4th of July: A Fancy Excuse To Blow Up Shit

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This is what many politically conservative, rural, beer swilling, smoking, gun toting Americans (alias "rednecks") do on the anniversary of this nation's independence: they spend their hard-earned money on diluted blobs of dynamite so they can blow up shit [3:21]

Hrm, lots of noise and expense but overall, a big disappointment .. kinda reminds me of ejaculation. How was it for you?

Since firecrackers (and fireworks, which contain less dynamite) are illegal in NYC, this means that all my neighbors have purchased hundreds and hundreds of dollars' worth of firecrackers and alcohol (where do they get the money??) so they can get drunk and blow up shit in their own neighborhoods!

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And on the other side of the US, much of the west is banning even 4th of July fireworks this year, due to extreme fire danger. Now... where did that extreme fire danger come from? Well, many consecutive hot, dry, and windy summers - exactly what global warming is expected to bring to the area.

Like my horses and my dog, I'm not at all a fan of fireworks. In fact, I might try a dose of the herbal Dog-Calm.

I wouldn't assume that enjoyment of the noisy unpredictable dangerous gunpowder things is limited to rural conservative redneck types, though. I can think of quite a few well-educated suburban/urban liberals (including a couple with whom I share a substantial amount of genetic material) who are filled with glee at the prospect of fireworks, especially if they're lighting the fuses. Fireworks here are dirt cheap...much cheaper entertainment than alcohol, or driving around in your raised F250 and throwing beer cans out the window.

I'll walk the dog early this evening (people around here are also fond of shooting off guns on the Fourth), and be thankful that it rained today, in case any bottle rockets land on my roof or in my yard.

Wow! Just because some people enjoy setting off fireworks and you don't, they're drunken rednecks!

Oh, and of course, it goes without saying that the politically liberal are superior to the politically conservative, wine drinkers are superior to beer drinkers, etc., etc.

Cough *snob* cough.

Blowing shit up! Oo! Oo! I want a turn! Better yet, make it two turns - one for each of my X chromosomes!

By themadlolscientist (not verified) on 06 Jul 2008 #permalink