A friend of mine sent an invitation for his sister's wedding. This image was on it. Such fun! I love the way the image is done. All those fat buggers blowing and bangin happily. Wonderful caricature. For those not in the know, the long pipe instrument is Nathaswaram and the other one being banged on is Mridangam Thavil.
Let me tell you my personal marriage story. For my marriage I was woken up at 5 AM or thereabouts, dressed up and bought into the marriage hall. Ramya had the same done to her. We were kept awake by the insanely happy guys who played the Nathaswaram and Mridangam in such high decibels that its a wonder I can still hear. After the wedding, we were to visit all the temples all over south India (am kidding, but we visited quite a few temples and the more interestng part is that I do not subscribe to any of the religious beliefs). The temple hopping took the whole day. Remember that I woke up at 5 AM and had my brains blown out already. I felt pounded. I was hoping this is just a passing phase in marriage (It was. Ramya, I am a very happy man now). I had a horrible neck ache due to the heavy poomalai (colossal flower garlands around your thin neck that can be snatched easily bringing you to instant halt if you tried running away). Poor Ramya was wearing a silk saree that was cooking her inside. I suggested that she change into something lighter as we were going to be shuttling around in the sweltering heat. Someone with a overdose of cultural propriety interjected and said that the wedding saree must be worn all the day. I changed my suggestion to a stern warning that I will run away (and promised myself to kick their butts on the way out) if Ramya did not change her clothes. You need to know when to draw the line. You also need to know that after a few hours of sweat, smoke, flower scents and such, silk sarees stink. Very badly.
I had a bit of a dilemma when contemplating the marriage because of my extreme aversion to the religious implications of the marriage ceremony. I explained it to myself thusly: All those ceremonies were to cement the importance of the event in everyones minds. Anyway, the event itself is such a good party that I did not want my philosophical dilemmas to ruin it. It was fun and in the end I had my say in things that mattered.
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It's great to see you in the Science Blog team, Selva!
"All those ceremonies were to cement the importance of the event in everyones minds."
No, Selva, all those ceremonies were to make you not ever contemplate going through it again ...
BTW, the percussion instrument would be Thavil, no?
Thank you, Abi.
>all those ceremonies were to make you not ever contemplate going through it again ...
Haven't they succeded admirably!
The percussion instrument is indeed Thavil. I can still hear it after almost two years.
Anyway, the event itself is such a good party that I did not want my philosophical dilemmas to ruin it
very smart thinking on your part. the arguments against it go nowhere and just flare tempers all around.
Hey Selva,
Since you are a south Indian, I did not expect you to generalize. You seem to be a Tamilian and hence the topic should have been a Tamil wedding, not south Indian.
Also, I expected some more details and incidents but the article was too short for my liking.
Like you, I too don't subscribe to religious humbug.
Keep blogging.
Nice post, but there is one correction.
the other one being banged on is Mridangam.
The other one is acctually the Thavil.. The Mridangam is always played while sitting and the Thavil can be carried around. Also, they use a stick to play the Thavil, but the mridangam is always played only with the fingers.
I went to sleep at 2:00 AM and woke up at 3:00 AM during my marriage as it was a early muhurtham. I hardly slept during this one hour as it was my big day. We had ard 50 garlands from different temples and I could imagine what you say.
26 years ago, for our arranged marriage, i offered to my wife a temple (or registered wedding) devoid of any cost. my parents went along with it, because they were so relieved that i agreed to marry the girl of their choice. but my fiancee (then) demurred. she had been working in madras for quite a few years, contributed to the welfare of her family, and also paid several thousands in gift money at her work. it was a time of self congrats, acknowledgement from her peers and chargeback! having little moola myself, i sort of shamefully went along with all the jingbang. still to this day, i consider it the biggest waste of money ever spent in the course of (and towards) my life. i am 26 years happily married, which itself is the biggest gift life can give me. i have advised my children to spend the least on their weddings (if at all they feel the need to go through any formal ceremony). this goes for both my sons and daughter.
it is a shame, that these days, when the girls are so well educated, they are forced to pay dowry, all the thingamajigs for setting up a household and foot the wedding expenses. it is high time that the bride/groom stepped in and footed the bill. what a shame!
Nice post Selva. I like the part about the poomalai and the heavy silk sarees. Man, I have seen my cousin suffer wearing that humongous garland during his marriage, not to mention the unbearable itching sensation he had to put up with due to the threads that held the flowers together.
hey, congrats on getting aboard scienceblogs!
also, your 'review' post @DP was great. i have been away from blogs for quite some time..so dont mid the delay.
This post prompts me to revisit my wedding experience. Apart from all those rituals, the one thing I hated was the so called RECEPTION. I and My wife were standing more than three hours, sporting a fake smile and behaving as though we knew every one in the small hall.
If silk saris make women sweat it's the blazers for the men. After 3 long hours I got rid of that fancy dress and still the crease hasn't changed. It's lying in the bureau
...religious implications of the marriage ceremony...
I share with you my impatience with religion, being quite allergic to God (and organized religion in particular). But I no problem in participating in a lot of mindless rituals of India. Provided they are harmless and fun. Shlokas that purify the soul and send virations to the heavens? I don't think so. But just as a listening (and enunciating) experience, the chants with all their rythmic patterns and sounds, can be quite rewarding. Most marriage rituals are pretty benign too (to hell with their "deeper" significance). And it is this web of rituals and traditions that gives a culture its flavor and identity.
I'm working on a book about bachelor parties and pre-wedding rituals around the world. Is there any Indian tradition that's similar to the all-male bachelor party in the United States? If do, I'd love to hear about it...dboyer[AT]yoideaman[DOT]com