Weirdness
pharyngula | April 24, 2010I never thought of this, but it's a real danger: the Homeopathic Bomb.
Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes.
All I need is a minuscule quantity of octanitrocubane and a couple of liters of bottled water, and *POW*, I'll have the deadliest water balloon in the universe. Those people who were afraid the LHC was…
pharyngula | April 24, 2010The intersection of sex and religion can get very disturbing. But if you want really disturbing, forget Catholicism — that's just old school abuse of power and guilt and ugliness, given strength by sheer numbers. The really freaky stuff is in cults, like The Family International. Don't click on that link unless you want to get sucked into a vortex of insanity — it's about a sex cult that used what they called "Flirty Fishing", more commonly known as prostitution, to recruit followers to Jesus and to make money, among other things.
I got that from a link to a blog by a phone sex worker, which…
pharyngula | April 22, 2010All is revealed: trustworthiness is in the beard. Rate yourself on the scale:
I'm all the way to the left, under "Very Trustworthy", and just ahead of Dan Dennett.
Ladies, I'm sorry you're left out. This is also an illustration of why you are so mysterious to the clueless male — you aren't on the scale!
pharyngula | April 21, 2010I learned something odd this morning. Three US states have laws on the books, created by Republican legislators, making it illegal to insert microchips into people. Virginia has even declared them to be the mark of the beast from Revelation.
And now Georgia is hoping to join the ranks of the crazy states. There is a bill pending, SB 235, the "Microchip Consent Act of 2009; prohibit requiring a person to be implanted with a microchip", which is symptomatic of the problem. This nice opinion piece summarizes why it is nuts.
In Gov. Roy Barnes' stump speech, the bill has become a routine example…
pharyngula | April 21, 2010Years ago, when my kids were little and easily impressed, we had a tradition of making pancakes on Sunday morning (better than church!). I'd sometimes go wild and make a mickey mouse pancake, or sometimes we'd have chocolate chip pancakes, but I never played around quite as much as Jim, who makes weird pancakes all the time. I like this one, for some reason.
pharyngula | April 20, 2010Wouldn't you know it: when advanced theo-scientists in Iran discover a dangerous principle, some godless American turns it into a Doomsday Weapon. The first test-firing is to occur on the 26th of April.
I plan to be cowering in my bed, afraid to step out. I recommend everyone stock up on vital supplies before the Apocaniptic Catitclysm. If we're really lucky, Minnesota will have a cold snap on the 26th, so we'll be spared.
pharyngula | April 18, 2010There is a whole collection of Skeptic Trump cards available on the web, and what do you know, I'm in there:
A bit chipmunky, but look: I have no worthy adversaries, and no arch nemesis! I guess I'll be scampering to the goal line unopposed, then. (I notice, though, that Dawkins' nemesis is Alister McGrath — that's like saying the biggest obstacle in your way is a blob of jello.)
pharyngula | April 15, 2010A church in Oklahoma is actually losing members over a crucifix on display. The problem is the artist has painted Jesus with a 'distended abdomen', or perhaps a six-pack (actually a four-pack in this case), that is making all the filthy-minded Catholics think of something else.
I'm looking at the dimensions of that thing and thinking that they also seem to have a highly unrealistic expectation of Jesus' endowment. Also that he gets aroused in very peculiar circumstances — who knew Jesus was a masochistic sub?
pharyngula | April 15, 2010When anyone other than a particle physicist talks about "quantum", it is almost always a magic word used to project a pseudoscientific aura onto sheer raving lunacy. "Quantum" as a prefix is almost universally used to signify that the noun it modifies is about to be made crazy stupid. So you know when you see something called the Quantum Bible, it's not going to be refined, elegant, coherent, or intelligent.
Here are the first bits of this rewritten version of the Bible. I'm being kind and sparing you the associated annotations, which are even longer than the text.
1 And behold the Great…
pharyngula | April 14, 2010I have no idea what this is. I was sent the photo by a reader who discovered it in a jungle of ferns on Hawaii. It looks vaguely familiar, but perhaps someone here can identify it.
I have a feeling this feature might turn into something like a county fair on Discworld, where people bring in odd-shaped turnips that have curiously titillating shapes when looked at just so.
pharyngula | April 13, 2010You're the first to meet an intelligent alien species. What are you going to do? Here's a brief, handy guide — I'll just excerpt a few points.
I like this idea: there's no way we're going to war with them. Our technologies will not be comparable, and we have to note the obvious: they'd be the ones with interstellar space flight, not us. So, yes, it will be a case of nuclear weapons vs. sponges, and we'd better be careful.
But there is one important matter to consider about the comparison. If you found a sponge on a beach crowded with sponges, how much remorse would you feel if you took a…
pharyngula | April 13, 2010There may be a few metal fans here and there…and this song is for you. If you don't enjoy music with lots of hoarse shouting and banging instruments into rocks, DO NOT PLAY THIS VIDEO. You will cry. I've got two sons, so I've been inured to this stuff — and at least this band, The Ocean, has intelligent lyrics.
Oh, you say, you couldn't hear the lyrics? Neither could I, because my ears were bleeding (but that's one of the desired effects of this genre, don't let it bother you). I had to look them up on the internet.
The Origin of Species
Yes, it's quite hard to believe
That we all come from…
pharyngula | April 13, 2010
The mayor of Malta is quite anxious to have a statue removed from a prominent place on the road from the airport, before the Pope arrives. He might be embarrassed, after all. That's the statue on the right; it's called "Colonna Mediterranea", and some people fear an obelisk is too phallic. Because, like everyone, when I see a giant green monument with multi-colored patches and a series of constrictions in it, I think of my penis.
The mayor shouldn't worry. The Pope and the Catholic Church have no shame.The statue might serve a useful purpose in reminding the Catholic entourage to get their…
pharyngula | April 11, 2010I've been getting a few odd, cryptic messages on twitter from someone calling himself @spiritualgenome. I looked him up to figure out what the heck he was babbling about, and found his web page. Turns out he's a crop circle nut, and you might find a few minutes amusement in his delusions.
Fascinating new discoveries by Russian molecular biologists have revealed that DNA has a mysterious resonance that has been termed the Phantom-DNA Effect. In addition these Russian researchers have found that DNA reacts to voice activated laser light when it is set at the specific frequency of the DNA itself…
pharyngula | April 11, 2010It seems that it might be safer to attend an Australian strip show than to go to church.
The latest data, compiled by the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, showed 1600 people were charged with committing a range of 27 offences in the state's "places of worship'' in 2008.
Surprisingly, the figures showed only 282 people were charged in premises classified as adult entertainment over the same offences.
Except — and I do hate to ruin a funny story — the newspaper article says nothing about the number of premises involved. I suspect that there may be many more churches than strip…
pharyngula | April 10, 2010But I will hit you with the Dugong Song.
You can blame my neighbor Ben who was singing it this afternoon.
pharyngula | April 9, 2010Jen, in response to someone making a line of clerical Barbie dolls, has created her own contribution: Atheist Barbie. She's kickin'.
I like her…although if word gets out that pants are not part of the atheist outfit, we're going to have a surge of male membership and all the women will stay home. The pants are optional, OK?
Now, though, we're missing someone important: where's Gaytheist Ken?
And don't get me started on G.I. Joe. They were always just a little too butch.
Get on the job, Mattel! I want these by Christmas!
pharyngula | April 8, 2010People of a certain age will remember thos "create your own adventure" books — well, Ars Technica has an online version of one, featuring tentacled beings from another plane, bacon, and geeks. It might go over well here.