Aren't the titles and the nobility and castles and the armies of serfs enough?

Thanks so much, PZ, and all the Pharyngulites. I'd love to win in at least one of the categories. I'd be happy just to place. And yes, I will write an erotic story just for Pharyngula if I win. There are so many possible story ideas out there.

voted... well started the voting process.

Are we able to sample the work somewhere? I wandered around a while but couldn't find anything. I'm reluctant to vote blindly, even at the request of The Man.

If the Mudlicker doesn't qualify as a "hopeful monster", nothing will.

Isherwood, I have excerpts from some of my fiction on my blog and on Yahoo groups.

Here is an excerpt from "Mud Licker":

http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/2008/12/im-posting-at-deadly-vixens…

My "eXcessica" category on my blog has excerpts from the short stories "Caught!", "A Spanking Good Time", and "Double Shift" (in my anthology "Summer Heat"):

http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/excessica/

That's a good start. :)

"Like A Myth" is available for sale now, in case anyone was interested in the book which features my story "Mud Licker". Y'all were very interested in it when I first told you about it. Just go to my blog, and click on the book cover for "Like A Myth" on my sidebar for more information, or go directly to Circlet Press.

http://www.circlet.com/?page_id=12&category=4&product_id=73

Hokey smoke, professor! That's one long gauntlet to run in voting. Good thing I gorged on trollkill before I set off on the journey. *school girl giggles*

Okay, if you say we're not a flock of sheep, then we're not. Whatever you say.

By the way, I am dying to know: Am I an independent thinker? I sure hope so, but I need someone to tell me!

"Does anyone else feel a bit like a Lost Boy now?"

I kind of thought PZ was more of a Corey Haim type but if he wants to think he's a Keifer Sutherland with fangs then who am I to argue.

(ok, yes, I saw Lost Boys about ten million times when I was 13)

Same here. I saw "The Lost Boys" scads of times when I was a kid.

Did you know there's supposed to be a remake/sequel? Yikes! It's been talked about for years, but never materialized. I think it should be shelved. You know how bad remakes are. Here's the dirt from Rotten Tomatoes:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1648104/surfing_vampires_in_andquotlost_boys_2andquot

It's a conspiracy to make me feel old. No, no, no. "Lost boy" as in Peter Pan. Little boys who just want a mother to tuck them in and read them a story? Wendy? Jeez.

Hang on...you mean you didn't know about Lost Boys: The Tribe?

I've seen it. It sucked.

Ick. I forgot about "Lost Boys: The Tribe". Yes, it sucked.

LOL, let me tuck you in a read all of you a story involving tentacle sex. :)

Zeno, You are a wildly witty independent thinker, the cutest boy in class, and all the girls are swooning just at the sight of your name.

Zeno!

Come over here!

Sit!

Now this is what you are going to do, and say, and think.......

"You are a wildly witty independent thinker, the cutest boy in class, and all the girls are swooning just at the sight of your name."

My mom used to say the same things. She also said women liked smart guys and college was a good idea. She lied.

Ha ha, NewEnglandBob! Good try! But it didn't work when my pastor told me what to do and think and I don't think it will work with you, either. ;-)

The cutest boy in class, Patricia? Wow, I haven't heard that in years. :-)

NewEnglandBob, you stop flirting with Zeno! He's far too independent and absurdly handsome to fall for that.

My mom used to say the same things. She also said women liked smart guys and college was a good idea. She lied.

Your mom sounds like my mom. Did you get the "the mailman and I are just friends and your superficial resemblance to him is a coincidence" line too?

I'm sorry, but I'm cruising yahoo answers right now and came across this absolute gem of a question. I had to share it with someone.

"How is evolution real if theirs still monkies?
okay.. if people "evolved" from monkies than why r there still monkies here?...doesnt make much since if u think about it.. i read alot and the 2nd law of theruomodynamics or something says that evolution cant be real ether. science really proves itself wrong if u think about it. y do scientists think that there right just because its science. OTHER SCIENCE PROOVES IT WRONG! dont critizise me and say im dumb. im smart and probly smarter then u u know. its seems to me like only cretionism is a good reason for how stuff was made...kinda have to be dumm not to think that."

I just love this. I think we should petition Webster and his dictionaries and forever change the plural form of 'monkey' to 'monkies'

Monkies have a honorary position in The Imperial Zoo of Creationist Stupidity, right next to the crocoduck.

LOL, let me tuck you in a read all of you a story involving tentacle sex. :)

Ah. You have a bright future in hentai anime. :-)

I am so wise wrote:
"She also said women liked smart guys and college was a good idea. She lied."

Well I know *lots* of women who like smart guys - but maybe it's different in San Francisco, land of Geeksexy?

Brownian, is that another of your redheaded step children @22? Shall I make you up a sugar tit for him?

I don't know how you put up with those pesky brats.

Thankyou toad. You've been here before, and you're banned.
Nice try.

Holy shite are you fast with that cyberpistol PZ!

Patricia: absurdly handsome

With the emphasis on "absurdly"!

My mom used to say

My mom used to say, "The bail is how much?!!

Call back after the arraignmant."

Hey Contessa, your website emits some very invasive software that will be blocked by any intranet software, which means nobody can get to it from work, which means half the electorate cannot vote since many Pharyngulistas are malingering work slackers like me.

HEY

CUT IT OUT with the alter boy boning stuff.

I'm getting all excited here, and...

welll
women are attracted to smart men

with big boners

(sorry for the typos, I broke my thumb a couple of days ago, not recommended)-scooter

Hey Scooter, bitchslap that little twerp standing in the corner. I'm holding a champagne glass. Thanks!

I thought all the trailer trash mudsuckers were sobering up by now. Got to get back to work cleaning stalls at the peep show, pickin Mom up at the strip club, and gettin another batch of ephedrine into the speed still.

Somebody call this hayseed's mom, he's out too late and needs to go home and stare at the ceiling all night

Good luck Countess. I agree with Patricia, OM, thats quite a procedure, but then this is a real poll, not a pointless poll.

You were placed between 3rd or 4th and 13th with most clustering around 5th. you were tied for 7th place on one.

The excert from Mudlicker caught my interest, I will search that out - though I was expecting a cephlapod ;)

Do you have any favourites yourself?

Thanks Scooter. I knew I could count on you being too much of a gentleman to make a strumpet put down her champagne.

I think I'll sit this one out. Not my style.

PZ, You pimpin' us out now mate? :)

Or are we now cyber mercenaries?

I don't know how you put up with those pesky brats.

Alcohol helps.

Off Topic alert: The rubber duckies that NASA sent on an undersea voyage of discovery may have been found - in Adelaide! http://www.abc.net.au/news The recording of a phone call to ABC Radio National is on the bottom right hand side of the screen (under the picture of a rubber duckie with a number on its back).

Thanks Brownian. I'm doing my best to swill the celebratory bubbly, so if you could keep your rude little brutes locked up it would help.

Scooter has to go clean the stalls at the porn shop, and he doesn't have time to stand around slapping twerps while I get swozzled.

Off Topic alert: The rubber duckies that NASA sent on an undersea voyage of discovery may have been found - in Adelaide!

Many good and interesting things find their way to Adelaide...

Havent read any of the stories and not going to vote therefore,but I like the link to the "Erotic Toy reviews" on her blog.

Thanks for that,PZ !

Holy crap. I'm one of the backup host servers for P&E, from way *way* back in my days with Critters. (My writing days are, alas, essentially past.) Never thought I'd end up vaguely connected to another Critter through this sort of small-world circle. Congrats, Countess!

Re the duckies, I may have been premature in posting that comment. I have since done some more research and the photo and description doesn't match the official description.

"The ducks have Behar's e-mail address stamped on them, along with the word "reward" in three languages, including Inuit. NASA is offering $100 to the first person who locates a duck, London's Guardian newspaper notes."

Oh well. Robyn will figure it out. (Robyn Williams, head of ABC Science Unit :) )

They've pulled the story already. Guess it was a false alarm.

@Scooter - Hey Contessa, your website emits some very invasive software that will be blocked by any intranet software, which means nobody can get to it from work, which means half the electorate cannot vote since many Pharyngulistas are malingering work slackers like me.

Gack! That must be a Typepad thing. I doubt I can remove any of it. LOL, malingering work slackers. I write sex toys reviews while watching movies like "Supervixens" (and I own that one). I could never work in a real office. I'd go apeshit in no time.

Cool, Kirian. I've known about P&E for years. It kept me away from vanity and subsidy presses. Great site, that is.