From the TheScian.com August Newsletter:
I want to share an incident that happened yesterday at my 3 year old neice's birthday party. A few families were invited and the kids were playing inside an inflated house - they call that bouncy-castle - with two entranes through which the kids could crawl in. The kids were jumping around and I was aghast to notice my neice and her friend (another little girl) gang up against their classmate, a little boy, and effectively bully him from entering the inflated house for almost 10 minutes. If kids were adults they would break each other's heads in an instant. This incident reminded me of William Golding's first novel Lord of the Flies which so devastatingly captured the brutal life of a society run by children. Golding was a school teacher and that may have helped. (If you haven't read Golding, I recommend The Inheritors).
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bullying is rife amongst so many societies today- i blame capitalism :-) both my foster kids are targeted at their primary and high school...and then try to bring it home.
one strategy i use is to name the "bully behaviour" as either just that, or as Mike TV (charlie and the chocolate factory) for my boy of 9, and "bully-pig behaviour (animal farm) for my girl of 14. i then ask them to ask the bully behaviour to leave, or to sit on the step for 5 minutes until it goes. At the extreme i "shoo" the bully behaviour off my property.
helping kids learn to set their boundaries on how they want to be treated is a primary concern for us over at www.imaginif.com.au The child protection forum and blog have specific sections to share info on how to cope with bullying.
come visit!
char
I once worked in a preschool. The 4 year olds had a great method of dealing with a child who was sort of a bully. Every time this child came over and tried to join in whatever the others were playing one child would appear to silently signal the others. They'd clean up whatever they were playing, and move on to a different activity. The ring leader in this effort was of course the child us adults least expected, a very shy, and quiet little girl. Their method of dealing with this bullying child was much more effective than anything the adults had ever tried with this boy.