Neil deGrasse Tyson Owes Emmy a Cookie

I'm watching an episode of NOVA scienceNOW (eccentric capitalization makes it hip!), and Neil deGrasse Tyson is doing a segment on extrasolar planets. I'm only half listening, because I'm also trying to keep SteelyKid from trying to eat any of the furniture, but it's quite good.

All of a sudden, Emmy's head snaps up. "Hey!" she says. "He owes me a cookie!"

"What?" I ask. "Who owes you a cookie?"

"The human on the tv. He was just explaining science using dogs. Inferior dogs. That's my job!"

"Technically, it's my job. I'm the one who does all the writing, after all." I rewind the DVR a bit to see what she's talking about. It's an analogy between the "wobble" method of detecting extrasolar planets, and detecting the presence of a dog by looking at the way its owner is tugged while on a walk.

"That's a good analogy," I say, "and totally the sort of thing I would've used had we talked about extrasolar planets in the book. We didn't use it, though."

"Yeah, but the dogs-and-physics thing is our idea. He's stealing our idea. And he's probably getting paid for it to, so he owes me a cookie."

"He's not stealing our idea. This is a case of independent invention, like with Newton and Leibniz independently inventing the calculus at the same time." SteelyKid is trying to crawl under the end table to get at the Roomba, so I scoop her up and set her back down by the toy box.

"Or Feynman, Schwinger, and Tomonoga each coming up with quantum electro-dynamics in the late 1940's?"

"Sure, I guess that would work, too. The combination of dogs and science is just too good an idea to pass up. Dogs and science go together like, like..."

"Steak and cheese?"

"Sure, like steak and cheese."

"Or bacon and cheese. That's good, too."

"Bacon and cheese would also work, yes." SteelyKid attempts to pick up a rubber duck the size of her head, and thumps down into a sitting position with a surprised look on her face.

"Or peanut butter and cheese. Or cookies and cheese. Or steak and peanut butter and bacon and cheese. And cookies."

"OK, that's five things, not two. You need just two to make a good analogy."

"Yeah, but you need all five to make a really great treat. I'd settle for a cookie, though."

"Well, if I ever meet him, I'll be sure to pass that along," I say. "I wouldn't hold out too much hope for a cookie, though."

"BA BA BA BA BA!" says SteelyKid, banging the duck on the floor.

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IMHO you should send Neil deGrasse Tyson a letter, I would say e-mail but I bet he gets thousands. Let him know he owes Emmy a cookie and alert him to Scienceblogs, your blog and Emmy's vital role in the education of the American populous. Be sure to include a picture of Emmy, the injured party.

Odds are it gets ignored but there is some chance if it catches his eye, I suspect he has a sense of humor, that he might stuff a cookie into a box with a note to Emmy as a lark.

Who knows where such plucking the strings of fate might lead. You could list Tyson as a friend. Tyson could list Emmy as a 'consultant'. An inside joke. Emmy might get a cookie. You could blog on the arrival of a cookie and Emmy's reaction, and NOVA makes another connection and friend.

I empathize with Emmy but it's important to be fair about this. I know if a dog complained to me about not being taken seriously, the only thing I would likely say in return would be, "Wow, a talking dog!".

IMHO you should send Neil deGrasse Tyson a letter, I would say e-mail but I bet he gets thousands. Let him know he owes Emmy a cookie and alert him to Scienceblogs, your blog and Emmy's vital role in the education of the American populous. Be sure to include a picture of Emmy, the injured party.

Actually, he's already aware of the blog, at least a little. He left a comment here when I posted a review of Death by Black Hole.

I empathize with Emmy but it's important to be fair about this. I know if a dog complained to me about not being taken seriously, the only thing I would likely say in return would be, "Wow, a talking dog!".

Yeah, but you'd give that dog a cookie, wouldn't you?

But, if you give a dog a cookie, he's going to want something to wash it down. So you get a bowl and fill it with water. But that will make him think about filling up the little pool outside. So you go outside to get the pool out ...

Hm. If Emmy is anything like my dog, she believes everyone owes her a cookie. 'Cause she's a dog. A good dog. See those cute eyes? And that lolling tongue? But hey, nabbing a treat from someone on TV would be a coup. I hope Emmy gets one -- from Tyson.

I used to have lunch with Neil sometimes during the summer of '93, back when he was a research scientist at Princeton, and I was a lowly summer student. He's a really cool guy. Ate a lot of tuna fish, if I remember correctly.

He might be the type to send cookies to puppies with slightly injured feelings on the strength of their big, brown eyes.