I thought I'd make a (humble) contribution to this administration's never ending quest to find new things for God-fearing Americans to fear, now we must be afraid to sleep on the beach.
A man was found dead at the south end of Ocean Beach this morning, after he apparently was smothered by sand while he slept on the shore, officials said.
[ .. ]
Feinstein said it is not unusual to find homeless people, sometimes in pairs, sleeping on that portion of Ocean Beach, which is lined by sand dunes. Surfers frequent the water there as well.
Hrm, I wonder what those pairs of people were doing prior to being buried? So I ask you, amigos bonitos what's worse; to be smothered by sand or to be smothered by sand in the company of someone else??
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Hmmh. Me and Ms. Oolius "slept" on the beach at OB one night. It was quite pleasant, and I can assure you that though sand was a concern, we were certainly not covered in it by the end of the evening.
I knew it was just a matter of time before the sand stopped taking our abuse and began to strike back.
Among other things we should worry about, may I humbly offer fat people causing the world to tip over and balloons shutting out the sun.
Why does sand hate America?
A question that will become more and more relevant as the globe heats up, the jet stream marches north, and America dries out.