Father's Day 2015

Act I:

STEELYKID and THE PIP: Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

DADDY: Aww, that's sweet. So, what are you going to make me for breakfast?


DADDY: It's father's day, right? So you guys should be cooking breakfast for me.


THE PIP: We can't cook breakfast for you. We're not tall enough to bake stuff. And, also, we're not allowed to cook.

DADDY: Well, I'm your father, so I can give you permission to cook breakfast.

STEELYKID: Yeah, but we don't know how to cook.

THE PIP: Yeah, so you have to cook pancakes for us!

DADDY: Oh, all right. I guess I can do that. {Heads into kitchen}

{End of Act I}

Act II:

{DADDY is in the kitchen, cooking pancakes. A very loud THUMP comes from the living room.}

DADDY: [The Pip], what are you doing in there?

THE PIP: Nothing, now.

DADDY: What were you doing just now that resulted in a big loud THUMP?

THE PIP: Well, I'm not going to tell you.

DADDY {walking into the living room with a pancake}: I see. Well, do you know what we do to toddlers who make big loud THUMP noises and won't tell what they did?

THE PIP: No...

DADDY: We tickle them!

{Wild shrieks of laughter. Curtain.}

So, that's how my morning is going. Hope the other fathers out there are getting backtalk that's half as cute.

The Pip is ready to fix anything that needs drilling, and SteelyKid wants a katana. The Pip is ready to fix anything that needs drilling, and SteelyKid wants a katana.

More like this

SCENE: The library at Chateau Steelypips. DADDY is typing on the computer, while THE PIP plays on the floor. Enter STEELYKID. STEELYKID: I'm already four years old. DADDY: Yes, yes you are. THE PIP: Thbbbbbbbpppt! STEELYKID: How old is The Pip? DADDY: Eleven months. Not quite one year. STEELYKID:…
In the car, on the way from day care to campus to watch a softball game DADDY: So, what did you do at school today? STEELYKID: Daddy, I'm a superhero. They call me Strong Ninja Girl. Strong World-Saving Ninja Girl. DADDY: Because you save the world? STEELYKID: Right. And M____ is World-Saving…
[Scene: Dinner at Chateau SteelyPips. DADDY is starting to say something about his day at work, when STEELYKID interrupts.] STEELYKID: If you eat too many hot dogs, you'll turn into a hot dog! DADDY: That would be pretty silly. Luckily, you're eating chicken for dinner. Eat your chicken. STEELYKID…
The image here of a pancake cooking isn't particularly interesting in its own right, other than as documentation of our weekend ritual at Chateau Steelypips. Saturday and sunday mornings, Kate sleeps in while the kids watch cartoons and I cook pancakes for them. SteelyKid absolutely drowns hers in…

Daughter, 16, has not yet risen. A card was left on my computer keyboard that announces that, front cover, "We live on a Gigantic Rock that circles a massive Ball of Gas that is hurtling through infinity And We Don't Really have a satisfying answer to why that is happening", and, inside, hand-written, "ISN'T THAT WILD", and other, soppier stuff. Card fails to mention that said rock also rotates in a weird way that causes the Solstice, also celebrated today, so am uncertain whether said card is for Father's Day or for Solstice.

"Daddy" in heart on envelope tends towards former option, since pretty sure that earth's orbit is not heart shaped. Suggestion that family orbits around Daddy is doubtful.

By Peter Morgan (not verified) on 21 Jun 2015 #permalink