Dog
drorzel | March 10, 2009The book is now starting through the production process, and people at Scribner are thinking about publicity. I got email asking whether I could set up a Facebook page for Emmy as a promotion.
I'm not sure whether that meant a fan page for the dog, or a Facebook profile for her, as if she were a user of the site. I'm also not sure whether setting up a Facebook account for my dog is acceptable within the normal Facebook operating parameters. Still, it's amusing to consider what she would have on her Facebook profile.
I mean, obviously, she's looking for random play, and her interests include…
drorzel | December 29, 2008While I realize that you find your eighty-pound Labrador Retriever utterly charming, there are, in fact, other people and dogs who are not enthusiastic about having him galumphing over to try to jump on us. Hard to believe, I know, but it's true.
For this reason, you should have your dog on a leash when you go outside. Or, if that basic bit of courtesy is too much, you should at least put a collar on the dog, so you have something to grab onto when you make a belated attempt to control him.
Yes, this is true even if you're only going outside long enough to get into the car and run an errand.…
drorzel | December 9, 2008I'm sitting at the dining room table eating lunch, when I get the feeling of being watched. I look around, and see the dog across the room, curled up on her pillows staring at me. She's quietly chanting to herself "I get stuff. I get stuff. I get stuff."
"You're not trying that hypnosis thing again, are you?" I ask. "You know it won't work."
"No. I'm manipulating the wavefunction of the universe to bring me good things. Such as, for example, that cheeseburger you're eating."
"Really. Manipulating the wavefunction of the universe?"
"Really. You see, all conscious beings are surrounded by an…
drorzel | October 20, 2008From this weekend's visit home, a picture of my father and me, with our respective babies:
You recognize SteelyKid, I hope. The fuzzy yellow guy is Bodie, my parents' new Labrador Retriever puppy. Bodie is one day older than SteelyKid, and true to his Labrador breeding, he's a born experimentalist, running around the house giving everything an exploratory bite or two. You can even see him eying SteelyKid:
He's thinking "I could totally eat that."
And, of course, as a puppy, he maintains an unassailable dignity at all times, even when sleeping:
OK, maybe not so much with the dignity thing.
drorzel | October 8, 2008
A Colbert Report re-run about the financial crisis has just ended, so I turn the tv off, grab my jacket and the leash, and head out for a walk with the dog. She's oddly pensive as we head up the street. After a little while, she stops and asks, "What was that all about?"
"All what?"
"All that 'crisis' and 'bailout' stuff. It sounds scary."
"Well, a bunch of banks made a bunch of really bad loans, and people have lost a lot of money."
"I got that," she says. "I may be a dog, but I'm not stupid. I'm asking how they lost a lot of money."
"Well, it's complicated, but I'll try to explain. Let's…
drorzel | August 12, 2008The dog sniffs gently at the baby in my lap. "So, what the heck is this?"
"This is SteelyKid. Be nice to her."
"But, I mean, what is it? It's not a bunny, is it?" She sniffs some more, just to be sure.
"What do you mean? Of course she's not a bunny. She doesn't look anything like a bunny."
"Well, she could be, like, a bunny in disguise. Like, a bunny Terminator, from the future. They're very wily, you know." She looks concerned.
"You're being ridiculous. She's not a bunny, she's a baby."
"A baby?"
"It's like a puppy, only human. A human puppy."
"Ohhhhh... So where's the rest of the litter…
drorzel | July 31, 2008"The Internet is silly!"
I turn around from the computer. "Yes it is," I say to the dog, "But what, specifically, makes you say that?"
"All these posts about physics theories. Comparing them to women and men and stupid wizards, and relationships. It's silly."
"Yes, well, it does seem to be the diversion of the moment."
"Anyway, they've got it all wrong. Physics theories are like my toys."
"oh, god..." I was afraid of this.
"Go on, name a theory, and I'll tell you how it's like my toys."
"Do I have to?"
"Yes! Go on, name a theory!"
"Fine. Classical mechanics."
"Oh, that's easy. Classical…
drorzel | July 26, 2008It was a lovely afternoon at Chateau Steelypips. I sat in the back yard reading a biography of Ernest Rutherford (about which more tomorrow), while Emmy guarded against intrusions of various sorts: squirrels, inferior dogs out for walks, the next-door neighbors' kids.
There comes a time, though, when no matter how nice it may be outside, you just want to go inside and take a nap:
It's so hard to be the Queen of Niskayuna.
drorzel | July 16, 2008Just before we turn the corner, a woman goes jogging past with a Golden Retriever. As we continue on our way, I can hear the Doberman three houses up barking at them as they go past. The windows muffle the sound, but I can make out a bit of it. "Get offa my lawn! Gonna bite you! My lawn!"
When we reach the end of their driveway, Emmy immediately squats. The Doberman goes nuts. "My lawn! Kill you! Go away! My lawn! Kill you!" Emmy hackles all over, all the way down to her tail, and makes little distressed noises.
When we get clear of the Doberman's yard, and the barking subsides, she stops and…
drorzel | June 5, 2008A simple question:
Bunnies or squirrels?
Emmy eagerly awaits your answer.
She leans toward bunnies, herself, because squirrels can climb trees or, as she puts it, "escape into an extra dimension" (a little knowledge is a dangerous thing). Bunnies are earthbound, and thus better for chasing.
Of course, there's also the Cat Question, but we'll save that for another day...
drorzel | May 23, 2008A few years ago, my father retired from public school teaching, and decided to get a dog to keep him company. He purchased a yellow Labrador Retreiver puppy, who was dubbed "RD" for "Ron's Dog." He started out small, but quickly grew into a barrel-chested lunkhead, who panted like a freight train whenever he saw a person who might give him food or attention, which is to say any person at all.
A week or so ago, he started acting a bit off, and wouldn't eat. For this dog, that was a major crisis, so they took him to the vet. Yesterday, they found out that he was riddled with tumors, and they…
drorzel | May 17, 2008
"What the hell is this?"
"We're remodeling the garage into a family room."
"Oooh! That's a good idea!"
"Thanks. We're so glad you approve."
"So, where are you going to put the bunny hutch?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"For me to keep my bunnies in!"
"You don't have any bunnies."
"Not yet, I don't, but now that we'll have room, you can buy me some. I can play with them in here, or out in my yard..."
"Ah, no. I don't think so. We won't be buying you any bunnies."
"Then why did you buy the bunny hutch?"
"The what?"
"The hutch. The thing with the hard mattress surrounded by bars, upstairs. It's for…
drorzel | May 9, 2008You have no idea how hard it is to be the Queen of Niskayuna. Between the talking about Relativity, and the people working on the house, and the nice weather, and the squirrels, and the cleaning service coming by, and the inferior dogs in the neighborhood, well, she's just wiped out:
She was too tired to even arrange her pillows in a satisfactory manner last night. She managed on Wednesday, and the resulting picture is much cuter:
There are probably two more weeks to go on the construction project, so life won't get any easier for Her Majesty. I'm sure she'll find a way to muddle through,…
drorzel | May 5, 2008As I'm driving down the street, a squirrel darts out into the road a block or so ahead of me. From the back seat, the dog says "Gun it!!!! Hit the squirrel, hit the squirrel, hitthesquirrel!"
"Will you sit down and be quiet?" We're having some work done on the house, and I'm taking her to work with me so she's not underfoot for the contractors.
The squirrel makes it to the other side of the road, and up a tree to safety. "Awwww," says the dog. "Dude, you totally could've gotten that one. This car is way faster than a stupid squirrel."
"That may be, but I have a class to teach today. I don't…
drorzel | April 18, 2008"Why in the world are you posting that?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's a yappy little dog. We don't like yappy little dogs."
"True enough, but it's a picture of a yappy little dog in the infrared, and that's pretty cool."
"I don't think it's all that cool. You should take pictures of me in the infrared. I'd look much cooler than that dog."
"I don't doubt that, but I don't have a heat-sensitive infrared camera, and I can't really justify spending thousands of dollars on one just to take pictures of you for filler posts on my blog."
"Maybe. I'm skeptical. How about a visible-light picture, at…
drorzel | March 18, 2008chezjake asks:
OK, try this one on for size. Do you have a bias against cats? We know that you have Emmy, and therefore you like dogs, but is there a reason you don't also have a cat?
Well, the main reason we don't have a cat is that we have Emmy. She divides the world of furry quadrupeds into two categories: "Prey" and "Terrifying." She can't quite make up her mind which category cats belong in, but neither is conducive to having a cat in the house.
In general, I'm not a Cat Person, though Kate is. I prefer my pets to be willing to acknowledge my existence at all times, not just when they…
drorzel | March 7, 2008Today is the last day of our trip, so here's a shot of Her Majesty showing off her regal side.
Of course, the snow on her muzzle kind of undercuts the dignified affect...
drorzel | March 6, 2008Day three of our vacation, and another Action Dog! shot:
Here, Emmy demonstrates that among her other superlative qualities, she is exceptionally strong and stubborn. This is a good shot of the Kong Wubba, as well.
drorzel | March 5, 2008Another dog picture for you to admire while I'm out of town:
It's a little tough to tell what she's doing here, but this is a play-bow-- she's stretched her paws out in front of her and brought the front part of her body down, but her butt is still up in the air. One of us is just off camera, about to throw the toy she's looking up at.
drorzel | March 4, 2008Kate and I are going out of town for a few days. I may or may not check in and post some stuff while we're gone-- it will depend on how busy we are, and how good the Internet access is in the hotel.
I had intended to schedule some substantive posts to appear during our trip, but that didn't happen. So I'm scheduling dog pictures instead. We'll start off with Action Dog!
If only that bush weren't in the way, this would be a great picture. Oh, well.