Metaphysics with Computers

More fluff while I grade papers...

While you're giving me your puns (see below), you should also give me your best (slightly) pejorative and (hopefully) funny descriptions of cognitive psychology/science. The two best I've heard, both from the same attention researcher, are:

"Cognitive psychology is just metaphysics with computers."

and

"Cognitive psychology is a bunch of monkeys jumping around trying to grab the high hanging fruit."

More like this

I'll get back to substantive posting in a bit, but as the semester wraps up, I wanted to ask for your help. Over the years, punning has become a more and more integral part of our lab meetings. It's reached the point, in fact, that our P.I. can barely utter a single non-pun sentence, even outside…
Belief in Evolutionary Psychology May Be Hardwired, Study Says. (Cartoon from here. And yes, French was spoken in the EEA.) In related news, a new study has determined that "cognitive linguistics" is just a metaphor for the way the mind actually works.
The New York Times has just published its seventh annual list of the year's best ideas, which includes: Alzheimer's telephone screening: a "telephone quiz" consisting of 50 questions, designed to measure the "cognitive vital signs", such as short-term memory loss, which can identify Alzheimer's…
In the previous entry, I made some disparaging remarks about conceptual metaphor theory (CMT), and George Lakoff specifically. I also noted that, in my experience,, the psycholinguist Raymond Gibbs, Jr. is the only one in the cognitive linguistics who seriously addresses the evidence and…

who is the attention researcher?