Obituary

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment and the fine family dining communities.

The Pillsbury Dough boy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Dough boy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Dough boy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Dough boy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Dough boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

[If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.]

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