1. pharyngula
  2. It's the only brand a true pirate would use

It's the only brand a true pirate would use

By pharyngula on September 19, 2006.

Arrrrr. Let us begin a rude day with a rude picture.

i-3923454d942611f0e14274707bb156d6-blackbeard_tampons.jpg

i-471022f168c89dea23fa54b841bad16d-real_blackbeard.jpg

I do protest, though, that Cap'n Blackbeard looked nothin' like that (he had two hands and a snaky tangle of a beard), and there is a great missed opportunity here. Blackbeard knotted lit matchcords in his hair and beard so they'd glow and hiss and smoke in battle—why not render the brute with the product tied into his flowin' locks?

(Alas, Pharyngula does not yet have a pirate mode restored, so don't be expectin' an excess of piratical nonsense today.)

(Some of you will be greatly relieved.)

Tags
pirates
Weirdness

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Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking. According to the documentary shown on the BBC recently, anyway. I wonder if they timed the showing of it specifically for Talk Like A Pirate day? If you haven't seen it yet, and you're waiting with bated breath for it to be shown over there... it's OK, but some of the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Lots of fake Cornish/Bristol/vaguely rustic accents.

By Graham Douglas (not verified) on 19 Sep 2006 #permalink

Man, I missed it! I can't keep my days straight for this kind of thing, especially being 13 hours ahead of the Midwest. I wonder if my students in the Japanese middle school I work in would be interested in that video you had below. I smell a supplemental lesson coming up!

Legend has it that it took 22 cutlass wounds and 5 bullets to kill Edward Teach, and that, when they threw his headless body into the sea, it swam round the ship three times before sinking.

Yes, and his bodyless head saw the light and was born again, just like Steve Irwin did. But you won't find that in the history books, will you???

That ad, uspecially with the hook, is not suitable for children. In fact it should be
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Arrrrr- rated.

Tim Powers' delightful _On Stranger Tides_ has it that Blackbeard was a servant of the loa Baron Samedi, who is lord of the slow flame, among other things. Hence Blackbeard could not be killed as long as he had the matchcord burning in his hair.

Where do pirates come from?

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Arrrrrrrkansas.

By wildlifer (not verified) on 20 Sep 2006 #permalink

*GRRRROOOOAAAANNNN*

Or, more properly... ARRRRRRRRgh.

By Arrrrrchangel Beth (not verified) on 24 Sep 2006 #permalink