tags: Stouffer's, frozen microwave meals, single-serving meals, suicide prevention tips, humor, funny, satire, fucking hilarious, Onion News Network, ONN, streaming video
Stouffer's, the company that manufactures frozen microwavable meals, now includes suicide prevention tips on all single-serving dinners whether you enjoy eating your veal parmigiana or beef stroganoff alone.
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OK, I admit that frozen meals taste pretty bad in general, but I wouldn't go as far as to assume you'd have to be suicidal to eat one occasionally.
Not suicidal, but possibly depressed:
The Onion focuses on the stereotype of single-serving meals being eaten by people who live alone. Other than that, though, the symptoms of depressive disorder can include appetite loss, lethargy and an inability to enjoy pleasant things; all of these might make people choose instant microwave meals instead of cooking or eating at a restaurant. (Not to mention that people who have little time to spend on meals often lead stress-filled lives.)
Nevertheless, this idea is still kind of ridiculous. :P
I respectfully disagree. I find a lot of them to be quite tasty, especially the Healthy Choice "steam fresh" ones or Lean Cuisine variety. My fiance and I both take one to work almost every day because it's faster and, if you buy them on sale, cheaper than making your own.
At 300-400 calories, it's a lot healthier than fast food too.
@Arancaytar: The Onion's writers seem to like the general theme of pathetic people leading utterly banal middle-class American lives-- see also Jean Teasdale's column, though she's far too chipper/in denial to be suicidal.