Santa Claus Doesn't Live Here Any More

SteelyKid: I din't eat all my lunch today, because I didn't have time.

Daddy: Uh-huh.

SK: It's true! I'm not even lying.

D: Oh, I believe you didn't eat all your lunch, don't worry about that.

SK: Ask Santa Claus if you think I'm lying.

D: Santa Claus?

SK: Yeah. Santa Claus actually can't see everyone all the time, but he's always watching.

D: OK.

SK: He has his house in... in... in the center of the world. But he has to move it around all the time. So he can watch everyone.

D: I guess that makes sense.

SK: And you know what? He used to live right here. In our house.

D: Really?

SK: Yeah. Santa Claus used to live in our house. Back when you and Mommy got married, he lived here. But he had to move out, because he knew we were coming to live here, because we wanted this to be our home.

D: That was nice of him.

SK: He's Santa Claus. Anyway, he moved out, and went to live somewhere else. But he used to live here. And he watches everything.

D: That's a fascinating story. Thanks for telling me.

SK: It's true, too. Ask Santa Claus if you think I'm lying.

More like this

[Scene: Dinner at Chateau SteelyPips. DADDY is starting to say something about his day at work, when STEELYKID interrupts.] STEELYKID: If you eat too many hot dogs, you'll turn into a hot dog! DADDY: That would be pretty silly. Luckily, you're eating chicken for dinner. Eat your chicken. STEELYKID…
In the car, on the way from day care to campus to watch a softball game DADDY: So, what did you do at school today? STEELYKID: Daddy, I'm a superhero. They call me Strong Ninja Girl. Strong World-Saving Ninja Girl. DADDY: Because you save the world? STEELYKID: Right. And M____ is World-Saving…
SCENE: The library at Chateau Steelypips. DADDY is typing on the computer, while THE PIP plays on the floor. Enter STEELYKID. STEELYKID: I'm already four years old. DADDY: Yes, yes you are. THE PIP: Thbbbbbbbpppt! STEELYKID: How old is The Pip? DADDY: Eleven months. Not quite one year. STEELYKID:…
Act I: STEELYKID and THE PIP: Happy Father's Day, Daddy! DADDY: Aww, that's sweet. So, what are you going to make me for breakfast? STEELYKID and THE PIP: What? DADDY: It's father's day, right? So you guys should be cooking breakfast for me. STEELYKID and THE PIP: No!!!! THE PIP: We can't cook…

In my RSS reader, your blog shows up in the same color scheme as "Not Always Related: Funny family stories". I lost track of which blog I was reading for a minute.


By Blaise Pascal (not verified) on 16 Aug 2013 #permalink

I love little kid logic with a bright shining love, and this is a fine example of the genre.

By Trent Goulding (not verified) on 19 Aug 2013 #permalink