Fruit Bats Join Short List of Creatures Who Dig Fellatio!

Oral sex is a rarity in the animal kingdom with just a handful of species (humans, bonobos) who participate in the act. Well, move over high-functioning primates because there's a new, high-fellating mammal on the bj circuit, the short-nosed fruit bat. Yeah, we get it, "short-nosed..." We seriously can't make this stuff up.

Random Fact #265: Due to the terms of his Federal plea bargain, Andrew is actually not allowed to watch this video!

Apparently, according to the paper recently published in PLoS ONE, about 70% of female short-nosed fruit bats engage in oral sex with their partners. Furthermore, "a positive relationship exists between the length of time that the female licked the male's penis during copulation and the duration of copulation." This may indicate that females who engage in fellatio may be, in fact, improving the likelihood of fertilization.

Just to recap the findings: All females, of any species, who engage in fellatio increase their genetic fitness. That will be all, thank you.

P.S. NVDH in da house.
P.P.S. We cannot WAIT to use Google Analytics to see what combination of words people entered into Google that led them to this post!

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Not So True Story

After leaving law enforcement one Bernard P. Fife eventually ended up at San Diego CA classic rock station KGB as deputy program director. During his stint there he had a number of adventures, one of which included trying to get a certain local celebrity to come down to the studios for an interview. Being Barney Fife he naturally annoyed the heck out of the man, up to the point where the fellow was about ready to strangle the deputy program director.

Finally the victim of Fife's attentions agreed to an in studio interview, under one condition. Barney would be tied naked to a stop in a field overnight. Sure of his powers of endurance, Fife agreed to this.

So the night passed, and the potential interviewee went out to see how things had gone for Deputy Program Director Barney Fife. What he saw when he arrived horrified him. For Fife was haggard and distraught, worn to a frazzle and sobbing hysterically. More than a little concerned he asked, "What happened? It wasn't that cold last night. As a matter of fact I slept practically naked myself, with the windows wide open."

Fife shook his head and replied, "That wasn't the problem." Indicating a nearby calf he added, "That poor fellow there's an orphan."

Come on... you call that bat porn? 5555

Here's the REAL thing... from Disney's wild animal kingdom of all places:

By the way... my wife is saying, in Thai, with a few English words mixed in:
"That's very very disgusting! Why you smiling?! Enough!!"
(that's me laughing quietly in the video)

I get hits every day from people searching "animal penis" into Google (usually with a spelling mistake or two), who find this crappy little post I did once. I always wonder what they were actually looking for... and one day I will write a post entirely dedicated to animal penises and lo, their quest will be ended.

My chinchilla does this all the time all by himself