A Cretaceous hypothesis

Synergy! Ooblog leads me to a spectacular painting of carnotaurs mating (did they always get a flight of pterosaurs at the climax?), and then by way of The Two Percent Company, I found this enlightening poster of mammals mating (hey, how many of the first 20 have you done?)…with the unfortunate consequence of death by STD. Put two and two together, and what conclusion do we arrive at?

Dinosaurs didn't use condoms.

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PZ, considering the reptilian nature of some of the people in government right now, I think this prehistoric lizard porn has just gotten you on some kind of government list.

Shades of "V".

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I found you!

By BJNicholls (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

hey, how many of the first 20 have you done?

Um...7. 6 if you count to climax.

Fsck.

I got a LOTTA catchin' up to do...

Dinosaurs didn't use condoms.

So dinosaurs were wiped out by Jurassic AIDS?

By Ian H Spedding FCD (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

Did the dude get the lipstick-on-the-mirror missive as is de rigeur for these things? Besides... didn't anyone tell those poor mammals that HIV is contracted much more readily via the vaginal linings? OOOH, wait... the evil AIDS slut has corrupted another fine young man.
It interests me that we see it from the male perspective. It is his plight we are to empathize with, as the female participant's fate is neither shown, or considered important
whoa!... the fermented barley/hops combination is really startin' to kick in...

By alcoolworld (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

alcoolworld, it's not all that strange when you realize the poster is probably intended to encourage men to put condoms on their body parts. It's a more direct method than encouraging woman to require men to wear condoms.

Thus, the male is character that faces the consequences in the poster, even though male to female transmission is easier than female to male.

alcoolworld:

It is his plight we are to empathize with, as the female participant's fate is neither shown, or considered important

A friend of mine brought up a similar objection. I chose to interpret that poster as "It's all fun and games until someone starts puking and dies."

Viewed as a comic, the poster shows sex for 20 panels, and AIDS for 15 panels. So it conveys the message that the disease will take a long time to kill you -- almost as long as you've been having sex.

I never get WWII bomber flight pattern of pterosaurs at climax. I'm feeling cheated now. What's the mammal equivalent? A flight of bats?

Wait... that would remind me of my ex. Never mind.

By foldedpath (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

Pterosaurs or Fuolornis Fire Dragons? Unf.

Position #19 looks awfully dangerous. I suppose if you get off on the potential danger of head and/or neck trauma, it's wonderful.

Its the Cretaceous equivalent of steam trains and fireworks.

By Dave Godfrey (not verified) on 09 Nov 2006 #permalink

That whole on the desk thing is way overrated... Hurts like hell. Then again, if you're into that kind of thing...

"So dinosaurs were wiped out by Jurassic AIDS?"

I can just picture Fred Phelps outside a natural history museum with a 'GOD hates Dinosaurs' placard. Maybe that's why they didn't get onto the ark.

By James Orpin (not verified) on 10 Nov 2006 #permalink

Um, 17. But I was a callow youth then. (Ah, the 60's...)

14 through 20 would be a world of hurt today...

I've at least attempted almost all of them, allowing for reasonable variation. Some of them are unclear to my eye (eight, for instance, seems anatomically dubious -- even assuming it's an anal position, I doubt the rectum curves in quite that way to allow for penetration there) and others are incredibly difficult for anyone other than those with perfect bodies to accomplish (three requires a female partner with a fairly small ass or a male partner who is fairly well endowed, or both). That said, I've at least attempted all but 8, 9, 14, 18, and 19. Sixteen is fun for me if you allow for the female's feet to be on the ground, but I haven't tried it with a prop of that height.

I don't think having tried any of these makes you a pervert. Using the poster as inspiration for new things to try (which I am doing now) probably is.

I don't think having tried any of these makes you a pervert. Using the poster as inspiration for new things to try (which I am doing now) probably is.

I think I'd reserve the pervert label for people attempting sex with carnotaurs (along with a few other choice pejoratives). :P

fossil-rapers?

time-traveling man-on-doggers?

Luis Rey is illustrating a kid's encyclopedia for me (Random House, will be out by this time next year). However, that particular picture won't be in it...

However, it DID inspire web cartoonist (and former student in one my classes) Mike Keesey to create this cartoon (http://www.parryandcarney.com/comic/33.html); part of a sequence in which Carney the Carnotaurus and his partner are trying to find out where babies come from).

alcoolworld, it's not all that strange when you realize the poster is probably intended to encourage men to put condoms on their body parts. It's a more direct method than encouraging woman to require men to wear condoms.

At least until you remember that they make female condoms now, and you change your mind, and then you look at the retail price of them, and change your mind again. Yeesh.