So the premise is that Santa is at least several hundred years old, and you've got to assume that somewhere along the line, he spent some time in academia and probably got a degree or two. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that he is a man of science, but I guess the question to ask is in what way specifically?
I can think of a couple angles one can pursue here, whether it relates to reindeer or elves or climate or his delivery route and/or delivery methodology, but let's see what others will think about first.
Mind you, for some reason (and if I had to make a single character assessment) I would like to think that Santa had a lot of trouble with inorganic chemistry - you know, like he just couldn't get into that kind of stuff. Maybe that's why you don't see Santa on big pharma ads too often...
- Log in to post comments
Medicine or Psychiatry: He has a clear interest in who is naughty and nice and what he can do to fix people.
Ping!
Santa is plainly not a scientist.
He hasn't published any papers that I can find anywhere, and yet he seems to have plenty of funding.
Personally, I suspect that after an undergraduate degree, perhaps in some variety of engineering, he got an MBA, and now only has to make a token appearance once a year while his elves do all the work.
Clearly, an operant behaviorist, delivering reinforcers on a Fixed Interval (FI-1yr) schedule, contingent on "nice" behavior. "Naughty" behaviors are under extinction, or on contingent delivery of coal.
Also explains how he trained the reindeer, and why the Elves have not yet gone out on strike. North Pole = Walden 3.
Ping.
I can't agree entirely with that, SMC. I believe his training must be in engineering, but it's much more than a BScEng.
All the clues point to Mr. Claus being the code name for the head of a blackbook high-speed reconnaissance aircraft project, similar in scope to the SR-71 or the discredited Aurora. We have a flight platform with known VTOL and stealth characteristics. Various sightings indicate that it can move well in excess of hypersonic velocities. "Reindeer" may be a codename for the closely-linked propulsion project. I think we can consider NORAD's annual tracking event a disinformation campaign. We have word of a secret development facility for "toys", located somewhere in the high arctic, either in Alaska or neighboring Canada. We have reports that Mr. Claus employs a workforce entirely consisting of little people, who no doubt find it easier to maintain a vehicle with the degree of miniaturization that Claus' "Sleigh" project exhibits. We have the code names for his test pilots, including "Rudolf", who may have been an ex-Luftwaffe ace. And most damning of all, we are given to understand that Mr. Claus "sees us when we are sleeping, and knows when we are awake", a capability similar to that employed by the most modern surveillance satellites. In this post-PATRIOT climate, we can be sure that Mr. Claus has his bright red nose in our business at all times.
I would posit that Claus is ultimately an employee of Boeing, given his reputable largesse, and the U.S. government's favoritism to Lockheed Martin in the public sphere points to a distraction tactic like a magician's sleight of hand. However, I'm inclined to believe "Santa Claus" is a codename for the head of Boeing's secret R&D arm, and has been applied to as many as eight men. Unlike Kelly Johnson and the Skunk Works, Mr. Claus has been around a very long time, and it beggars imagination that any one person should have held the position for such a stretch.
SMC - I beg to differ. I quick pubmed search for the author 'S Claus' brings up 21 articles by SP, SC, SA and S Claus, ranging from 1990 to the present. I think it may be possible that all of these are by THE S Claus, using different middle initials to try to confuse searchers. There is a clear interest in prostatic hyperplasia - unsurprising I suppose in a gentleman of advanced years. And a nod to the popularly reddened nose - one of the papers is looking at the long term culture of nasal epithelial cells.
I would like to know what drives his interest in liberally educated nursing majors....
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors, among other things, and who better to protect sailors than a marine geologist?