Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

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In this video, ONN reports on a newly published study indicating that repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health and longevity [1:08]

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Clearly a ploy by BigPharma to market anti-stabbing drugs to people who don't need them.

this is animal abuse. where's PETA when you need them??

this is satire. where is intelligence when you need it??

"This is animal abuse!"
*beat*
"THIS IS SATIRRRE!" *kicks*

By PhatChance (not verified) on 10 Jul 2009 #permalink

This is a joke right? wtf?

This is a joke right? wtf?

its the onion news... of course its real

I like the ticker at the bottom.

Giraffe mauling tops the list of least likely way to die.

Phoenix, AZ the most likely city to die in during a layover.

I didn't hear how much the monkeys bled. They need to do another study to see how much blood each money looses per stab wound. Will a monkey bleed out after two stab wounds? three?

By news ticker (not verified) on 11 Jul 2009 #permalink

Seriously? You can hurt animals just by stabbing them? That's some groundbreaking news there.

this has to be satire.

Just an FYI. The Onion is a website made ONLY for sarcasm.