Weirdness
pharyngula | August 23, 2007If they aren't singing about the drugs they take to make them work, they're wondering why their ex-wives set them on fire. I think I have a new explanation for the Fermi Paradox: the aliens are out there, but they're so freaked out and baffled by human sexual behavior that they don't want to get any closer than the orbit of Pluto. Or maybe the reason the alien Greys are hoovering up people and giving them anal probes is that they've got this twisted idea that that is how we say "hello."
(Yes, I am aware that those are two contradictory rationales.)
pharyngula | August 21, 2007It was one of those weekends. I really didn't need Bora's avant-garde camera work to add motion sickness on top of the painful auditory replay of … karaoke in New York. I am at least grateful that he didn't record Razib's unholy summoning of the slimy minions of the Great Old Ones.
pharyngula | August 20, 2007This sounds like it's got to be a spoof, but it's so weird it could also be true. Karl Rove's adoptive father was a cover model … for a magazine about genital piercing. That's fine by me, it's just that it does make me wonder what's going on in Karl Rove's head — an honest biography of the man would be fascinating.
pharyngula | August 20, 2007You know you've been overdoing the alcohol when you find yourself naked and half-eaten by bears.
A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
I do hope nothing happens to the bears. It's not their fault that they were offered a succulent meal, and took it.
pharyngula | August 18, 2007You may be wondering what I'm doing in New York. I'm not going to tell you, except that I will mention a dreaded phrase: late-night inebriated karaoke. Not me, sweet jebus, but there I was, overwhelmed with culture shock, in a karaoke bar, something I have never experienced before. Let me tell you, Dave can dance if he wants to, Janet does a pretty fair Liz Phair, Rich is an enthusiastic whoever-that-was, Chris truly is angry drunk Dylan, and Bora is hereafter known as monotone Elvis, but Razib stole the show with a flawless, pitch perfect impersonation of a goat on psilocybin being anally…
pharyngula | August 15, 2007
If Pastor Drake's curses are fizzling, I know exactly what he needs: a blessed medallion made from an eggplant to potentiate his jebus-power. It's true: this miracle occurred spontaneously, and is exactly the holy artifact any righteous smiter would want on his side.
I will also call your attention to an important and obvious fact: this eggplant did not say "Gott" or "Dieu" or "Dios" or "Ðог" or "Deus" or "Dio" or "ç¥" or "اÙÙÙ" — no, it says "God". Therefore, God chooses to speak in English.
Either that, or it's the natural language of eggplants.
pharyngula | August 11, 2007Bleh…it's been a too-busy day, and I've got very early morning travel to do, so here's something easy and mindless before I go to bed: make a lego version of yourself!
Man, I really gotta get a haircut soon.
pharyngula | August 10, 2007I'm being prayed for.
A prayer for the soul of PZ Meyers
Dear God of Enduring Love, The atheist evilutionist and liberal elite college professor PZ Meyers has lost The Way and says some of the MOST hateful things about Your Work on this Earth and Republic that it is easy to understand why good Christians would pray for the Absolute Damnation of his soul to an eternity in the Hellfire of the Beast. The darkness of his Soul must cause you at least as much pain as do the souls of Muslims and Jews. Dear God, please find in Your great Heart warmth to share in the heart of PZ Meyers, or…
pharyngula | August 8, 2007Baptists for Brownback are accusing me of satanic lies now, but I still haven't made their list of the hellbound.
I'm wondering if it's my trophy wife who is keeping me from the brink of damnation. She was brought up as a Baptist, after all, and the fact that she's still with me at least implies there is some hope for my salvation.*
*Mmmm…naaaah. No hope.
pharyngula | August 7, 2007A four year old girl fell and stuck a pencil in her brain. It's removed 55 years later.
I want to know if the surgeon sharpened it and used it to write out the bill afterwards.
pharyngula | August 6, 2007Carl Zimmer is collecting examples of scientists with tattoos having a science theme. Got a tattoo? Send him a picture!
There is a weird comment about reluctance to show off these things if you don't have tenure yet … I really don't think skin art is one of the considerations in tenure decisions, though. At least it's never come up in any of the reviews I've been involved in, although perhaps photos of artfully inked buttocks would enliven those often deadly dull tenure files.
pharyngula | August 5, 2007It's true — there probably isn't another "PZ Myers" in the country…at least, that's what the "Is this your name?" site says. Go ahead, plug your name in.
pharyngula | August 5, 2007This is the most perfect description of me on the interwebs.
Pharyngula is a blog run by a science professor named P.Z Myers. Not only does Mr Myers believe in the fantasy of evilution, but every year he milks thousands and thousands of dollars out of the education system to indoctrinate children into his hateful cult. Like most liberal educators at America's secular colleges, Myers lives a life of luxury at taxpayers' expense—taking long vacations with his trophy wife, driving expensive foreign cars, dressing his children in exclusive fashions—all the while promoting his vengeful and…
pharyngula | July 30, 2007
I would love to have a plush Anomalocaris, but this site is all in Japanese! Anyone know of an American source?
pharyngula | July 30, 2007Everyone has heard of the Boston Molasses Flood, right? That was horrific and weird, but it was outdone by the London Beer Flood: houses were demolished by the torrent, seven were dead by drowning, and one dead by alcohol poisoning. I am truly impressed by the opportunism and low standards of that one individual … if you witnessed a river of beer flowing down the street, would you scoop up enough of it to kill yourself with excess? I guess I'm finicky enough that I wouldn't stoop to cup a single handful to drink.
Unless it were a really good beer, that is.
(Does this story have some…
pharyngula | July 28, 2007First we had that Wisconsinite caught trying to have sex with roadkill in Minnesota. Then it was decreed that it is illegal to have sex with dead animals, which I'm sure has distressed many a leather fetishist. Now I learn that the three Wisconsin boys who conspired to dig up the body of a dead young woman in order to have sex with it can only be charged with misdemeanor attempted theft, because it is not illegal to commit necrophilia in Wisconsin. I guess necrophilia is a victimless crime, after all, and our disgust at the perpetrators isn't sufficient cause for serious criminal charges.…
pharyngula | July 28, 2007This is just a slideshow of album covers for the most annoying songs of all time, and it's fairly safe to view—it doesn't actually play any music clips. I was just thinking (like an evil mad scientist—occupational hazard, you know) that if someone did string together the musical hooks for all of those bad songs, you'd either get the most devastating earworm ever, or they'd all just cancel each other out and you might get an earworm cure. Anyone want to try the experiment?
(via that Chimpanzee Refuge)