Weirdness
pharyngula | September 5, 2006The results of the scienceblogger "hot or not" contest are up, and they're definitely screwy. What am I doing at #4? What's the matter with you people?
pharyngula | September 4, 2006Have you ever browsed a sperm bank catalog? It's a real meat market. You get lists of men by height, weight, profession, ethnic background, etc., and if you like that 6'1" red-haired Lithuanian stockbroker, click, and he's in your shopping cart. They ship direct to your doctor (residential delivery costs extra), and they even have a return policy.
Of course, if you're anything like me, you look at the list and can't help but think, "What a bunch of wankers."
Still, it's a tragedy when you learn that they've been wiped out in a tragic refrigerator accident. Oh, my dear Scots-Irish ski…
pharyngula | September 4, 2006Now you can play Scienceblogger Hot or Not. I don't know whether to approve or not.
pharyngula | September 4, 2006People send me things that put lust in my heart.
I want one of these.
I want some of these, too.
I need a seal like this so I can stamp all my official correspondence with it.
Clearly, there will be a future need for Space Squid Conservationists.
pharyngula | September 4, 2006Now this is a headline: Man lived to 112 on sausage-and-waffles diet. In addition to living that long, I have another dream:
"All of his organs were extremely youthful. They could have been the organs of someone who was 50 or 60, not 112. Clearly his genes had some secrets," Coles said.
"Everything in his body that we looked at was clean as a whistle, except for his lungs with the pneumonia," Coles said. "He had no heart disease, he had no cancer, no diabetes and no Alzheimer's.
When I'm dead, I want someone to discuss my internal organs on the internet. Photos would be even better. I don't…
pharyngula | August 30, 2006
Am I some kind of preeevert or something? Because when I see this turtle's plastron, which some say has an image of the Virgin Mary, I see something completely different. When did a featureless tube with a nipple-like bump at the top acquire this peculiar association with virginity, I wonder?
pharyngula | August 29, 2006What a strange story: a woman donates one of her kidneys to another woman in need. Later, the recipient leaves the Christian faith. Now the donor wants her organ back.
Smith was aghast when she heard of the conversion, and she quickly wrote a letter asking Felks to re-convert to Christianity or return the organ, saying it was donated under false pretenses.
"I feel helpless," she says. "Part of my body, my DNA, is stuck inside a person who's going to hell."
There's some freaking weird theology going on here. Does she think her DNA is going to be assumed into the afterlife? Do spirits have DNA…
pharyngula | August 28, 2006Plans for my army of zombie cephalopod-cyborgs proceed apace. First target: Holland!
Go ahead, open the dikes—nothing will stop them.
(via My Confined Space)
pharyngula | August 28, 2006The BIG fair, the Minnesota state fair, is going on right now, and Karina Hill is letting people vote on exactly which repellent Midwestern grease lump on a stick she should eat. Here's the menu:
Fried cheese puffs
Cajun Season Alligator Sausage on-a-stick
Deep Fried Cheese on a stick
Jerk pork chop drummy
Pancake wrapped around sausage on-a-stick
Uffda Treat
Belgium waffle on-a-stick
Australian Battered Potatoes
Cheese-burger calzones on-a-stick
Wild Rice corndogs
Key Lime Pie on-a-stick
Dogzilla
Egg-roll on-a-stick
Fried-Egg Bagel Sandwich
Pizza on-a-stick
Political pop…
pharyngula | August 24, 2006
Here's an idea. If I'm worried that my wife would object to squid art, I could ease her into the idea by first exposing her to rooms with an arthropod theme. As another advantage, when I opened the door to salesmen and Jehovah's Witnesses, they'd see giant spiders clinging to the walls and run away.
pharyngula | August 23, 2006I'm sorry to say that on our last trip to New York, we missed this museum.
Peruse an 1814 sketchbook by the Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai and eventually you'll come across a bashful, wide-eyed octopus. You'd never guess that the innocent creature leads a secret life of debauchery. But a few years later, there he is on a woodblock print, still wide-eyed, now presented by Hokusai in a moment of infamous passion—his bulbous head pushed between the legs of a young woman, delivering a rather well-received session of cunnilingis. Hilarious and startling, it's just one example of the explicit…
pharyngula | August 21, 2006
So this is what that phrase means: S. Daniel Morgan tells me that you can get an Albert Einstein action figure, but I haven't been able to find a comparable Charles Darwin action figure. This just isn't right.
I did discover that SciAm pointed out this deficiency long ago. I checked Archie McPhee, of course…and they've got pirates and Jesus and Lunch Ladies and Carl Jung and an albino bowler, but no Darwin. This is a serious lacuna in the necessary office toys category.
pharyngula | August 20, 2006But when you do shed your speedo, don't throw it in the water—it's bad for dolphins and other living things. Read about the poor dolphin who tried to wear a speedo—it took an emergency depantsing team to rescue him.
(via One Good Thing)
pharyngula | August 19, 2006People like the Disgruntled Chemist see stuff like this, and they just think, "PZ!"
Of course, it is breakfast time, and I'm thinking…man oh man, I could go for a big bowl of tasty Squid Chunks right now. Mmmm-mmmm. Piquant, and they slide down so smooth and easy.
I could be their 'celebrity' pitchman!
pharyngula | August 17, 2006Truth is something unearthed gradually, and we have to be prepared to revise our interpretation of it based on the evidence. Several readers have informed me of recent developments that will require us to radically re-evaluate our perspective on the universe.
Geocentrism can make a comeback! Since astronomers are arguing about the definition of something as fundamental as a "planet," that obviously means that all of physics is in disarray, and completely wrong.
As long as we're resurrecting old fables, we might as well get them right this time: clearly, God is a giant squid. There's even…
pharyngula | August 17, 2006First, the Minnesota zombies invaded the lakes. Then there was some unpleasantness from the police when they took over the mall. Now there's going to be a zombie pub crawl in Minneapolis on Saturday, September 9. But wait! There's also going to be a pirate pub crawl on the same day! What to do, what to do…
Actually, my personal dilemma is easily resolved by the date. It is a very bad idea to do a pub crawl the evening before your wife's birthday. Even if the possibility of a pirate-zombie war tempts you.
(via MNspeak)
pharyngula | August 16, 2006
Somebody has way too much time on their hands: they've modeled a Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster…in Legos.
I'm afraid, though, that I'm such an atheist that if such a building existed in reality, I'd still spurn it as superstitious nonsense.
pharyngula | August 15, 2006
Southern Illinois University Carbondale is raising money for their Darwin Day celebration by selling something a little bit cheesy, but I may have to get one for my office anyway: a Darwin bobblehead. Cute, eh? Don't you need one, too?