Weirdness
pharyngula | December 29, 2009People send me the strangest pictures. This one was very confusing: I couldn't tell whether it was food, science, or porn. Anyway, it trips a few triggers.
I should mention that in the flood of peculiar email, I do often get squid porn: attractive young ladies draped with various molluscs, and little or nothing else. I don't mind — although it makes my mail attachments folder a weird, perverse place — but don't be offended if those pictures never get posted here. There are limits!
pharyngula | December 25, 2009Carl Zimmer has some videos of explosive erections in ducks you might not want to miss. Or might want to miss, depending on your kinks. I may have nightmares tonight.
pharyngula | December 24, 2009THIS. IS. MINNESOTA. We like our Christmases white around here, and it's not enough just to have a few decorative snowflakes tumble down — we need a blizzard, and that's what we're going to get. I was out there in the frigid whiteness earlier today, clearing the driveway and sidewalks, and now I'm all worn out, ready for a good night's rest. I expect I'll get up tomorrow to find even more snow piled up everywhere.
Another traditional way to spend the day before the blizzard is to scurry about stocking the larder, and I did a bit of that too…which led to the nicest, sweetest, most heart-…
pharyngula | December 23, 2009Strapped for cash? Don't know how you're going to afford a few gifts for the family? Don't worry about it, just steal them! It's OK because a priest says it is, and they've got the backing of God. Just remember: don't rob the little stores, always hit the big ones, since they've got capital to spare. And they've also got the really good stuff.
I'm a little behind the times. I did all my Christmas shopping online, where it's really hard to shoplift. Would it be OK if I stole some credit card numbers, Father? How about if I give the church its 10% cut?
pharyngula | December 21, 2009My godlessness is shaken to the core by this miraculous manifestation of the madonna. I think she's sending a message to the pope.
pharyngula | December 21, 2009Seriously? The Vatican has just declared the Pope a legally protected icon. Don't you dare use it in a cartoon, you vandals, or slap the holy name up on your soap-on-a-rope to gin up extra sales from the gullible.
The Vatican made a declaration on the protection of the figure of the Pope on Saturday morning. The statement seeks to establish and safeguard the name, image and any symbols of the Pope as being expressly for official use of the Holy See unless otherwise authorized.
The statement cited a "great increase of affection and esteem for the person of the Holy Father" in recent years…
pharyngula | December 19, 2009Well, this is an odd project:
Though the Bible is an ancient book, full of beautiful prose, timeless stories, and great truths, there has long been a barely spoken of dissatisfaction over the one element it sorely lacks: zombies. At Zombible, we hope to remedy the situation by carefully inserting lovingly crafted zombie-oriented text into the Bible, for the enjoyment and enlightenment of all.
It's odd because when I read the Bible, I see a great big zombie story already. The central figure in the New Testament is a zombie, and the chief function of the book is to turn people into zombies. I…
pharyngula | December 18, 2009The Joliet Jackhammers, a baseball team in Illinois, have put up an interesting sign to get people to buy tickets.
Some people are unhappy and want it taken down.
"It's in very poor taste," Councilwoman Jan Hallums Quillman said. "To have God tell you to buy tickets? Give me a break."
I wonder if Quillman felt the same way about the serious billboard campaign that had God announcing his will and intentions? There was one that read, "Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game -God." Was that in poor taste? It seems to me that many people think it's perfectly alright to put words in their…
pharyngula | December 14, 2009You're supposed to close your eyes and randomly jab at this picture to choose your deity for future worship.
I tried it — just closed my eyes and spun around in my chair and reached out and touched the screen — and have discovered that I am now supposed to praise "System Preferences" on my laptop. All hail System Preferences! My System Preferences is mightier than your System Preferences!
pharyngula | December 13, 2009It's the sweetest song I've ever heard. I'll be her filthy gibbering lunatic, always.
"Always" may not last for long, though, once she hears a song that compares one's beloved to a "quasi-ichthyan angel". It's the sentiment that counts, not the literal interpretation, OK?
pharyngula | December 12, 2009It's God's Cartoonist, a documentary about Jack Chick. That guy is a complete and utter loon, and a hateful ideologue, and a bizarre recluse…all of which would make him a fascinating subject for a documentary. I'm surprised the media haven't been trying to track him down before.
It's available on DVD. I think I'll have to get a copy.
pharyngula | December 11, 2009Kooks are like stray cats: give them a little bit of attention, and they end up following you everywhere, making annoying squalling noises and clawing at your door. A perfect example is David Mabus aka Dennis Markuze aka That Insane Prat, who, now that registration is a barrier to posting his little kook-droppings here, has taken to trying to flood my mailbox. Ha ha, the laugh is on him, my mailbox is already flooded! Also, I've got filters up the wazoo there, anyway.
There a whole lot of skeptics (and the entire faculty of the University of Minnesota Morris, too, who have marveled and…
pharyngula | December 9, 2009I'd happily hang that on my wall. The trophy wife would even more cheerfully tear it down, shred it, and set it on fire. But then, she's the one with taste*.
*Don't judge her by her taste in men. That was a momentary lapse of reason, a one time thing.
pharyngula | December 8, 2009I don't know about this. It's a page of science-themed cookies, and although I like the sentiment, and they certainly are pretty, little alarm bells go off in my head when I see cookies decorated up like gels. I've had to tell students not to eat the acrylamide, it's toxic. And the cookies that look like streaked petri dishes…oh, horrors! Don't eat the random colonies of bacteria, either!
pharyngula | December 4, 2009Be still my heart…Isabelli Rossellini dressed up as a squid demonstrating their mating ritual.
This is much more convincing than the God Equation.
pharyngula | December 4, 2009We atheists are done for now. Behold, the God Equation, which I received in email and proves that a deity created us all:
Scientists working in the UK have discovered robust evidence that the creation of the earth and moon was a deliberate act. The researchers found that the earth, moon, and beyond were engineered according to a specific equation. They have dubbed it the God Equation. The equation, which looks like this:
shows a constant, unchanging relationship between the speed of light, the ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle, and the radio frequency of hydrogen in…
pharyngula | December 4, 2009I hadn't heard anything about it. Apparently, almost nobody else had, either.
In New York, Beck sold 17 tickets. In Boston, another 17. And in Washington, D.C., the hotbed of political activism, his tearful film drew only 30, Raw Story has found.
Glenn Beck's new movie The Christmas Sweater - A Return To Redemption -- released for a viewing Thursday night in hundreds of theaters across the country. While it performed better in the south and in rural, more conservative areas, his ability to draw viewers in major US markets was a bust.
"The theater's almost empty," a representative at Regal…
pharyngula | December 3, 2009A study that tried to analyze how pornography affected men's views ran into an unfortunate problem: no control group. It seems there does not exist a population of males that doesn't see some porn regularly. Still, they went ahead and at least got some shaky numbers on porn viewing habits.
Single men watched pornography for an average of 40 minutes, three times a week, while those in relationships watched it 1.7 times a week for around 20 minutes.
The study found that men watched pornography that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or…
pharyngula | December 2, 2009An Irish doctor has had to go public with his recommendation: he's telling Catholic fanatics that they shouldn't stared directly at the sun to generate optical artifacts.
We clearly need a set of PSAs targeted specifically at religious audiences. Don't jump off of tall building because you can't fly, don't eat poop because it tastes yucky and is full of bacteria, don't poke yourself in the eye with a fork when you eat, that sort of thing. They clearly need help.
pharyngula | November 27, 2009Or I would have roasted one yesterday.
I wonder if you can get free-range turctopus?