Mike Adams is a real scientist, dammit, and he will save us from "toxins"!

Well, wouldn't you know it? Mike Adams thinks he's an actual scientist!

Regular readers are all too familiar with Mike Adams, a.k.a. The Health Ranger, arguably the most quacktastic site on the Internet. Sure, Joe Mercola is probably the most trafficked quackery site on the Internet, but, being number two (or number three or four, I'm not sure), Mike Adams definitely tries harder. In addition, Joe Mercola steers mostly clear of politics and non-medical pseudoscience. Sure, he promotes just as much quackery as Mike Adams does, if not more, but he doesn't delve into Tea Party-drenched New World Order conspiracy mongering the way Adams does. Indeed, Adams regularly appears on the network of the über-crank to rule all über-cranks, Alex Jones. You know that if a person is considered "worthy" to appear on Alex Jones's network, he is among the most elite of cranks. To borrow a term from recent political parlance, you know he's a member of the 1% when it comes to crankery. To prove it, he also "questions" evolution and a couple of years ago he produced a short film that portrayed science as the inevitable gateway to the Holocaust.

Three months ago, Mike Adams tried to represent himself as Real Scientist, and, according to one of my favorite clichés, hilarity ensued. For example, he decided that PubMed was too broad a source to spread his message, given that it actually publishes articles that counter his message; so he decided to try to create his own version of PubMed. Next, he decided that he wanted to show how evil McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are. Now, this in and of itself isn't necessarily such a bad thing, although it needs to be repeated that no one is claiming that McNuggets are health food, not even McDonald's. So Adams bought some McNuggets, looked at them under his stereomicroscope, and made a video. In it, he was shocked—shocked, I say!—that they looked weird and alien when magnified a couple of hundred times. Actually, I probably shouldn't be quoting that classic scene from the movie Casablanca, because in that scene it was obvious that no one was shocked at all that gambling was going on at Rick's American Cafe. In marked contrast, Mike Adams appeared truly shocked at seeing fibers and strand-like objects that he naturally identified as Morgellons fibers. Never mind that they were probably nothing more than dust, perhaps flour, and almost certainly pepper or other seasoning. Adams had a real microscope, and he wasn't afraid to use it (although he was completely incompetent at it).

Yes, Mikey thinks he's a real scientist now. If you don't believe me, just check out a post from a couple of days ago over at his repository of all things quackery and political hackery, NaturalNews.com, entitled Health Ranger releases first photo from the Natural News Forensic Food Lab. Apparently, this is where the "ground breaking" research that Adams promised to reveal on January 7, 2014 is going on. I've been very curious about just what the heck it is that Adams is brewing in his home brew laboratory. Incompetently performed science, no doubt, but what and how entertainingly incompetent will it be? I rather suspect it will be epic. Right now, this article is complete with a picture of Adams sitting in front of a lab bench with a feces-eating (sorry, no more profanity allowed here at ScienceBlogs, at least not by the bloggers) grin on his face and gloating:

At the request of many readers and fans, I'm releasing the first official photo from the Natural News Forensic Food Lab (see below). So many readers have been asking what I'm up to with the food science research and pending announcement on January 7, 2014 that I wanted to give you this photo plus an update on the research.

What you're looking at in the photo is part of an atomic spectroscopy laboratory with extraordinary capabilities including parts per trillion detection of atomic elements as well as advanced, high-level isotopic ratio analysis capabilities. Somewhere in the background there's also a collection of Ion-Selective Electrodes with various testing capabilities.

I'm not yet showing you all the instrumentation, but anyone who knows their way around a lab can probably recognize the peri pump in this photo and figure out what it's attached to. (Hint: It's worth more than a Lamborghini...)

The red object on the workbench with the open lid is a standard centrifuge. This one happens to be capable of 10,000G. The notes on the whiteboard in the background are reminders for spotting polyatomic interferences. If you want to know what polyatomic interferences are (and get a quick look at some of the chemistry I'm running), check out this article at SpectroscopyOnline.com.

Looking at the equipment behind Adams, I can't say that I'm particularly impressed. Ion-selective electrodes? I was playing with ion-selective electrodes back in the day when I was a chemistry major. As for the desktop centrifuge? Seriously? He's bragging about a desktop centrifuge? I have a desktop centrifuge, and I'm not even a chemist. My lab minions and I use it for spinning down bacteria, doing plasmid maxipreps and a variety of other things. As for the piece of equipment that costs "more than a Lamborghini, it's hard to believe that Adams bought inductively coupled plasma–mass spectrometer (ICP-MS). Mass spectroscopy is a technique that produces spectra of the masses of the atoms and/or molecules comprising a sample of material. Basically, MS ionizes the molecules and measures what is known as the mass-to-charge ratio, from which the molecular weight of the atom or molecule can be determined. The signal is produces by a mechanism that can detect charged particles, and the relative abundance of ions is determined. These can be correlated with known masses and characteristic fragmentation patterns demonstrated by various molecules.

According to Adams:

Throughout 2013, I've been heavily engaged in high-level analytical chemistry and atomic spectroscopy training and research. On January 7, 2014, I will begin announcing a series of food science breakthroughs that, as promised, will reshape the food industry and absolutely revolutionize personal health. Based on what we are about to announce, every individual who seeks outstanding health, amazing cognitive function, healthy offspring, longevity and freedom from chronic disease will now have a powerful, transformative new science-based paradigm from which to accomplish those goals with clarity and consistency.

This research completes my own transition from activist to scientist, and it also signifies a radical reshaping of the editorial focus of NaturalNews.com onto transformative solutions for personal and planetary health.

Sure it does. I'd love to know where Adams is getting his "high level" training from. It's really sad that someone with so little knowledge can afford what sounds like some really nice equipment. On the other hand, one wonders why he doesn't show the whole lab, one does. Maybe because if he did, it wouldn't be nearly as impressive as he makes it sound. Perhaps he has old, second-hand equipment. Perhaps it's not set up right (very likely). Perhaps there's not as much there as he advertises. Who knows?

Be that as it may, I used to work in a spectroscopy laboratory part time back when I was in medical school. We did infrared (IR) spectroscopy, NMR spectroscopy, and, of course, MS. I generally ran the NMR spectrometer (this was back in the 1980s before NMR was renamed "magnetic resonance imaging") and occasionally the IR; I didn't run the MS. However, I learned a bit about how it is done. MS is a lot more sophisticated than it was 28 years ago; these days it's possible to get meaningful information from the spectra of macromolecules like proteins. (Come to think of it, these days it's now possible to get meaningful information from the NMR spectra of macromolecules.) I'm not an expert, but I know that there are lots of issues that can interfere with obtaining good spectra and using them to accurately identify the molecules and atoms within the specimen. The potential for introducing biases is great, and bias can be introduced at the level of sample collection, preparation, and storage protocols, as well as instrument settings. One wonders who in Mikey's lab is actually taking care of all of this. From this article it would appear that it's Adams himself. If that is the case, and if MS data are going to be part of the "revelation" scheduled for January 7, that revelation is likely to be even more rich with entertainment value than I anticipate it will be now, particularly given some of the comments after the article, such as the commenter who requested

Could you please Mass Spec some water that falls from the sky after a heavy chemtrail day? I'd really like to know what the fallout contains - as I am sure MANY other people would.

Yes, Mike. Please do. I always love primo new blogging material.

Of course, Adams tells us that this is all Real Science, not a stunt:

The glasses on my head are lab safety glasses. I'm also wearing protective gloves, but you can't see them in the photo. Unwisely, I sometimes conduct R&D in the lab wearing a short-sleeved shirt instead of a long-sleeved lab coat. (I've decided the lab coat is just too cumbersome...)

The important thing to note here is that this lab is not theater. This isn't a green screen setup, and it's not a bunch of fake props. In fact, at the moment this photo was taken, some of the systems in the background were actually running.

This is real science, maaaaan! I swear it is! These are not mere machines that go ping!

I do, however, wonder if OSHA is aware of Adams' laboratory. There are lots of regulations to which anyone running a lab has to adhere to protect the safety of the workers. There are also a lot of regulations regarding how chemical and biological waste can be disposed of. If you work for a university or a company, the university or company takes care of all of this. If you run a lab, you're responsible for adhering to all the OSHA and EPA regulations, lest workers be hurt or the groundwater be contaminated with toxic chemicals or radioisotopes. The State of Texas might also be interested (Adams is in Austin these days, I believe). I mean, seriously. Adams should be wearing a lab coat when working int he lab! A black T-shirt might show off his physique, but it won't protect him from accidental splashes.

It's still not entirely clear what Adams is going to do with all this equipment, either real or fantastical. Or, at least it wasn't. I think it's becoming clearer in the wake of yesterday's post by Adams, entitled Health Ranger: I was poisoned by chronic exposure to toxic elements lurking in organic foods:

You may have heard some rumors that I discovered I've been exposed to a chronic, accumulative, low level of toxic elements (poisons) over the last couple of years. This rumor is true, and over the last several months, I have been able to identify the sources of those poisons and remove them from my diet and my environment. Some of these poisons are still coming out of my hair and urine, but overall levels have dropped dramatically. At no time were the exposures acute. I'm talking about an ongoing low level of exposure that builds up over time, not an emergency level at any one time.

Well, that certainly explains a lot about Mike Adams!

Actually, maybe not. As tempting as it is to speculate that Adams' bizarre beliefs and behavior are the product of some sort of poisoning, no doubt these "toxins" are nothing more than the fantastical alt-med "toxins" (or, as I like to call them, pseudotoxins or fantasy toxins) treated by quackeries as varied as naturopathy, traditional Chinese medicine, and various others. These are the "toxins," such as "heavy metal" poisoning (I still think that would be a great name for a band) produced in every human being who is subjected to "provocative testing" with chelation therapy. However, now, Adams knows he was being poisoned by all manner of horrific things:

What's also shocking is that you, too, are almost certainly being chronically poisoned in the way I was being poisoned, and details on all this will be forthcoming as part of our announcements in 2014. I can assure you that you are being exposed to surprising levels of cadmium, lead, mercury, copper, aluminum and even uranium -- another element that I am now finding at trace levels in nearly all food. (And yes, I will report more details on that later, too... we are all eating FALLOUT!)

Oh. My. God. Not FALLOUT!!!!

Here, we can see a hint at what's coming January 7. Believers like alt-med quackery like Mike Adams have never been very clear on the concept of "the dose makes the poison." My guess is that Adams will be using his new super-sensitive equipment and finding the scariest metals and chemicals he can (like uranium and lead). That he will likely find them at trace levels that have no detectable adverse effect on health won't matter. He'll trumpet that he's found lead, cadmium, and even—gasp!—uranium in all sorts fo foods.

This tactic will also serve a double purpose. Notice how Adams is in particular targeting supplements, claiming that he was being "poisoned with high levels of aluminum from a dietary supplement that almost no one realizes is loaded with aluminum." In fact, this reminds me of the time that Adams, in a fit of conscience, issued "consumer warnings" about Adya Clarity, sold by a guy named Matt Monarch, who is big in the alt-med field of promoting raw vegan diets as a panacea. When last I wrote about this, I asked:

Could Adams’ newfound concern for science, supplement safety, and potential heavy metal toxicity be something as simple as eliminating a competitor? Inquiring minds want to know.

In retrospect, I think it was, with Adams taking advantage about other questions about Adya Clarity in order to use his website clout to eliminate a competitor. This is what I think is going on now, with Adams' impending "scientific breakthrough" on January 7. Starting January 7, Adams will publish on his website "findings" of trace amounts of all sorts of horrific-sounding metals and chemicals. Whether it's accurate or not doesn't matter to him, just that it trumpets the message that our current food is hopelessly "contaminated" with "toxins" and that those "toxins" are slowly poisoning us, as he claims they poisoned him.

Then will come the sales pitch. He will tell us that you can "detoxify" yourself the same way he has and that you can find "toxin"-free food and supplements too. He'll then announce a line of supplements, foods, and other products that he will "certify" as free of those nasty metals like cadmium, uranium, lead, aluminum, and all the rest. I could be wrong, but somehow I suspect I'm not. We shall find out in a mere month.

More like this

Back in December, I was excited. The reason I was excited was because everybody's favorite über-Libertarian, New World Order conspiracy theorist quack, Mike Adams, a.k.a. The Health Ranger, had made an announcement. That announcement was that on January 6, 2014 Adams would announce astonishing "…
I don't know how I missed this one, given that it's over two weeks old, but I did. Since yesterday was a holiday in the US and I had done a long post the day before because something that happened on Friday had really irritated me, I figured I might as well take a stab at this because it represents…
My state is screwed up, and the epicenter of the fallout from the dysfunctional mess that is the Michigan state government is the city of Flint. As you probably recall, around the holidays a story that had previously been mainly a Michigan story broke nationally in a big way. It is the story of how…
It's Christmas Eve, and the blogging is light. I was going to have some fun with a truly ridiculous—is there ever any other kind?—segment on Dr. Oz's show in which he actually combined a quack and a psychic with some EEGs to become a "100% believer" in psychic scammer "Long Island Medium" Theresa…

I am reminded of a particular quote from "MST3K - the Movie"

[as Cal and Joe assemble the Interositor]

Crow T. Robot: Science and Industry!

Tom Servo: See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM!

Crow T. Robot: Build your very own Atom Storage Box!

Mike: Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology!

Crow T. Robot: Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really, really works.

Lol @ Lawrence, "NORMAL VIEW!"

Seriously, does anyone know explicit location? I will get on the phone with OSHA so fast...

By AnObservingParty (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Based on what we are about to announce, every individual who seeks outstanding health, amazing cognitive function, healthy offspring, longevity and freedom from chronic disease will now have a powerful, transformative new science-based paradigm from which to accomplish those goals with clarity and consistency. [emphasis added]

You keep using that word, Mr. Adams. I don't think it means what you think it means.

As for that line from Casablanca, nobody is really shocked about the gambling, the way Mikey seems to be about trace amounts of heavy metals in food. IIRC the next two lines from Casablanca are:

Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Renault: Thank you.

By Eric Lund (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

He's also got notes up there for gas/no gas mode.

You know, things you learn before you actually start using the equipment, so you don't have a cheat sheet on your whiteboard.

I'll bet that someone here can find his address.

Orac, he claims that he got his equipment at cut rate costs because it was sold off as surplus from university websites ( e.g. an Hg drenched polarograph analyser @ 100 USD from U of Michigan IIRC) so the spectrometer wouldn't cost as much as a Lamborghini- perhaps more like a VW or even less.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Even if he got it cheap, service contracts on expensive equipment are not cheap, and repairs on them even less so, so he better hope he can maintain them properly and hope nothing goes wrong.

By Nick Theodorakis (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

At no time were the exposures acute

My stock of irony meters just decided to go into spontaneous combustion. This from the guy complaining about traces of about anything in vaccines.
Come on, there was an uranium atom in your organic apple. That's one too many dude!
(actually, do you know that apples are apparently good at chelating heavy metals?)

Or maybe your glassware was dirty and you just leached off the dust on it. That's why it dropped after you "adjusted" your diet. Excuse me for asking, but did you do a negative control?

another element that I am now finding at trace levels in nearly all food.

I rest my case.
Newflash: everything on Earth is covered with dust. Including our organic food.
Next at 8pm: You have germs everywhere.

Re: ICP-MS. If he is somehow following common sample preparation, I hope he took some precaution against the acidic fumes his samples will be releasing after mineralization. I have seen a brand new, but poorly-ventilated instrument developing a bad case of rust in a 6-month period.
If he is not careful enough while playing chemist, I can predict him another case of "ongoing low level of exposure" by next year.

I'm trying to decide if it's condescending on my part to pity the poor use he will do toying with these instruments. I'm sure there is a university lab somewhere which would have welcomed some analytical instruments in working conditions - not to mention all of these hectoliters of argon an ICP-MS is sucking up daily (flow of about 15 L/min).
Well, he can prove me wrong by showing himself somehow competent at using these instruments.
If not, he will have his picture in the dictionary under "cargo cult science".

By Helianthus (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

That's the January blues taken care of - cant wait

"freedom from chronic disease"

It's interesting how these quacktastic CAMsters paint the entire population as perennially stricken with chronic disease. If this were true, I suspect that would result in reduced lifespans, mass die-offs, dwindling populations and the eventual extinction of the species.

Mike Adams - A real scientist? Not bloody likely!

By Skeptical_Canadian (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

ICP-MS? Pffft! I use a Laser Ablation ICP-MS at work! It's got a frickin' laser!

(Seriously though, the laser costs as much as the ICP-MS, each were about $120K; at least that was the cost 6 years ago).

By Dave Ruddell (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Helianthus @ 7 :

Well, he can prove me wrong by showing himself somehow competent at using these instruments.
If not, he will have his picture in the dictionary under “cargo cult science”.

Given his track record with the McNuggets, I think I know which way this is likely to go. I wonder how easy it would be to make a plausible-looking mass spectrometer out of bamboo?

Meanwhile, over at Huffington Post, the vaccine wars continue in the comment section of the measles article, most of the way down the front page as of this writing.

By palindrom (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

I've been thinking about this for a while....

I read most of Mikey's balderdash and survey his (free) audios / videos as well as most of Null's (free) written and recorded tomfoolery so.....

besides enriching themselves by providing useless and sometimes dangerous health misinformation and products they also-

scare the h3ll out of their audience, creating stressful but unrealistic phobias about modern life and commercial products, these fall into a few categories-

-environmental- the air, water and soil are hopelessy contaminated/ and or depleted ( only Null shrieks about AGW's rising tides, severe droughts and intense storms) GMOs are spreading planet-wide in the toxic breeze
- social/ economic- the government is a police and/ or fascistic state, the economy is ready to implode/ tank, money is worthless, government is evil, gangs are taking over suburbs and investments are worthless
-medical/SBM- are not trustworthy
-the media- are not trustworthy
- the educational system- is not trustworthy
- commercial- most of the foods, supplements and personal products people buy are dangerous, will cause cancer and chronic illness etc.

Thus, their audiences withstand a constant assault in a climate of anxiety about most areas of their lives and a promise of a grim future with no one to depend on. Government, doctors, educators, media are all worthless liars.

I would assume that followers revisit these disinformation mills on a regular basis, experiencing discomfort and dread:
it reminds me a bit of h3llfire preachers of bygone days who frightened listeners about the wages of sin and the fires of the inferno and then, as relief, promise salvation contingent upon particular ways of thinking and behaving.

They scare readers into buying their ideas and products. They chastise 'greedy','wealthy' doctors, bankers and industrialists while living on estates that their loyal followers' money provided.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

"I’ve decided the lab coat is just too cumbersome" - speaks volumes. Mikey, that's not a costume. If you're doing anything that requires safety goggles, then put the coat on too.

A bit from my classroom: "scientist" is not a job title, nor a profession. Nor is it a status you can claim. It's something others call you, when and only when they respect your contributions.

By Ron Edwards (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Denice @12 -- I entirely agree, but it'd be good to clarify that unlike almost everything else he pushes, there actually is a very strong science case for AGW, and there are very good reasons to be worried about it.

By palindrom (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Please everybody, don´t try to stop his "research" by mentioning his "lab" to the authorities yet. I am much to curious about his breakthrough in January, and surely we all can do with a good laugh after the holidays are over.

Although, if he is working with such nasty substances as "water that falls from the sky after a heavy chemtrail day" then he might be in grave danger. He might get wet.

And one final thought, if he claimed in the past that "science [is] the inevitable gateway to the Holocaust" and he now declares himself a scientist...hmmm.

(I think that was my first "Godwin". Sorry, but I couldn´t resist)

By StrangerInAStr… (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ palindrom:

Of course.
However, he doesn't present it in a realistic, SB fashion but instead says that (I swear) "We're in chaos theory now" and ( paraphrase) "Did you think that that ( news item) tornado, tsunami, hurricane was bad- soon, it will be considered a walk in the park" and that "predictions are meaningless, things can change overnight". Never trust scientists except the ones he chooses.

Also based upon his ideas, he advises people about where to move to avoid catastrophe- usually it is rural, far from the ocean and cities- he has charts and maps. Actually, the other day he told a person who interested in Spain to move to Ireland-
my Irish friend snarks back, "Oh as if they don't have enough trouble there already".

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Denice @16 --- Indeed, we are on the same page. If he thinks tsunamis are caused by climate change, he's been "misinformed" (to continue the "Casablanca" references), though sea-level rise will eventually exacerbate theiir consequences.

By palindrom (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Helianthus

Next at 8pm: You have germs everywhere.

Followed by our segment, "Dihydrogen oxide. A chemical that's EVERYWHERE."

By AnObservingParty (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@Denice Walter (#12) – a great post, thank you. I’m very much a skeptical non-theist modern human, I watch/read/study the 4 horseman (Hitchens, Dawkins, Dennett and Harris) I couldn’t help but think your post was suggesting Adams was a religious leader/zealot. Here’s my take:

Religious leaders/zealots:

-Scare people with the threat of eternal damnation if they don’t listen and do what they say to do.
-Want to converge their theistic principles into the State.
-Employ miracles of healing – who needs that pesky medical stuff – after all, what do they know?
-Want to be the teachers, only they know the “true knowledge”
-Don’t want you to trust science, after all “evolution is still just a theory, I mean that’s why it’s called a theory”!

I found those to be interesting parallels.

By Skeptical_Canadian (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Skeptical_Canadian:

I appreciate your comment.

Belleve it or not, he provides spiritual advice as well and seems to be anti-evolution ( see Orac's post).

I was thinking about how these creatures manipulate their followers emotionally and how it relates to controlling the flow of information, their own saviour complexes, their ill gotten monetary gains and their political aspirations.
Calling them 'cult leaders' is being kind.

-btw- I absolutely adored Hitchens and read his final writings in both awe and terror.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

"Provocative Testing" would also be an excellent name for a band.

As Bugs Bunny would say..."What a maroon!"

By Chris HIckie (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@Nick Theodorakis #6:

Even if he got it cheap, service contracts on expensive equipment are not cheap, and repairs on them even less so, so he better hope he can maintain them properly and hope nothing goes wrong.

I strongly doubt he's bothered with any service contracts. He only needs that equipment to function just well enough that there are a few flashing lights visible to impress the rubes. He won't much mind if they are warning lights either.

By Rich Woods (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@Dave #10

I've experience with ICP-OES, personally. I'm waiting for Mikey to try to describe what happens to his sample when it meets the torch.

Orac old fruit I hate to be contrary but NMR is still called NMR. Its only you wierdo medics who changed over to MRI. Th chemical fraternity don't do any imaging with it, just the spectroscopy so we stayed old school.
I have a number of niggles here. For a start calling himself a scientist after a couple of months googlage is like me calling myself a gynaecologist after my honeymoon. He has messed about in the general area but there's a lot more to it.
A minimum of seven years of study and experience to get in the door IMHO.
Following that is that his shop-soiled equipment is going to have a lot of calibration needed to get working again. We buy stuff like this to build into rigs and it takes a lot of manpower and effort to get meaningful data out of it. I strongly suspect that the reason he is finding uranium in everything may be uranium in his instrument.
Also the lab coat thing- sheesh. i thought he cared about health?
Finally i really in some ways hope he has a second hand icp ms. I mean AAS is one thing, its basically a bunsen burner with a prism attached. But ICP-MS is so damned moody (particularly in older instruments) that he deserves it.

By incitatus (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

A man who doesn't wear a lab coat in a lab full of corrosive chemicals because it's "too cumbersome" has not yet destroyed a favorite piece of clothing with concentrated HCl, and a man who wears his safety glasses on the top of his head as some sort of fashion statement has not yet sprayed anything nasty in his eye (my learning experience involved a mixture of feces and diethyl ether I was shaking - painful and horrifying but not permanently damaging thankfully).

It would not surprise me one bit if Mikey does himself some serious damage with his new toys. He clearly has little respect for their dangers, and I very much doubt he has had any training.

By Krebiozen (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

#27

an you can tell a chemist- he washes his hands BEFORE having a pee

By incitatus (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

As much as I want to laugh at Adams playing at science like a kid with a Tonka truck thinks he's a real construction worker, it pisses me off that he's going to be using Mass Spec. Why? Because it uses helium, a non-renewable resource used in lots of science and medicine applications. It's bad enough that it's wasted on balloons, but to have this quack wasting it on pseudoscience, too?

@Kreb - I'm waiting for the inevitable: "Mikey burned the lab down!" remix....

I wanted to look at the "lab" photo, but clicking on the link takes me to a page that is nothing about the lab (entitled "SCIENCE research encyclopedia on NaturalNews.com achieves seven million entries") and dated 1 Sep 2013.

:(

By Kiwi girl (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

#29 Todd
it does depend on which torch gas- maybe he will be nice and use Ar?

By incitatus (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Yep, I agree Mikey's "poisoning" is a promising lead to the earth-shattering announcement he's due to make January 7th.

Regardless, it's a dead solid certainty that whatever the big revelation is, there'll be a tie-in with products and/or services provided by NaturalNews.*

*accompanied by denunciations of food and/or supplement sellers who take advantage of consumers for personal gain. It's extremely doubtful that Adams' shiny new lab equipment includes a first-class irony meter. On the off-chance that it does, he needs to wear not only a lab coat and goggles, but a heavy-duty hazmat suit to protect himself when the irony meter blows sky-high.

By Dangerous Bacon (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Incitatus,

I mean AAS is one thing, its basically a bunsen burner with a prism attached.

You reminded me of my very early days in a lab, when the AAS went wrong and I was shown how to fix it. I remember my surprise when the cover came off the shiny high-tech-looking instrument complete with knobs and dials, and underneath it was just a light bulb, a sample holder, a prism, what I recognized as a photodiode and a very basic PCB, with rubber bands (more or less) connecting the knobs to the prism and the wavelength dial.

I don't know what I expected, but it was a bit disappointing somehow. It worked though, and I used it to measure a serum zinc level on a child that was used to diagnose a case of acrodermatitis enteropathica, which more than made up for the disappointment.

By Krebiozen (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

There was a flame in there too, and a way of delivering the sample to it, of course, but little else.

By Krebiozen (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Orac old fruit I hate to be contrary but NMR is still called NMR. Its only you wierdo medics who changed over to MRI. Th chemical fraternity don’t do any imaging with it, just the spectroscopy so we stayed old school.

Hey, I haven't done NMR in 25 years; today I would probably have trouble reading a basic NMR spectrum. Back when I was doing this, 3D NMR was only just being introduced in the lab I worked in. As the lowliest peon in the lab, I didn't get to play with the 3D NMR; I had to stick with the really old school.

@ Denice Walter (#20) I wasn’t aware he was providing spiritual advice, I can’t imagine having to listen to what I might perceive is pure BS psycho-babble. Being anti-evolution makes sense though from a crank magnetism perspective, I have no doubt, he’s into the free energy space as well and lamenting the control paradigm Big Oil plays on the earth. I would contend this is guy is an obvious contender for Cognitive Dissonance too. Lastly, to complete the recipe, add a heaping handful of conspiracy theory. Having read so much stuff in this space, I can’t help but think that people like Adams suffer from some form of mental illness - just conjecturing, I’m no neuroscientist like Harris is.

Indeed, I too watched Hitchens in awe and terror over his devastatingly high debating skills, he was truly an intellectual giant.

By Skeptical_Canadian (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Look on the bright side, people; depending on what those second hand shinies he managed to buy for himself really are, this may turn out to be what an FBI agent of my acquaintace calls a self-resolving issue.

Darwin Award nomination, anyone?

@incitatus

it does depend on which torch gas- maybe he will be nice and use Ar?

One can hope whatever he has doesn't use helium.

@Todd

Yeah, I don't see a need to waste He on him.

For a start calling himself a scientist after a couple of months googlage is like me calling myself a gynaecologist after my honeymoon.

Incitatus @27 wins the internets for the day!

By palindrom (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Skeptical_Canadian:

Fortunately for us, all of Mikey's adventures in identity-hopping are preserved intact on the internet-
altho' it's been quiet for a few months, he has a site called "Divinity Now"-
Abandon hope all you who enter within this den of new age fol-de-rol**
He has also been a rapper called Amethrios and has tried to start a *colonia* of like-minded loons in Vilcabamba, Ecuador ( even pitching real estate there).
He has tried to set up an organic foods mail order company.

His web site ( new edition), Health Ranger, contains a puple prosed autobiography. He claims he has a degree in science but doesn't say what type of science and who administered the degree and that he created software to clog up e-mail tubes with ads.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Argon, as a torch gas, is pretty much tailor made for polyatomic over-readings on iron(54/56), arsenic(75), and chromium(52). While you can automate most of the work in backing the interferences down, you don't /have/ to. If I were more interested in showing the presence of metals in a pseudoscientific "experiment" than true data, I would most certainly use argon as a torch gas.

That should be PURPLE prosed...
and I swear I am not making any of this up.
I'm creative but not that creative ( material like that would be better described as 'hallucinatory")

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

He claims he has a degree in science but doesn’t say what type of science ....

"He has a Master's Degree ---- in SCIENCE! He's smarter than you are!"

(Duck's Breath Mystery Theater, describing the qualifications of their on-air character "Doctor Science".)

By palindrom (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Hmm... this is weird, on the link I do not see the text "At the request of many readers and fans", instead I just see a page from September talking about indexing. Even when I go to the home page of Natural News *choke* and click on the link on that page, I still get the piece on indexing and not on the lab. I only get the correct page when I click on the photo from the front page of Natural News *cough*. That must be to do with his super duper computer science algorithm abilities. Or Firefox 25.

By Kiwi girl (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

I scanned the comments briefly but I'd suggest letting him go with his experiments. What if he find out there's more mercury in an apple than thimerosal in vaccines?

Alain

Some cranks like Mike Adams are easy to spot. Others are a little harder. On that subject, has anyone else read the Cell paper that just came out: ”Microbiota Modulate Behavioral and Physiological Abnormalities Associated with Neurodevelopmental Disorders”? Although Cell is obviously a very respectable journal, everything about the paper reminds me of the most popular (and discredited) ideas of the “vaccines cause autism” movement. Their mouse model of autism is generated with an injection to the mother to provoke an immune reaction (vaccine?), there are details of leaky guts in the mice, “recovery” from autism through diet (in this case a probiotic). Am I just being paranoid or could this be a "stealth" autism crank?

@Denice #5
"...an Hg drenched polarograph analyzer.."

If only, but I doubt karma will give me that irony filled present for Christmas.

By Sian Williams (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

@Denice #5
“…an Hg drenched polarograph analyzer..”

If only, but I doubt karma will give me that irony filled present for Christmas.

That one was for Halloween. I'm not sure what he thought he was going to do with it without mercury.

"That one was for Halloween. I’m not sure what he thought he was going to do with it without mercury."

That's what I get for diligently avoiding that website and maintaining my sanity.

By Sian Williams (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

Laughter is the best medicine.
Mike Adams, alchemist. Hard at work synthesizing comedy gold.
Hmm. So he's got an "Interocitor"... just thinking... Russell Adams ("Gilliigan's Island" "the Professor") is in "This Island Earth"... Adams is in Ecuador... he could have built equally effective (in his hands) equipment out of coconuts and saved a bunch of money.

By Bob Davey (not verified) on 06 Dec 2013 #permalink

A black T-shirt might show off his physique, but it won’t protect him from accidental splashes.

But the black won't show the stains from the food coloring he's added to the water in the test tubes and beakers.

Hilariously, quite a few of Mikey's commenters seem to think it inappropriate of him to withhold the earth-shattering information he has produced about products contaminated with ((shudder)) "elements".

Could it be the zeolite? Or the bentonite? they query.

Fortunately I am off to view skulls of *other* early hominids who- being dead for a very long time and- unlike Mikey, are unable to write up their adventures in our exciting world.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 07 Dec 2013 #permalink

Has anyone tried to read and decipher what's written on the board behind him?

As has been noted in other comments, the lighting of the scene seems just off. It's possible that there is a very bright spotlight off to his left, but I would think it would diminish the shadows cast by the overheads on the equipment on the table in the middle.

Aside from that...man, that website is a mess.

@DrSky #58

The notes on the board behind him discuss the different phases you'd run the ICP in - gas/no gas, and there's the common polytatomic ion species which can cause interference in your reading.

The funny thing about the board is that it would be senseless for it to actually be located where it is in the photo. Given the shadow on the left side, it seems pretty clear that it's just leaning against the wall.

Well, and that he apparently needs to remind himself what m/z stands for, and the mass of oxygen.

I’m betting the board displays a pseudoscience-y equivalent of this: http://i.imgur.com/4d0FE.jpg

If I had more time, I'd be sorely tempted to Photoshop a copy of the blast door map from Lost onto it.

Actually, the image of MIkey HIMSELF appears to be superimposed onto the lab photo- esp if you enlarge the image ( 200%); note how oddly his black shirt contrasts to the background- a sort of white haze emanates from him ..

Oh no! Is he glowing from the radioactive contamination!

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 07 Dec 2013 #permalink

Actually, the image of MIkey HIMSELF appears to be superimposed onto the lab photo

I did indeed notice this. Another thing I didn't have time for was toying around with image searches involving subregions of the photo.

I'm still wondering about that SMDE, though. WTF did he think it was for? A complete, used rig goes for €4500. The 303A has a 5 lb reservoir. And for $100 bucks he got one with what, a pound of analytical-grade mercury left in it?

When I was about 5 I used to take all of the pots out of my mothers kitchen and play with them. This made me as much a chef, as Adams sitting with lab equipment makes him a scientist!

Browsing through the site, I notice that he doesn't seem popular with a certain segment of the population, judging by the comments on this article. (The original article can be found copied here.)
Is it one of the reasons why he's now desperately trying to present himself as a scientist?

"I notice that (Adams) doesn't seem popular with a certain segment of the population"

Sometimes we don't realize the extent of internecine warfare among alties. Mike Adams has been the target of opponents (rivals?) on other occasions, as evidenced by this multi-segment takedown on healthwyze.com:

http://healthwyze.org/index.php/component/content/article/616-special-r…

The part about Adams' "awakening" on the subject of money-making is especially fun.

Of course the reliability of this site and its resident critics is open to question (a high woo quotient is evident on casual inspection, though healthwyze doesn't seem quite as nutty as NaturalNews).*

*a current NN hit piece on commercial stevia sweeteners warns that they are Trojan horses that will "mutate your cells and help cancer develop in the temple of your soul".**

**reminiscent of the Bonzo Dog Band's "Canyons Of Your Mind", in which the lovelorn singer describes aching feelings:

"In the wardrobe of my soul
in the section labelled "shirts"

By Dangerous Bacon (not verified) on 08 Dec 2013 #permalink

“I notice that (Adams) doesn’t seem popular with a certain segment of the population”

I'm impressed that he let his inner racist show to the extent of pissing off some readers

By herr doktor bimler (not verified) on 08 Dec 2013 #permalink

Although high level woo-meisters may quote each other or link to each other's enabling material ( articles, films), there is definitely rivalry beyond business competition. The three I know most follow slightly differing orthorectic diets ( Mercola is paleo/ organic, Null vegan/ organic, Mikey seems to occasionally eat meat/ organic- all seem to despise GMOs and advocate raw foods).They preach the value of their own above all others' based on their own self-avowed superlative wisdom- and disguised dismissals of other alt med types.

Adams and Null also fancy themselves as owning news outlets/ media and being political commentators ( both brag shamelessly about their "huge" audiences). Here's something I have noticed: whilst they go on and on about their own country as a "police state" or as"fascist", I think most of their seething rhetoric focuses upon a certain black man who resides in a white mansion. They don't like him.

Really if you think about, they are competing for a market that is very competetive- supplements, diets, special foods, dietary information ( there are huge companies involved in these same areas)- so what is unique is their own particular *personality* based slant on woo.
So do you prefer an aging, folksy,scientific outsider genius or a REALLY aging one?

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 08 Dec 2013 #permalink

Thanks Space Trout, for showing me yet another Facebook page that will eat more of my precious life . . .

By Pareidolius (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

I am suddenly reminded very much of the scene where we first meet our hero in his lab in "This Island Earth" -- or, more accurately, the MST3K version of the same.

"Increase the Flash Gordon noise, and put more science stuff around."

By Calli Arcale (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Calli:
Heh.
However I think we need someone much hotter looking than Mikey for that to work filmwise.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

I just realized that scene is even more apropos, since Mike and the 'bots decide that the experiment he's running (some kind of fission reaction? it wasn't very clear) involves processed convenience food. :-D

"The secret government Eggo lab."
"Insert the breakfast pastry. Start warming the syrup."
"No, my waffles!"

And then, when they get the Interociter assembled:

"The amazing technicolor cheese wedge!"

By Calli Arcale (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Calli:

I am imagining a late 1980s- early 1990s BBC (?) show wherein the many mysteries of food technology were painfully revealed in a serious manner**-
esp an ( actually, multiple) attempt to create a frozen meat pie-like snack food with creamed chicken within a crunchy pastry shell making use of an.......
'extrusion machine'
which delivered both the chicken filling and the exterior crust in one fell swoop-
only that it never worked correctly- chicken would squirt out by itself or the shell would liquify and drop off, etc etc etc. Eventually, the project was abandoned.

It was like performance art with partially cooked, edible pastes. Now that was television!

** they should have had Leonard Rossiter narrate it

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

esp an ( actually, multiple) attempt to create a frozen meat pie-like snack food with creamed chicken within a crunchy pastry shell making use of an…….
‘extrusion machine’
which delivered both the chicken filling and the exterior crust in one fell swoop

Not only that, it could cook the operation. With adequate shear and barrel pressure, one could heat the contents and plasticize the crust, so that upon expansion exiting the die, the crust would puff to crunchiness. It's not a crazy idea, but I can see where sealing the ends of the tube would be a problem.

Instead of coming down on 23andme.com, the FDA should go after Mike Adams.

By PhysicsPolice (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

@ Narad:

IIRC it was *supposed* to simultaneously crisp the crust ( the chicken goo was already cooked) BUT it kept going awry - in hilarious ways- sealing the ends was a problem. I think that the final product was to be frozen for reheating.

I know I didn't imagine this episode because someone I know also recalls it.
Plus I don't imagine things like THAT.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

Denice Walter - If it's the same thing I remember they produced something that looked a little like the snack Combos (part of the extruded food group) before they gave up on it.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

However I think we need someone much hotter looking than Mikey for that to work filmwise

Is Bob Hoskins available?

I very nearly invoked Combos. IIRC, somebody from the Schank-era Yale AI group (I won't test my memory's offering), has an offical letter stating that Twinkies are not an extrusion product. I'm not sure how complicated the inquiry was.

@ Denice Walter

I remember that program - the proposed name of the product was "Crack a Snack". I think this was because they could be cracked in half and then eaten. The taste taste tests were done using pastry cones filled with cooked meat pie filling, but the extrusion process resulted in a considerably inferior product, something that was god-awful even by British culinary standards.

By Militant Agnostic (not verified) on 09 Dec 2013 #permalink

Mikey has been talking up Gardasil vaccine dangers and the non-link between HPV infections and cervical cancers.

http://www.naturalnews.com/report_hpv_vaccine_0.html

One of the new trolls here is recommending Natural News to the journalists at AoA as a resource. (Could I make that up?)

http://ideas.time.com/2013/12/04/is-katie-couric-the-next-jenny-mccarth…

Scroll down to my post and my link to see the first honoree in the "Encyclopedia of American Loons".

Ha ha.
The hive mind at work!
I mis-remembered it as being a frozen product- possibly because I now see so many bizarre and/ or interesting frozen products that nearly fit the bill ( samosas, burritos, meat pies, spring rolls, pizza rolls) .
But I do recognise the name, "Crack-a-snack" ( recognition is easier than recall most of the times ).
IIRC it wasn't really that small like the combos product- it was more like something you could hold on to and eat.
Wish I had some!

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

If I'm remembering the same show (and "Crack-a-snack sounds familiar) the product was inspired by some form of savory meat pie or pasty, was transformed to refrigerated filling in a bread/cracker/pretzel cone, and ended up a member of the extruded food group that was intended to be shelf stable.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

All for the best of business and consumer reasons, naturally.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

"Crack-a-snack"? Obviously that should be the official food of the "Mayor" of Toronto.

By sheepmilker (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

These are the “toxins,” such as “heavy metal” poisoning (I still think that would be a great name for a band)

I do believe that "Heavy Metal Poisoning" was the title of a song on Styx's "Killroy Was Here" album.

By Von Krieger (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

Unfortunately, Mike's follow-up post merely warns readers about the so-called 'treats' that they may innocently ingest during the upcoming season- red and green food dyes, vegetable shortening, processed meats, eggnog and other deadly foodstuffs lurk at every holiday table- never realising how dangerous they truly are! Be forewarned.

Oddly, I don't partake in any of that crap but I still think MIke is off his rocker.

By Denice Walter (not verified) on 10 Dec 2013 #permalink

NMR was renamed “magnetic resonance imaging”)

Nothing has been renamed. NMR is still NMR. MRI is a technique based on NMR which is sensitive to the spatial densities of particular types of atomic resonance. In NMR as it's currently used, you often don't care about the spatial densities of one type of nucleus so much as the signal splittings and resonance shifts between different types of covalently associated NMR active nuclei, which makes it really good for detecting the structures of the molecules containing these nuclei, instead of visualizing higher-order structures that are themselves labeled with covalently unassociated NMR active nuclei (like in MRI). They are subtly different techniques. One is good for imaging and the other does something totally different.

For instance, you aren't going to do a HSQC or NOESY experiment on an MRI spectrometer.

I do believe that “Heavy Metal Poisoning” was the title of a song on Styx’s “Killroy Was Here” album.

Speaking as someone with Raynaud's who spent nearly 20 minutes in the Hawk wind waiting for a bus the week before last at a stop outside of a faux Asian restaurant that was blaring "Mr. Roboto" onto the street the entire time, I would kindly request that you place this on a loop in your head for the indefinite future.

Back off, man. I'm a scientist!!

Denice, December is when I take my annual ceremonial one drink of eggnog and one nibble of fruitcake (usually at the spousal unit's faculty Christmas party).

It's kind of like my annual ceremonial funnel cake at the county fair in August; I ration myself.

No matter what you think of Mike....he is correct with MORE FIBER in every diet. The fiber holds the metals and according to his research...will not release them into your body. Sounds a bit far fetched..but fiber is key to health... No dead foods...live, fresh vegs, fruits, grass fed beef..fish from safe areas of the world...if there is such a place. What are YOU doing to better humanity's situation? You're just a critic...frustrated...reporting what you feel is bogus...We're used to that..and can read between the lines...

By Tandalayo (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

No dead foods…live, fresh vegs, fruits, grass fed beef..fish from safe areas of the world

Non-dead grass fed beef? What, are you physically wrestling the steer down and tearing flesh from its bones with your teeth to be consumed raw?

Tandalayo - "Eat more fiber" is his contribution to science? It's puzzling that doctors and medical institutions didn't know that before. Otherwise there would be sites like http://www.mayoclinic.org/fiber/art-20043983.

And if you've got any reputable evidence that live foods are better than dead foods, please share. In particular, give a working definition of live and dead in this context. Thanks.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

JGC:

Now I have this mental image of a horde of zombies devouring a cow alive.

And now I know where all those cattle mutilations came from....

Indeed, Mephistopheles & JGC. The idea of eating live meat frankly gives me the willies, and I can't imagine it being particularly healthy. I mean, apart from stuff like oysters, I'd think most live meat would put up a bit of a struggle. And even dead, raw meat would have . . . well, live things in it. Eat a raw, dead steak and get a tapeworm burrowing into your brain?

By Calli Arcale (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

Calli Arcale - I am not an expert on that, but I thought tapeworms normally went more the other direction.

I have had raw meat (steak tartare) and raw seafood (oysters, clams, sashimi, sushi). Probably the liveliest were the oysters and clams. Steak tartare might have been better cooked.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

Eating live beef? Where are the animal rights people when we finally need 'em?

By ebrillblaiddes (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

No dead foods! No dead foods!

This mantra is helping some slick operator(s) sell overpriced lettuce in a plastic container under the guise that it is "alive".

Good luck though planting it in a pot and getting it to grow. The lettuce you buy amputated from its stalk and encased in plastic wrap is just as "alive".

"You’re just a critic…frustrated…reporting what you feel is bogus…We’re used to that..and can read between the lines…"

Meh, I don't care so much about what's bogus. More and more, I'm just here to point and laugh.

By Dangerous Bacon (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

No dead foods! No dead foods!

The blood is the life! [swallows spider]

By herr doktor bimler (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

Good luck though planting it in a pot and getting it to grow.

Yah, but... a lot of the produce you but can be put in the ground and it will take off and grow. I also doubt that anybody here will argue that, at least as far as USAians go, we should eat more plants.

But I have to side with "Bob" Dobbs -

"I want my monkey brains well done!"

-- "Bob" to cook at Dobbstown, Malaysia

Anyone who wants live monkey brains is just wrong, and I don't think anyone here will argue against that.

... he is correct with MORE FIBER in every diet ...

Erm, I think you will find most accredited dietitians, and a surprising number of doctors, advocate more fibre in the diet. Because it actually does help stuff digest properly.

By Christine (the… (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

No matter what you think of Mike….he is correct with MORE FIBER in every diet. The fiber holds the metals and according to his research…will not release them into your body. Sounds a bit far fetched..but fiber is key to health

So where does "juicing" fit in? After all, its only effect is the removal of fibre from fresh fruits and vegetables.

So the Health Deranger advocates more fibre in one's diet? So did Lord Baden-Powell and my grandmother (they called it Roughage). Mike's other recommendations are, frankly, insane. Live food - does that involve going out to the garden and eating worms?

In *every* diet, though? How does he know someone somewhere isn't getting plenty of fiber, thanks, and genuinely doesn't need anymore?

Most American middle-class and upper-class diets, sure. But really *every* diet?

TBruce: you have to get the "right kind" or juicer - one that supposedly breaks down the cell walls to release all the nutrients. Alas my boss is into all this crap and has just discovered The Health Ranger.

By Christine (the… (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

NMR and MRI are related but entirely distinct methodologies. Both are still called themselves!!!

An amusing story I was told during my PhD days was that anyone with metal fillings was not allowed in the NMR pit when its super-conducting magnets were running - which is basically all the time as literally the last thing you want is a quench - or you'd get them yanked out of your head. Utter horseshit of course, but the - administrative... - powers that be took it seriously enough that large warning signs and a stern talking-to was mandated for any transgressors. Funny looking back I suppose.

By Gemman Aster (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

I may not be doing much to improve the world, but our favorite box of blinking lights saves people's lives for a living.

Meanwhile, if I want dietary advice I will get it from someone who can tell the difference between a live animal and a piece of muscle removed from the carcass of a dead steer.

silly question:

Has Mike ever been willing to eat a live snake?

Alain

@MOB

Calli Arcale – I am not an expert on that, but I thought tapeworms normally went more the other direction.

In Mikey's case they would be still be headed in the direction of his brain since his head is permanently up his ass.

By Militant Agnostic (not verified) on 08 Jan 2014 #permalink

@Militant Agnostic - My fault, I neglected to account for cases of nonphotonic cranial-rectal inversion in this.

By Mephistopheles… (not verified) on 10 Jan 2014 #permalink

I honestly can't wait for the deconstruction. His assumption that all foods are chock-full of heavy metals in the first place seems a bit flimsy to me.

Mephistopheles:

Calli Arcale – I am not an expert on that, but I thought tapeworms normally went more the other direction.

It depends on the life stage of the tapeworm. We all know about the ones that colonize the intestines, but that's the adult worm. The really horrific one (in my opinion) is the juvenile worm. Tapeworms need two hosts to complete their lifecycle. The eggs are pooped out and contaminate something -- usually, grass which an herbivore then eats, but there are plenty of opportunities for feces to contaminate meat products. 99% of the time, you'll be fine, but that other 1%.... The tapeworm egg hatches in the stomach and then the young worm burrows out of the digestive tract. It tries to find its way into some fleshy tissue that will be yummy to a predator and settles down into a cyst phase. There, it awaits the eventual killing and consumption of the first host. The cyst then breaks open in the second host's digestive tract and the adult worm emerges, latches onto the digestive tract, and becomes the nasty parasite we're all familiar with.

Since humans are omnivores and cultivate our own crops, we tend only to ingest encysted worms, which are of course killed by cooking. But once in a while, you hear about someone who manages to get a juvenile worm. This is a doomed worm; one that infests a carnivore or a human is not likely to ever get to complete its life cycle. We're not the target species for the juvenile worm. But that's small comfort when you get one.

There's a story of a woman who had terrible headaches. Brain scans revealed a mass, believed to be brain cancer. Surgeons operated and removed the mass. When she was revived, they had good news and bad news. The good news is it wasn't cancer. The bad news it was a juvenile tape worm. Ew. But at least it was gone.

By Calli Arcale (not verified) on 10 Jan 2014 #permalink

I'm sure Mikey will have a lot to complain about the arrest of Robert O. Young, now facing felony charges of practicising medicine without a license and grand theft. Suppression of natural cures, Big Pharma conspiring against the revolutionary healer, yadda yadda.

I hope Young gets the full 15 years in jail he's facing.

http://www.cbs8.com/story/24544235/accused-fake-doctor-pleads-not-guilt…

By Woo Fighter (not verified) on 24 Jan 2014 #permalink

Woo Fighter,
That's the best news I've heard in a long time. It was Robert O. Young and his ludicrous claims about acid-base biochemistry that really got me into the good fight against this sort of expensive and dangerous BS.

By Krebiozen (not verified) on 25 Jan 2014 #permalink

When I saw his Wheaties vids I hoped they would get a sound thrashing on a Friday dose of woo, but apparently, some stupid is so terribly dense that it even might risk the circuits of our venerable host.