Guilt mitigated by Spring

By palmd on March 16, 2009.

I woke up yesterday morning feeling almost rested, but something was missing. During the week, I don't have time to have coffee at home, but on the weekend, I love to brew a pot and slowly enjoy it while reading my Sunday feeds, writing, or putting together the PalCast. On this morning, I was to be disappointed. Our kitchen is no more, having been fatally wounded earlier by water damage, and now having been completely removed in preparation for rebuilding. As a consequence, I have nowhere to grind and brew my coffee. Not to be deterred, I brought PalKid her breakfast and took off for the cafe. I love going to cafes, something that has become rare for me. I sat down with a mug of joe, took out my laptop, and started working on my podcast.

Two hours later, I realized my daughter was probably ready for lunch (no, she was not home alone; it was my wife's turn to sleep in). I came home and found her comfortably settled in front of the TV. She had managed to dress, in a way---she was wearing brown wool tights with various designs on them and a black and white "peace sign" t-shirt. I felt terribly guilty, having let my child sit in front of the TV for several hours, brain slowly melting. I felt I should take her for one of our hikes, but I was so damned tired. We cuddled for a while, and it was wonderful, but my guilt grew. Finally, her cousin came over to play. At that point, she noticed how nice it had become outside (she reminded me that it was only six more days until Spring). The neighbor's kids came over, and she ended up playing tag, swinging, and running around for hours (without a coat!).

I think I can deal with my guilt now. I hate being so tired that I can't take my daughter for a hike. There's nothing like watching your kid discover the outdoors, especially on the first nice day of the year.

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Fatherhood

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