Emma's Hell on Utøya

I wanted to share a compelling personal account of the tragedy at Utøya, from 18 year old Emma Martinovic, county leader of the AUF in Western College, the Labour Party's youth organization.

This is not for the faint of heart - it is provided word for word after editing out the Norwegian text. {Note that Google Translator misses a couple words .}

Have decided to create this blog, actually most of my own. need to have a place to write. I'm going to write from the minute bastard started shooting at the minute I was safe. I'm going to explain bad events that may be hard to read. The images in my head is still unclear, things have not yet been installed.

We were all gathered in the great hall, we were talking about the Oslo tragedy, the explosion. A half hour later, I sent a message to my friend Annie, "you can get in the cafeteria?" she came and we were planning to go down to the tents to pick up my mobile phone charger. Suddenly, we all run, no one says a thing but all runs. Then I took hold of Annie, said, "run" then all began to yell "run run run".

Then I heard something approaching missiles and thought who the hell names there that mess with this now. Then came the shots. First a shot, then more. We race through the woods, and came to the waterfront. All took hold of mobile phones, called police but did not come through, all called home without getting coverage. We heard the shots were farther away from us and thought he must be on the other side of the island, we let ourselves down in the grass and hoped for the best. I said people had to be quiet, and we had to disperse us.

I ran first alone, then I discovered Annie, grabbed her and ran. We found a friend also came to, we had 4 pieces. We hid ourselves in a rock wall, or we tried. Fucker could have happened to us and shot us, he could have come from both sides, we saw nothing from the angle we were in.

It felt like several hours, but it was minutes. Then insert the messages on my cell, "where are you? Are you hiding? I'm so in love with you", etc. Then came the message from my girlfriend Pernille, "he is at the schoolhouse, he shoots at the door. We are 30 items that have hidden ourselves. are you safe? " I answered as briefly as I could, "how does he look? Are there more Scythians? Is he on the way to you? we are hidden but not safe" So I finally got the description of him, he was in police uniform and had a weapon, some had seen that they were two pieces. Were then told that he was coming towards us.
I collected my hands and talking to God, I tried once to keep the others quiet. So I decided to send a message to the leader of the AUF, confirmed that he was in good condition. so I asked "what shall we do? we are 4 pieces hidden in a rock wall" was then only a short answer "swim out" I took hold of the other three and said we had to swim out.
I wanted to assure me that it was safe, I first went out to the water's edge as I see one lying with his head down in the water. I wade out while I look over me and pray to God. I lifted him, put him on the water's edge, takes off his cap, I see that it was a mate. I see the shot in his head, but I had no time to react. I kiss him on the cheek and wade back to the rock face "my". When I see more AUF'ere tucked along the water's edge, and I wade out. Telling them that I have talked with the manager and that we should swim out. I ask the girls bring their credentials in bra and other valuables that can be identified to them. I explain that I have planned a route, we swim far out so that the fucker does not have visibility to shoot at us, even to the right where there is another island and we can land on.
I see all starts to undress, everyone knows it's hard to swim with clothes. Before I went out to swim so I sent a message to the mom, dad, brother and my best friend Robin. I and another swimmer into the water first, and assures me that people come for. It was cold, I felt the cold freezing inside me but focused on keeping their heads above water. I hear people crying that they panic, I'm screaming "keep your head above water, swim out! BREATH!" as I lie on my back, looking out towards the island, where I see bastard. He is in police uniform, he has blond hair, is white skin, I see police cap, I see the weapon. So it seemed like he looked at us, then charged him. Poof, one in front of me was shot, I saw blood pouring out, I swam faster. So I lie on my back again, and look he shoots right down to those who have not yet come out of the water. Just like he realized that he could not see us in the water as he took under him.

I see a buddy about to jump out, and the second, he was shot. In the distance I could see and hear, 2 shots, right in the head. I saw the "explosion" to his head, I saw he was split in two. I saw panic at all, I wanted to land and push everyone into the water or have them run. I tried, I screamed "Swim OR RACE!" but nothing new, it was so much noise. Helicopter over us and that bastard shot.

I lay on my stomach again, so I felt the panic came on me. I knew that my islands would close and the water slowly filled up inside me. I knew my head would go backwards, I felt pain. Then came the panic in my breath, I breathed too fast. Suddenly I hear someone screaming "Emma, I fall together" behind me, it was a girlfriend, I gritted my teeth and swam back, told her "breath. Breath for me and you, breathe, I'm on the road." I took her on his shoulders and said she would swim with their feet. We swam together. I breathed easy. I said within myself, "a swimming cap on mom, one for dad, one for little brother, one for Robin. They are all waiting for me on land." While I talked to her on my back. Suddenly she said "Emma, you're bleeding in the arm" I looked down at my left hand, I see blood. I try to focus on swimming on, I understood why it was so painful in the left arm but would not stop.

Behind me I heard more shots, I heard the screams, I heard the laughter of bastard when he was shot, I heard him yell at us "you will not get away!" I heard everything. So says my friend that she will swim itself, she swam by me and breathed calmly, she was really good. It felt like everything happened for several hours, but I know it was a matter of minutes.

There was a boy swimming with me, I look at him and says "you're small, so your ability to swim," he looks at me and says "Dad is dead," I replied, "do not look behind you, swim to Daddy. you are very clever "as he answers me" I thought the police were kind I .. I collapsed in tears, but focused on providing motivation. The three swam together all the time, I put myself on the back so I can see there are fewer and fewer behind me, I see the fucker even shoot. I say "do not look behind you, swim forward" As I said it so listen and I see a boat, we swim faster.

All three shouted "Thank God. Thank God!" " I waved, I screamed "help. Over here!" I said to my friend and the boy that I swim only forward, in case the boat was a lure trick of the bastard that shot. We could not trust anyone! I watched as he lifted me into the boat, he said "you are safe" he hugged me and asked if there was more out there. We drove out to my girlfriend and kid, I said "come on, it is safe," There were several AUF'ere on the boat. All cried, and everyone screamed. We were finally in safe hands, we were going to land and homes.

The boat trip felt like an eternity, and we saw the killer shoot. We sat on the floor so we would not be hit, and finally we saw land. I took the kid first over, then myself, the rest of the gang. We were greeted with a towel and safe hands. I collapsed, I screamed "we are going home. I am confident, we are safe" and hylgråt.

We sat in a car and drove directly to the hospital. That's when I discovered the wound, I saw the blood through the towel. I saw the hole and said, "I've been shot." We drove as fast as we could and finally we were promoting in the hospital. I was taken by doctors, was told to undress and put on my "hospital clothes" so I was placed in a warm bed. Then the doctor came and studied my wound. He tells me that I had not been in the water so it would have been worse, that the cartridge will lose power and speed as it approaches the water. Fucker must have fired at me and then the cartridge is in water and put in my arm. The doctor said that probably saw the ball fall out but it was leftovers. They got into small pieces with forceps and gave me blood flow and heat in the body. Jeg I got everything I needed. Phone to call home, food, heat, water, clothing, etc.
Now the only thing that went in my head "what about the others?" We were the first in the hospital and I was super nervous about the others. I shivered in bed and tears flowed like a waterfall. I tried to sleep but it was of course impossible. Then call FVN to the hospital and would talk to me, I said it was okay. It had not even dawned on me what had happened, I had not even realized it.

After the interview, I was crying for myself, I saw myself in the mirror and cried. I asked my doctor about someone from the College had come in, I got the response "it seems like you're the only one from the College who have given signs of life" I hylgråt and thought the worst. Then I told the doctor that I would be left out and that I and several who were in the hospital should be taken to a hotel nearby. Before I went out as I glanced at the clock, half 9 I calculated in my head, and I must have swum from 17.30 to 20.00. I could not believe it, sometimes it felt like eternity, and other times as minutes. In nearly two hours we were out and swam, completely unreal.

I sat in the taxi with several AUF'ere, but no one I knew. I began to think the worst, I just cried and cried. All began to taxi to talk about what they had seen, and it was completely unreal. When I came out of the taxi as I hear someone say "Emma?" I felt my heart pounding and was so glad to that someone recognized me. I turn and see a buddy from Hedmark, Nadil. I run against Nadil and hugging him for dear life. Then I whispered in my ear that our mutual best friend is dead. I cried on his shoulders, I just cried and cried. Until I know more people are taking hold of me and I see many friends that are there. "Thank God" is everything I say, all the time. It was so lovely to see them live, it was fantastic. I began to ask for people and I ask as I see they are walking in front of me. They all run against each other and we are hugging each other so hard. . Joys and sorrows were the feelings that went around then.

So I started to think about deligasjonen mine, I was deligasjonsleder and felt so much responsibility for them. I ran into the building, and the first face I see is my friend from deligasjonen, Janne. We ran against each other and screamed, we cried and cried, we hugged each other so hard. " As we stand there as I hear again "EMMA?! EMMAAAA ???!!" I turn and look more from deligasjonen, they run towards me. and they're all crying, we take a group hug. I feel the tears flowing, I've never cried so much. Suddenly, I count those who hugs me, then I say "we are missing two ???!!" and when I confirmed that two were missing.

It took several hours around the hotel, I look for all the tears fell when we finally found each other. I spoke with several county leaders who were my closest colleagues, some missing 7 other 2 and some not. There was mourning everywhere. Everyone said "I will sign me out from the AUF, everything called politics" and someone said "I can not bear to see the police around here. It's terrible," All talk of hatred, grief, joy for living, tears flowed. I have no words.

During the evening we had food, clothes from Norwegian People's Aid, the hotel gave us everything and we are so grateful. Me and Jane slept in the same room, and we were cold and shit all night. There has been absolutely terrible!

Words are so poor in this context. What I feel and say? I can not say anything except thank you, thank you for the concern thank you so nice words, nice message, nice flowers, fine gifts. Thank you for everything. I am so grateful while I weep in sorrow for all those I have lost. Many of my friends from other counties are dead and several are missing. I can not understand it.

It has not even dawned on me what I have been swimming from, and what I have seen. I see on TV ang event and can not understand it. I see pictures from the island, and I see the camera from the helicopter that was on us. No, I can not understand it. It has not even dawned on me, phsykisk. It takes NOK several days but I notice it on the body.
I'm so tired. I notice the pain. I see the face of the fucker every time I close the islands, I hear his laughter, I hear the shots. I look behind me all the time and I run when I hear loud noises. I think all the time, I can not shed a tear. Feels like it's so empty inside me, I have not even gotten to the stage. I just think, I think of all the missing and dead. I think of myself as I swam, I think that I live. I think that I look forward to seeing all my friends here in Kr.sand that I can hug and thank God that I have seen them, but I make sure they never get to see again and think about the past memories.

Before I conclude I would say, I'm not going to sign me out of politics. Fucker will not stop us, we will not give. We will not be silent! I have so many questions, I have so wanted to meet him again, see him without weapons. I have so much to ask, and I know more people. What was he thinking? All, I need to ask if everything but know I never get answers. Imagine that he took on a uniform to represent security and support, he abused the trust our police. The uniform gives me the fear, sorrow, hatred and all bad feelings. This is so difficult, but we AUF will make it. "We all, all for AUF" We are here for each other, no one is alone. I send warm thoughts to all families, and thank you again for your support.