Extinction is a B*tch! #scio11

Last night was the first night of Science Online 2011. The food and keynote were fantastic, but the real party was back at the hotel afterwards for the Open Mic Night! At the request of many, here are the lyrics to the song I sang:

Extinctionʼs A Bitch
(to the tune of ʻBitchʼ by Meredith Brooks)

Biodiversity
all kinds of creatures from the mountains to the seas
all arising through a process of selection thatʼs been altering their genes
for a million centuries

Evolutionʼs what I mean
Itʼs changing organisms gene by gene by gene
so theyʼre stronger or theyʼre faster or theyʼre smarter, pushing features to extremes
though tomorrow things may change, and those traits wonʼt mean a thing!

Chorus:
If youʼre a fish
or a bird
or a mammal
or a worm
in the oceans
or in the jungle
you know lifeʼs a constant struggle
You must change to survive
Hey, at least youʼre still alive!
You know thatʼs more than a trilobite can say...

An intricate array
it seems so balanced but everything must change
though coexisting, there are subtle variations, always competing
and over geologic time, life is evolving!

Chorus

Just when you think youʼre perfectly adapted
The environmentʼs already changing
You need mutations to mix things up
or suffer extinction!

Chorus

Slow and steady
wins the race
Just like Alice
keeping pace
for the fate of the so-so
is to end up like the dodo
itʼs not easy to survive,
but at least youʼre still alive
and thatʼs way more than a trilobite can say!