look back into the archives and read her original letter, and the wonderful advice everyone offered to Serious Scientist. Serious's letter, even buried back in the archives, has generated a couple of recent comments.…
(to the tune of "Hush, little baby") Speak little child, and make lots of sounds And keep growing in leaps and bounds We'll be busy as bumblebees We'll catch the waves that crash on the seas We'll go for strolls and walks in the park We'll draw lots of sidewalk art We'll run through sprinklers on days when it's hot We'll sing songs and laugh a lot We'll climb a mountain to touch the sky We'll bake you a blueberry pie I'd give you the stars above For you are my one true love. These days Minnow would rather have a story at bedtime than a lullaby, but this lullaby was sung multiple times daily…
Fantastic volcano blogger, and all around cool guy, Erik Klemetti has put out a call for volcano pictures that he can use on his Eruptions blog. I'd love to be able to send him some fantastic shot of a plinian eruption, but I live in a pretty tectonically quiet part of the world. So this weekend, while Minnow was making spaghetti out of playdough, I decided to craft an offering for Erik: Of course, as I was feeling all smug about my depiction of a Hawaiian shield volcano, complete with lava entering the ocean and creating hydroclastic fragments, NASA's Earth Observatory posted an image of…
A loyal reader of the blog sent me a copy of an article in the spring edition of the LTER Network News. In the article (pdf here ), Laura Gough discusses how her research at the Toolik Lake field site in northern Alaska helped prepare her for the joys and challenges of parenting. Dr. Gough is a plant ecologist at the University of Texas at Arlington, who is currently serving as the NSF Program Director for Environmental Biology. In the article linked above, Gough stresses that acceptance of tedium, flexibility, preparation, and stopping to appreciate simple joys are the parallel skills that…
OMG, my sister-in-law is going into labor! How exciting!! That is all for now. More as things develop, as it were.
After staying with us for about a month, ScienceGrandma is now on the plane flight back to her home. Last night was our first night without her. Below the fold, a few reflections on living with three generations under one roof. I am happy to be returning to the master bedroom and bath, which we had given up because of accessibility issues. For the duration of her visit, we'd moved a guest bed into my home office and I'd cleared off some bookshelves for clothes. Two adults and a toddler in a single tiny bathroom gets a bit crowded, especially because of needing to keep everything out of a…
A few days ago I wrote about The Problem of the Problem of Motherhood in Science, a post inspired by Meg Urry's book review of Motherhood, the Elephant in the Laboratory by Emily Monosson. A vigorous discussion ensued in the comments - thank you all for participating! It turns out the author of the book was paying attention, and she contacted me by email. Emily Monosson told me she feels her book was misrepresented in Meg Urry's review. I agreed to post here the contents of her email to me. Here's the email: I am writing, as editor of Motherhood the Elephant in the Laboratory, in…
Mary Ann Mason has a column in this week's Chronicle of Higher Education describing the importance of role models and mentors for women graduate students. Though Zuska recently wrote a provocative post that argued that "the problem of motherhood" might be a red herring for those interested in increasing the representation of women in science, Mason's column provides some data that suggest the problem of motherhood is very real. Role models, particularly ones with children, can make the difference in whether a female graduate student takes the next big step along the tenure track. While…
Over at Fairer Science, at the end of an excellent rant about the uselessness of one-shot workshops, Pat Campbell writes: One other thing, if I see one more article about why there aren't more women in science that concludes "it's the children" I am going to run amuck. This one says "Women don't choose careers in math-intensive fields, such as computer science, physics, technology, engineering, chemistry, and higher mathematics, because they want the flexibility to raise children..." Say what? Good to know that it's only the math intensive fields; so friends if you want a science career and a…
Sometimes, when I look at Toddler Jane*, my heart aches over how beautiful she is, inside and out. Nothing in the parenting books, nor the advice and stories from other parents, can prepare you for what that feels like. Call me crazy, but I really do enjoy advising undergrads. It's a different kind of problem-solving: should I drop this class or talk to the professor? do I have time before I graduate to double-major? if I major in X, will I still be able to take classes in Y? Plus, I really like getting to know the students one-on-one, and getting a glimpse into their lives, their…
Another valiant attempt to combine motherhood, teaching prep, and watching the superbowl. Last year I made it to the third quarter before giving up (i.e., Minnow needed my attention for the rest of the evening). Let's see if this year goes any better. 6:22 pm: The TV has been on for about 15 minutes with the various pre-game antic. We shut it off because it's distracting Minnow from eating dinner.6:29 pm: I'm changing a poopy diaper during opening kickoff. Minnow decides she wants to wear underwear for the next round.The over-turned first touchdown: I'm dishing up home made apple pie and ice…
Dearest Minnow, Happy Birthday! I am so proud of my "big girl" who knows her colors, can count to three, has seven word sentences, loves books to the point of memorization, solves puzzles repeatedly, pees on the potty regularly, cares for and cuddles her "baby" and stuffed puppy, sings songs spontaneously, worries about how "Nanna has a big owie," pedals her tricycle, and has words associated with most of the letters in the alphabet ("apple, baby, cat, daddy..."). I'm amazed by how much you've grown so much in just the past few months, and I look forward to being amazed by your…
It's the end of the year, and I'm feeling a bit reflective. (I'm also avoiding a daunting between-semesters to-do list. When will I manage to take a break?) In a recent comment thread, Female Engineering Professor commented: I often find myself wondering about various random threads on these blogs. Just the other day I was wondering if ScienceWoman ever got blinds or curtains in her office. So instead of doing the year in review meme that's gone around, I'll now try to tidy up the nursery by sharing the rest of the story from a few past posts. First to answer FEP, I did get blinds in my…
The last few weeks have been completely chaotic, over-crowded, and exhausting. On top of the end-of-term crunch, with its usual flurry of grading, review sessions, and exams, I was also trying to finish revisions on a paper, and get some research done in time to make the poster for AGU. The unintended, but entirely predictable consequences of all this was longer and longer hours working, more and more caffeine, and less and less time with Minnow. I was getting so much done! I discovered that if I just drank more caffeine, I could reduce my nightly sleep to 6 (badly interrupted) hours. And in…
For the past 18-ish months, I have been nursing Baby Jane. For the last few months, we've been down to 1 nursing per day, in the mornings. I knew that I'd wean her eventually, sometime around the 18 month mark, but wasn't sure when or how that would happen. My original plan was to nurse for a year. At the beginning, when I was struggling so much with it (Baby Jane was a cluster feeder the first few weeks---basically, she wanted to nurse constantly from about 7-10pm. Plus, it didn't exactly come naturally to either of us), I didn't even know if we'd make it to the year mark. When it felt…